Myth-Fortunes

The carriage swept up and over the pier and the And Company office, then came in for a landing at the foot of the pyramid. The entourage hastened to catch up. The musicians finished their marching tune with a flourish, and launched into a regal melody. At the top of the carriage, the queen rose and descended the steps.

"What a babe," Aahz murmured.

I peeked. The fine linen of her robes outlined a figure that, while slender, was furnished with plenty of the usual female attributes. Not only that, she walked with a sway that I couldn't take my eyes from.

From the rear of the structure came girls carrying fans and Ghords of both sexes wearing chains of office around their necks.

"Hail, in the name of all the Ghords of Ghordon, Eternal Ancestors Who Give Life and Light to All Creatures. Blessings upon Suzal, daughter of Geezer, she who is Pharaoh and Queen of Aegis from the Underworld to the Overheaven. All hail!"

"All hail!" echoed the Ghords around my feet.

Samwise dashed over the paving stones to be at the foot of the carriage before Queen Suzal got to the bottom. He threw himself to one knee and bowed his head. She touched his shoulder and he rose, talking with his usual animation. Suzal listened with a regal tilt of the head.

Samwise turned and beckoned enthusiastically for us to join him. We made our way to his side. Under the Pharaoh's eye, we bowed deeply.

"These are the ones I told you about, your majesty," Samwise said. "This is the Great Skeeve and, er, Aahz."

Aahz rose and bent over her hand like the practiced courtier he was.

"Hey, doll," he said.

"Hey, yourself," Suzal said, fluttering her eyelashes at him. "You have a noble face, sir, reminiscent of our scaly river Ghord, Sober, He Whom Rivers of Drink Do Not Affect."

"He and I have a lot in common," Aahz said, modestly. "I'm on my second barrel of the day. Would you . . . care to come around to the office and knock back a couple?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Her ministers were shocked, but Suzal looked pleased.

"You are too kind, Sober-faced one," Suzal said. "Perhaps another time I will be able to accept your hospitality. This is just a casual visit."

Casual? I glanced at her entourage: at least thirty dancing girls, twelve musicians, a pair of conjurors, and two files of courtiers in pleated linen and fancy striped headdresses.

My mouth dropped open when I spotted one of the courtiers. He stood at least two feet taller than the rest of the nobles. His body was covered in thick purple fur, and his two, large moon-shaped eyes were different sizes.

"Big Crunch!" I exclaimed.

"I beg your pardon?" Queen Suzal asked.

Behind her, Chumley cringed. The Troll hastily patted the air with both big palms. 'Big Crunch' was his nom de guerre as a monosyllabic enforcer in most other dimensions, but clearly not here. I immediately tempered my statement.

"I mean, your majesty, we're on a big crunch for time here, trying to get the pyramid done, but I'm very pleased to have the opportunity to meet you. Samwise here has been telling me what an honor it is that you have given him permission to build such an amazing structure. I am eager to see it finished."

"As am I, O great Skeeve," she said. She smiled at Samwise, who turned brilliant pink with pleasure. "He shows honor to me that had been heretofore withheld. I, too, would see it complete."

"Who would dare refuse to give you whatever you wanted, beautiful lady?" Aahz purred.

Suzal's long lashes flicked as she eyed him up and down, but her blue eyes flashed.

"Why, that ignoble wizard across the valley from here," she said, aiming her nose toward the eastern mountains.

"You mean Diksen?" I asked, puzzled.

"Speak not his name!" Suzal snarled. "I call him accursed. And selfish." Her lip quivered. Indignantly, she put her nose in the air. Like all of her features, it was unusually pretty. Chumley realized I was staring and cleared his throat audibly. I lowered my gaze.

"But I am very pleased to give you what you want, your majesty," Samwise said. "Everyone knows that this is the Queen Suzal Pyramid. When it is finished, it will be the wonder of Ghordon and, er, many other dimensions."

"When will it be done?"

I jumped. This unexpected question came from somewhere around my waist. I looked down.

Another official in striped headgear stood at the queen's side. He was only half her height. He peered up at the Imp. Samwise gestured impatiently.

"When it's done, Gurn, I have told you that a thousand times."

"And I will ask you a thousand more times, on behalf of my lady. She would like to see it finished long before she needs it. So . . . when will it be ready?"

I felt my stomach churn. Gurn had a face like a handful of squashed dung. No, that didn't come close to approximating the misshapen quality of his features. Each looked as if it had been designed by a sculptor with less than no talent and who had failed to communicate what he was doing to the others. I thought I was used to ugly. After all, I hung out with Pervects. But Gurn was something above and beyond the dictionary definition, a degree past where two drunken master magicians would have kept daring one another to go. It actually hurt to look at him. He leered at me.

"So you are on a big crunch to complete this enterprise, Klahd?" he asked. "Do you think it will be done in your lifetime?"

"If Samwise says it will, then it will," I stated boldly, not knowing whether or not it was true. The Imp had

been notably vague on his estimate of a completion date of this or any other pyramid in his plans.

"Her majesty is not accustomed to lies and half-measures."

"So, she doesn't have anything to do with politics at all?" Aahz asked i

"I don't deal with politicians, either, Pervert." "Per-vect!"

Gurn looked up at him and wiggled his hand back and forth. "Not so much. Do you have an answer for her majesty?"

"Do you, Sober-faced one?" Suzal asked. "My favored Imp here is coy with his answers. I would like to see my stone erected in as little time as it took that excrescence there to the east to be completed."

"And how long was that?" I asked, curiously.

"Five years and two days," said Gurn. "How about it?"

"Well, your majesty," Samwise said, fingering his collar and sweating more than the heat might account for, "my financing is of a cooperative nature. Diksen was able to pay for his entire bloc by himself. ..."

"Perhaps, majesty, you were not wise to give a license to an underfunded architect," Gurn said, his voice velvety with menace. "I see it—one day he will come crawling to you for alms to complete your own monument."

Aahz slapped him on the back and sent him staggering. "I can tell we're not go

"Sober-faced one, do not abuse my courtier," Suzal chided him in her soft voice.

"Looks like Mother Nature did the job for me, majesty," Aahz said. "But if that's what you want, who am I to refuse you?"

I stepped in. "I bet you'd like to see how the project is going, your majesty. May I escort you around the site?"

"You may," Suzal said. She lifted a finger, and two of the Sphinxes separated themselves from the others. They brought over a sedan chair with poles sticking out to either side. The queen stepped into it. The Sphinxes fluttered their wings, and the structure hovered three feet off the ground. Using a coil of magik, I pushed off from the ground and followed. To my dismay Gurn clambered onto the leg of the queen's mini-chair, scaled up, and made himself comfortable on her chair arm. I frowned at him. He leered at me, or perhaps that was just the way his face worked.

"You think I don't belong here, do you?" Gurn asked.