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Ayla turned to look at Zelandoni to answer. "Creb was mog-ur of Bran's clan, the one who knew the spirit world, but he was more than just mog-ur. He was like you, Zelandoni, he was First, The Mog-ur of the whole Clan. But to me, Creb was… man of my hearth, though I wasn't born there, and the woman he lived with, Iza, was his sibling, not his mate. Creb never had mate."
"Who or what is the Clan?" Zelandoni asked. She noticed that Ayla's accent got thicker when she spoke of them.
"The Clan is… I was… adopted by the Clan. They are the ones who took me in when I was… alone. Creb and Iza took care of me, raised me. Iza was mother, only mother I remember. And she was medicine woman, healer. Iza was First, too, in a way. She was most respected of all medicine women, as her mother and her grandmother had been, all the way back in unbroken line to begi
"Is that where you learned your healing skills?" Zelandoni asked, leaning forward on the cushions.
"Yes. Iza taught me, even though I wasn't her true daughter, and didn't have her memories like Uba did. Uba was my sister. Not a true sibling, but still my sister."
"What happened to your real mother, your family, the people you were born to?" Zelandoni wanted to know. Everyone was curious, fascinated, but they let her ask the questions.
Ayla sat back and looked up, as though trying to find an answer. Then she looked at the large woman who was regarding her so intently. "I don't know. I don't remember. I was young, Iza guessed that I could count five years… although they didn't have counting words like Zelandonii. The Clan named the years begi
"You don't remember anything about your own people?" Zelandoni pressed.
"I only know what Iza told me. An earthquake had destroyed their cave, and Brun's clan was looking for a new one when she found me beside a river, unconscious. They had been without a home for some time, but Brun allowed her to take me with them. She said I must have been attacked by a cave lion because there were four claw marks on my leg, with the wide spacing of a cave lion, and they were… ru
"Yes, I understand," the donier said. "Festered, suppurant, perhaps to the stage of morbid corruption. Cat claws tend to do that."
"I still have the scars. That's how Creb knew the Cave Lion was my totem, even though it's usually a man's totem. I still dream sometimes of being in a small dark place and seeing a big cat claw coming," Ayla said.
"That's a powerful dream. Do you have any other dreams? About that time in your life, I mean?"
"One that's more frightening, but hard to explain. I never quite remember it. It's more a feeling, a feeling of an earthquake." The young woman shuddered. "I hate earthquakes!"
Zelandoni nodded knowingly. "Any others?"
"No… yes, but only once, when Jondalar was still recovering, and was teaching me to speak…"
Zelandoni thought that was a peculiar way to phrase it and glanced at Marthona to see if she had noted the odd expression.
"I understood some," Ayla said. "I had learned many words, but I was having trouble putting all together, then I dreamed of my mother, my real mother. I saw her face, and she spoke to me. The learning was easier after that."
"Ahhh… That's a very important dream," the One Who Served commented. "It's always important when the Mother comes to you in your dreams, whatever form She takes, but particularly when She takes the form of your own mother speaking to you from the next world."
Jondalar recalled a dream he had had of the Mother when they were still in Ayla's valley. A very strange dream. I should tell Zelandoni about it sometime, he thought.
"So, if you dreamed of the Mother, why didn't you appeal to her to help Thonolan find his way in the next world? I don't understand why you called upon the spirit of a cave bear and not the Great Earth Mother."
"I didn't know about the Great Earth Mother until Jondalar told me, after I learned your language."
"You didn't know about Doni, about the Great Earth Mother?" Folara asked with amazement. None of the Zelandonii had ever heard of anyone who did not recognize the Great Mother in some name or form. They were all mystified.
"The Clan honors Ursus, the Great Cave Bear," she said. "That's why I called on Ursus to help guide the spirit of the dead man-I didn't know his name then-even though he wasn't Clan. I did ask the Spirit of the Cave Lion to help, too, since he was my totem."
"Well, if you didn't know Her, then you did what you could, under the circumstances. I'm sure it helped," Zelandoni said, but she was more concerned than she showed. How could any of Her children not know the Mother?
"I have a totem, too," Willamar said. "Mine is the Golden Eagle." He sat up a little straighten "My mother told me that when I was an infant, an eagle picked me up and tried to carry me away, but she grabbed me and held on. I still show the scars. The zelandoni told her that the Golden Eagle spirit recognized me as one of his own kind. Not many people have personal totems, not among the Zelandonii, but if you have one, it is thought to be lucky."
"Well, you were lucky enough to get away," Joharran said.
"I guess I was lucky enough to get away from the cave lion that marked me," Ayla said, "and so was Jondalar. I think his totem is the Cave Lion, too. What do you think, Zelandoni?"
Ayla had been telling Jondalar that the Cave Lion spirit had chosen him ever since she could talk to him, but he had always avoided any comment about it. It seemed that individual totems weren't as important to his people as they were to the Clan, but it was important to her. She didn't want to take any chances.
The Clan believed that a man's totem had to be stronger than a woman's totem, for her to have children. That was why her strong male totem had upset Iza so. In spite of her powerful totem, Ayla did have a son, but there had been difficulties, begi
Something in Ayla's tone of voice caught Zelandoni's attention. She looked closely at the young woman. She wants Jondalar to have a Cave Lion totem, the woman realized, it is very important to her, this totem. Totem spirits must have greater significance to these Clan people who raised her. It probably is true that the Cave Lion is his totem now, and it won't hurt him if people think he's lucky. He probably is to have gotten back at all!
"I believe you're right, Ayla," the donier said. "Jondalar can claim the Cave Lion as his totem, and claim the luck. He was very lucky you were there when he needed you."
"I told you, Jondalar!" Ayla said, looking relieved.
Why does she or this Clan put so much importance on the Spirit of the Cave Lion? Or the Cave Bear? Zelandoni wondered. All the spirits are important, those of animals, even those of plants, or insects, everything, but it is the Great Mother who gave birth to them all. Who are these people? This Clan?