The Ethical Assassin

We said nothing for a long time. She held my eyes and we gri

But then she was no longer holding my hands. She had her hands on my arms, and she was rubbing them back and forth. I took a step forward, and Chitra reached out and put her hands behind my neck and pulled me in for a kiss.

Her lips were soft and warm, and I could feel her breath swirling around in my mouth in little eddies. And then she pulled away again. And smiled.

I had sort of been hoping for something more passionate, more bodice ripping. On the other hand, I liked the slow sweetness of it.

“I’m glad you were the one who rescued me,” she said. “I would have hated to have to kiss Scott that way.”

“I’d have hated that, too. Listen, Chitra. You look really beautiful by the light of that Coke machine. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m wondering if we might go somewhere else a little more, you know, private.”

“Are you trying to get me to go back to your room?” she asked.

I let out a nervous laugh that even I thought sounded dorky. “So we can see Ro

“Do you want to go get a hamburger?”

“No,” I said. “I really don’t.”

“Me either. I’ll stop teasing you. You know, it’s amazing how you don’t notice the things all around you. You don’t imagine possibilities, even when those possibilities are right in front of your face.”

I stared at her. It sounded too damn much like something Melford would say. “Chitra, I really like you, but I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Her big eyes, dark and wide, locked on mine. “What I’m talking about is that rooms at this motel only cost thirty-nine dollars per night.”

I felt as though I’d been kicked in the stomach by the most pleasant foot on earth. I was scared, even terrified. I wanted to say no, to put on the brakes, but that was another form of cowardice, and I knew it.

“Really?” I said.

“I’m quite sure. There’s a big sign out front with the price.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know what you meant. I’d like to get a room with you. I don’t know what will happen in it, but I think I can trust you. I just want to get away from everyone and everything for a while, to talk in private, to have our own space. I know a motel room is suggestive, but I can trust that nothing will happen that I am not ready for. Can’t I?”

“Of course you can,” I told her, strangely relieved that I might not have to lose my virginity just yet. “You know,” I said, “if they find out, they’ll fire you.”

“I don’t want to come back. Not if you’re not going to be here anymore.”

This time the foot in the stomach was not quite so pleasant. I hadn’t told anyone about not pla

“Come on. I saw you getting out of your friend Melford’s car tonight. It’s clear you’re not even trying to sell anymore.”

“That’s pretty complicated,” I said.

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

“I want to, but I can’t right now.”

“Is everything okay? I mean, he’s not getting you involved in anything dangerous or reckless, is he?”

I didn’t want to lie to her directly, so I approached it obliquely. “Melford’s a complicated guy.”

“I notice you haven’t answered me. I still think there’s something strange about him.”

“There’s nothing that’s not strange about him. But my not selling isn’t really his doing. It’s mine. I don’t want to do this anymore. The money is good, but it’s not worth it.”

“I know what you mean. I made so much money last weekend that I hardly even noticed how miserable I was. But this weekend it feels more like a forced march. I was looking forward to seeing you again this weekend, and if you’re not going to be here, I think I would be miserable.”

I couldn’t believe I was hearing these sweet words. I felt unworthy. “I feel the same way,” I said. Stupidly, I thought.

She laughed a little. “My father will be happy to hear about this. We need the money, but he hates me doing door-to-door sales.”

“You think he’ll like me better than Teddy?”

“His name is Todd. And as long as you are neither Todd nor Pakistani, everything is negotiable.”

“Well, there’s two things going for me. So, let’s get a room,” I told her. “It’s on me.”

“A woman loves a big spender.”

We turned to head back to the stairs, and we both stopped in our tracks. Bobby was standing there, arms folded, eyes little slits of judgment.

“They told me you came this way.” Bobby was glaring at us. At me, really. His round face was red. His eyes were red, too, as though he’d been crying.

I opened my mouth to make some lame excuse, like we were just getting an orange soda. I decided to save it.

“The Gambler wants you in his room right now,” Bobby said.

There was something dark in his voice. It took me a moment to put my finger on it, but once I found it there was no mistake. It was more than anger. Rage.

“What for?”

“Just come along.”

I looked at Chitra. “I don’t know. I don’t want to leave Chitra alone. Ro

“No one likes a tattler,” Bobby told me.

“A tattler? You can’t tattle on attempted rape.”

Bobby seemed unmoved. But Chitra put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay. I’ll go down to the pool, make sure I stay with other people.”

“Don’t go anywhere alone.”

She smiled. “I won’t.”

Bobby sensed that our farewell had run its course, so he pushed me forward.

I watched Chitra descend the stairs, and only when I saw her get to the pool safely did I turn my attention back to Bobby.

“So what’s this all about?”

“Like you don’t know,” Bobby said.

“No, I don’t know. Tell me.” But it could only be about one thing, I figured. Bobby had said something to the Gambler about seeing me in his room, and the chain reaction led to my being dragged off there. My leg muscles stiffened, and I was within seconds of darting off, but then Bobby said something else.

He said: “Christ, you don’t deserve it, but I didn’t say anything to him about your being in his room. You fucked me over, but not enough for me to want to see you get your ass seriously messed up. He’d kill you if he found out.”

Okay, so this wasn’t about my being in his room. “I appreciate your not saying anything, but if the Gambler doesn’t know about that, then what is this about?”

“Come off it, Lem. You lied to me and you made me look bad. Maybe so bad that I won’t be able to keep my job.”

“What are you talking about? How did I lie to you?”

“Give it up. Isn’t it obvious that you’ve been found out?”

“Bobby, I have no idea what you mean.”

Bobby let out a sigh. “The reporter,” he said. He then looked at me with a kind of “I dropped the bomb on you, baby” smile.

“The reporter? What about the reporter?”

“The guy from The Miami Herald. He’s in the Gambler’s room.”

That sounded like bad news. Hick cop Jim Doe might be too stupid and too invested in his own crimes to figure out what the hell had happened with Bastard and Karen, but a reporter from The Miami Herald was something else entirely. But if I had reason to be afraid, I didn’t know why Bobby had reason to be angry.

“What does this have to do with me?”