Myth-Fortunes

"Why, what they are."

"And what are they?"

"Pyramids!" Samwise a

"Pyramids?" I asked. "Are they buildings?"

"They are, my friend," Samwise said.

"Forget it," Aahz said, waving a hand. "I'm not getting involved in any pyramid schemes. Just because they're not illegal in some dimensions doesn't mean the legislation doesn't have a point. You've had half an hour of my valuable time. Enough. I've got other clients waiting. Take a walk."

"Mr. Aahz, please!" Samwise begged. "I admit I'd like you involved personally, because it's a product I truly believe in, but it's more than that. I need help. My people are suffering a lot of on-site accidents. Too many to be just bad luck. People are getting hurt. I have Cobra, but even he's getting overwhelmed by the claims. Someone or something is sabotaging my project."

Aahz raised an eyebrow. "Did you bribe the local officials?"

"Every one of them!"

"Trade unions?"

"It's a union project."

"You hire enough prominent politicians' nephews?" "Enough to hold a family reunion," Samwise assured him. "I can't figure out who's doing it. It's deliberate. It has to be. So many incidents couldn't occur just by chance. I don't believe in coincidence."

"That's the first thing you've said that I agree with," Aahz said. "What do you want from us?"

"Well, M.Y.T.H., Inc., is famous for figuring things out. That's what I need. I have to find the source of the trouble and put an end to it. It's interfering with construction. All I want to do is make people happy."

"By selling them a monument?"

Samwise shook his head. "They're more than monuments, Mr. Aahz. They're a part of future history!"

He reached into the i

"Scale model," he explained.

"What's that mean?" I asked curiously.

"For comparison," Aahz replied. "The model's in proportion to a single scale of a dragon that would approximate the size of the actual object."

"In this case, the dragon would be about sixteen miles long," Samwise explained.

I gulped at the notion. He set the scale model on Aahz's desk and held both hands over it. It started to glow. Suddenly I could see every detail.

"The stone you choose will be part of an edifice that will last throughout the ages! Each one is unique, one in a million.

In fact, each pyramid is made of a million and one stones! From the top you can see the whole Plain of Zyx. including the River Null, the only major waterway in the dimensions that flows backwards!" The image of the river gleamed brilliant blue with hot white twinkles of reflection from an unseen sun. At the opposite edge of the model lay a mighty mountain ridge the color of bread crust. In between those two features square-based shapes rising to points dotted the plain—pyramids. I felt dizzy as my sense of perspective zoomed from one to another. In the center of the plain, one edifice rose higher than all the others, a mountain made by living beings instead of by nature.

Aahz's eyes glittered like the river water.

"How many stones are on top of each pyramid?" Aahz asked.

"Just one," Samwise replied. "The most exclusive location is the most expensive, of course—but as a special added bonus for the buyer, you get to name the pyramid after yourself."

Aahz's eyebrows perked up again. "The whole thing?"

"The whole thing," Samwise said. "It's only right. It's the most expensive site on each pyramid, so I'm offering a perk to attract just the right buyer. Of course, we can't build the top until all the sites below it are sold. It's a great location, Mr. Aahz. It is absolutely peaceful—except for designated mourner sessions."

"Mourner sessions?" Aahz had a dreamy look on his face.

"Uh, Aahz," I began, "you told me never to get involved in a project at its outset. You said ..."

"Never mind, kid," he interrupted me. "What about mourners?"

Samwise was all business. "All part of the service. Every customer can decide what kind of moaning and wailing he wants, how much praise and how many accomplishments he wants attributed to him. And this is where the legacy I spoke of comes in: we have a team of scribes who will chisel the details of your great deeds so that they are never forgotten."

"Never?" Aahz asked. "Never's a long time."

"Absolutely never. When I say written in stone, I mean written in stone!"

"About how much would the peak stone cost?" Aahz inquired, aiming an idle talon at the centermost pyramid.

"Not a copper coin less than ten thousand."

Aahz pursed his lips. "Ten thousand copper?"

"You malign me, Mr. Aahz! Ten thousand gold pieces. But for a distinguished citizen like yourself, of course, all prices are negotiable. It is the most exclusive site available. I know such a co

Aahz grunted thoughtfully.

To my horror, Aahz looked like he was buying into the Imp's sales patter. I jumped up and put myself between them.

"Hold on, Samwise," I said. "You said there are problems here that are preventing you from building this pyramid at all."

"Right," Samwise said, with a peeved look at me. "That's why I need M.Y.T.H., Inc., to help me. Besides, I'm worried about cost overruns. What about it? Will you come to Ghordon and give me a hand?"

"Well ..." I could tell that Aahz was just waiting for a direct question like that. He shook his head. "We're not accountants. We don't do line item analysis."

"Just make sure I'm not being cheated blind by my staff," Samwise pleaded. "The main thing is to find the source of the sabotage and stop it. I'll make you a great deal on a stone."

"I don't buy a pig in a poke, buddy," Aahz said. "But I might take a look at a penthouse location, if you knock fifty percent off the price."

"Fifty!" Samwise yelped. "That's my whole profit margin!"

"If you don't stop the bleeding, you won't have any profits to marginalize," Aahz pointed out.

"Let's discuss it after you agree to take the job, Mr. Aahz. How about it?"

"Aahz, you always told me the ideal job was one in which you didn't have to do anything ..."

"Hold the phone, kid, I'm just listening to a proposal."

"It's just a rock, Aahz!"

"It's a legacy," Samwise insisted.

"A tomb!" I yelped. "You have to be dead to enjoy it."

"Not at all," Samwise interceded smoothly. "We guarantee total access for your enjoyment from now until one, er, takes up permanent residence. Some of our clients hold picnics on their site. It's always su

"See, kid?" Aahz said. "It's not just a one-time thing. Besides, all I agreed was that we'd take a look at the job. That's what Sam here came to ask."

I saw something in his eyes that I had seldom seen before: wistfulness. Whatever he felt he could get out of a piece of the rock wasn't something I could define.

"We have to run the deal past our president," I pointed out lamely. While we could take jobs as independent contractors, I still had a fu

Aahz waved a hand. "We'll let her know after we see the place, partner," he said.