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“Huh,” I said. “Really?”
Damien gave me a stern look that clearly said you really should be a better student before he nodded, and in his best schoolteacher voice continued, “Yes. It is well documented that during the influx of Christianity into Europe, shrines to Gaea, as well as Nyx, were converted to shrines for Mary long before people converted to the new…”
Damien’s droning on and on was a soothing background as I peered into the tu
Okay, but that’s ridiculous! I told myself. It’s just a tu
The dark swallowed me.
My mind knew I was only a couple of feet from the root cellar and my friends. I could hear Damien blabbing about religion and the Goddess. But my mind wasn’t what was beating in terror against my chest. My heart, my spirit, my soul—whatever you want to call it—was screaming soundlessly for me to run! Get away! Go!
I felt the pressure of the earth as if it wasn’t a hole in the ground, but instead it had filled in, covering me… suff ocating me… trapping me.
My breath was coming faster and faster. I knew I must be hyperventilating, but I couldn’t stop myself. I wanted to back away from the hole that snaked away from my feet into the darkness, but all I could manage was a stumbled half step back. I couldn’t make my feet do what I was telling them to do! Dots of lights sparkled in my eyes, blinding me, while everything else started to go gray. Then I was falling… falling…
CHAPTER 5
Zoey
The darkness was unrelieved. Blinding more than my sight, it wiped away all of my senses. I thought I was gasping for breath and flailing around, trying to find something—anything I could touch, hear, or smell—anything that would give me a handhold on reality. But I had no sensation at all. The cocoon of darkness and the fluttering of my frantic heartbeat were all I knew.
Was I dead?
No, I didn’t think so. I remembered that I’d been in the tu
But I’d been afraid. I remembered being very afraid.
Then there had been nothing but this darkness.
What’s happened to me? Nyx! My mind screamed. Help me, Goddess! Please show me some kind of light!
“Listen with your soul…”
I thought I cried aloud at the sweet, reassuring sound of the Goddess’s voice in my mind, but when her words were gone, there was only the unrelenting silence and darkness.
How in the hell was I supposed to listen with my soul?
I tried to calm myself and hear something, but there was just silence—a soul-sucking, black, empty, utter silence like nothing I’d ever before experienced. I had no framework to guide me here, I only knew—
The realization struck me and my mind reeled with understanding.
I did have a framework to guide me. Part of me had experienced this darkness before.
I couldn’t see. I couldn’t feel. I couldn’t do anything but turn within myself, questing for the part of me that might be able to make sense of this, that might be able to guide me out of here.
Memory stirred again, this time taking me back long before the night in the tu
My senses returned slowly. I began to hear more than my own thoughts. There was a drumbeat that pulsed around me, and within it were woven the distant voices of women. The sense of smell returned to me, and I recognized the dank scent that reminded me of the abbey tu
Then he spoke.
“Oh, Goddess, no! Do not let this be!”
It was Kalona’s voice, and my immediate reaction was to cry out and struggle blindly away from him, but I wasn’t in charge of my body and the words that came from my mouth were not my own.
“Sssh, do not despair. I am with you, my love.”
“You trapped me!” Even as he cried the accusation, his arms tightened around me, and I recognized the cold passion of his immortal embrace.
“I saved you,” my strange voice responded as my body settled more intimately against his. “You were not meant to walk this world. That is why you have been so unhappy, so insatiable.”
“I had no choice! The mortals do not understand.”
My arms wrapped around his neck. My fingers twined through his soft, heavy hair. “I understand. Be at peace here with me. Lay down your sad restlessness. I will comfort you.”
I felt his surrender before he spoke the words. “Yes,” Kalona murmured. “I will bury my sadness within you and my desperate longing will finally be spent.”
“Yes, my love, my consort, my Warrior… yes…”
It was that moment that I lost myself within A-ya. I couldn’t tell where her desire ended and my soul began. If I still had a choice, I didn’t want it. I only knew that I was where I was destined to be—in Kalona’s arms.
His wings covered us, keeping the chill of his touch from burning me. His lips met mine. We explored each other slowly, thoroughly, with a sense of wonder and surrender. As our bodies began to move together I knew complete joy.
And then, suddenly, I started to dissolve.
“No!” The scream was wrenched from my throat and my soul. I didn’t want to leave! I wanted to stay with him. My place was with him!
But, again, I wasn’t in control, and I felt myself fading away, rejoining the earth, as A-ya sobbed, her broken voice echoed one word in my head: REMEMBER…
The slap burned against my cheek, and I sucked in a big breath that cleared the last of the darkness from my mind. I opened my eyes and the beam of the flashlight caused me to squint and blink. “I remember.” My voice sounded as rusty as my mind.
“You remember who you are, or should I smack you again?” Aphrodite said.
My mind was slow to function because it still screamed no at being wrenched from the darkness. I blinked again and shook my head, trying to clear it. “No!” I cried the word with so much emotion that Aphrodite automatically moved away from me.
“Fine,” she said. “You can thank me later.”
Sister Mary Angela took her place, bending over me and smoothing my hair back from my face, which was sweaty and cold. “Zoey, are you with us?”
“Yes,” I said in a broken voice.
“Zoey, what is it? What caused you to hyperventilate?” the nun asked.
“You’re not feeling sick, are you?” Erin’s voice was a little tremble-y.
“Not getting the urge to cough up a lung or anything?” Shaunee asked, looking as upset as her twin sounded.
Stevie Rae shoved the Twins aside so she could get close to me. “Talk to me, Z. Are you really okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m not dying or anything like that.” My thoughts had reordered themselves, though I couldn’t seem to shake off the last traces of the despair I’d known with A-ya. I understood my friends were scared that my body had begun rejecting the Change. Forcing myself to focus on the here and now I held my hand out to Stevie Rae. “Here, help me up. I’m better now.”