Blott on the Landscape

And as he drove he became increasingly aware that the countryside had changed. He had left the motorway and was on a minor road that twisted and turned. The hedgerows grew taller and more rank. Hills rose up and fell away into empty valleys and woods took on a rougher, less domesticated air. Even the houses had lost the comfortable homogeneous look of the North London suburbs. They were either large and isolated, standing in their own grounds, or stone-built farmhouses surrounded by dark corrugated iron sheds and barns. Every now and again he passed through villages, strange conglomerations of cottages and shops, buildings that loomed mis-shapenly over the road or retreated behind hedges with an eccentricity of ornaments he found disturbing. And finally there were churches. Dundridge disliked churches most of all. They reminded him of death and burial, guilt and sin and the hereafter. Archaic reminders of a superstitious past. And since Dundridge lived if not for the present at least the immediate future, these memento mori held no attractions for him. They cast horrid doubts on the rational nature of existence. Not that Dundridge believed in reason. He placed his faith in science and numeration.

Now as he drove northwards he had to admit that he was entering a world far removed from his ideal. Even the sky had changed with the landscape and the shadows of large clouds slid erratically across the fields and hills. By the time he reached South Worfordshire he was distinctly perturbed. If Worford was anything like the surrounding countryside it must be a horrid place filled with violent, irrational creatures swayed by strange emotions. It was. As he drove over the bridge that spa

“Where’s Knacker’s Yard?” he asked the car-park attendant.

“Down Giblet Walk.”

“Very informative,” said Dundridge with a shudder. “And Where’s Giblet Walk?”

“Well now, let’s see, you can go down past the Goat and Goblet or you can take a short cut through the Shambles,” said the old man and spat into the gutter.

Dundridge considered this unenticing alternative. “Where are the Shambles?” he asked finally.

“Behind you,” said the attendant.

Dundridge turned round and looked into the shadow of a narrow alley. It was cobbled and led down the hill and out of sight. He walked down it uncomfortably. Several of the houses were boarded up and one or two had actually fallen down and the alleyway had a peculiar smell that he associated with footpaths and tu

“Pla

“Mr Hoskins,” said Dundridge.

“Try the Club,” said the woman. “He’s usually there this time of day. It’s on the first floor.”

“Thank you,” said Dundridge and went upstairs. On the first landing there was a door marked Worford and District Gladstone Club. Dundridge looked at it doubtfully and went on up. As the woman had said, the Regional Pla

“You looking for someone?” asked a large red-faced man who was standing beside a billiard table.

“I’m looking for Mr Hoskins, the Pla

“Then you’ve come to the right place,” he said. “Bob, there’s a bloke wants to see you.”

Another large red-faced man who was sitting at the bar in the corner turned round and stared at Dundridge. “What can I do for you?” he asked.

“I’m from the Ministry of the Environment,” said Dundridge.

“Christ,” said Mr Hoskins and got down from his bar stool. “You’re early aren’t you? Wasn’t expecting you till tomorrow.”

“The Minister is most anxious that I should get down to work as rapidly as possible.”

“Quite right,” said Mr Hoskins more cheerfully now that he could see that Dundridge wasn’t sixty, didn’t wear gold-rimmed glasses and didn’t carry an air of authority about him. “What will you have?”

Dundridge hesitated. It wasn’t his habit to drink in the middle of the afternoon. “A half of bitter,” he said finally.

“Make it two pints,” Hoskins told the barman. They took their glasses across to a small table in the corner and sat down. At the billiard table the men resumed their game.

“Awkward business this,” said Mr Hoskins, “I don’t envy you your job. Local feeling’s none too good.”

“So I’ve noticed,” said Dundridge sipping his beer. It tasted, as he had anticipated, both strong and unpleasantly organic. On the wall opposite a portrait of Mr Gladstone glared relentlessly down on this dereliction of the licensing laws. Spurred on by his example, Dundridge attempted to explain his mission. “The Minister is particularly anxious that the negotiations should be handled tactfully. He has sent me to see that the outcome of these negotiations has the backing of all the parties involved.”

“Has he?” said Mr Hoskins. “Well all I can say is that you’ll have your work cut out.”

“Now as I see it, the best approach would be to propose an alternative route,” Dundridge continued.

“We’ve done that already. Through Ottertown.”

“Out of the question,” said Dundridge.

“I couldn’t agree more,” said Mr Hoskins. “Which leaves the Cleene Gorge.”

“Or the hills to the south?” suggested Dundridge hopefully.

Mr Hoskins shook his head. “Cleene Forest is an area of natural beauty, a designated area. Not a hope in hell.”

“Well that doesn’t leave us with many alternatives, does it?”

“It doesn’t leave us with any,” said Mr Hoskins.

Dundridge drank some more beer. The mood of optimism with which he had started the day had quite left him. It was all very well to talk about negotiating but there didn’t seem any negotiations to conduct. He was faced with the uneviable task of enforcing a thoroughly unpopular decision on a group of extremely influential and hostile landowners. It was not a prospect he relished. “I don’t suppose there is any chance of persuading Sir Giles Lynchwood and General Burnett to drop their opposition,” he said without much hope.