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17
CLAIRE
Days Later
Ugly Gift Day
It is the last day of the holiday celebrations. The poison clumps hung in the lodge are starting to wilt, and the decorations are looking tired, but everyone in the tribe has been having a wonderful time. I ca
Lila gestures at Rukh, who is holding a basket and looking as if it is going to bite him. His mate, Harlow, holds their baby and has a broad smile on her face. Lila indicates that Rukh should open, but he gestures back to her. They’re too far away for me to make out their hand signals, but I can guess what it is. Something like “Heck no.” He eyes the presents around the circle of tribesmates—a bag of terrible tea leaves, a stained tunic, a pair of leggings with one cuff sewn shut—and eventually trades his basket for the neatly wrapped stack of dung chips that Zolaya is holding. “Fuel,” he says, shoving his basket into Zolaya’s hands. Everyone roars with laughter, and Georgie is wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Zolaya pulls the lid off the basket, peers inside, and immediately makes a face. “Dirty loincloths!”
People crack up, Maddie signs it to Lila, who is waiting patiently, and then the sisters laugh, too. It’s cute. I love that everyone’s having so much fun. Even my Ereven is by the fire, waiting his turn. His basket has an egg in it—a good gift for a human, a terrible one for a sa-khui. He catches my gaze and smiles at me. I wave from afar, content to stand on the sidelines and let the others lead things. It’s been a long holiday event, and while it’s been a lot of fun and taken people’s minds off of the brutal season, I’m ready for a break. I don’t mind organizing, but I don’t like being the center of attention. Maddie has no such qualms and is hamming it up as the circle moves to the next person, Harlow. Maddie does sign language and talks at the same time so everyone can hear what she has to say, and she’s playing the role of a
“You are not playing?” A person comes and stands next to me at the far end of the longhouse.
I know the voice, and I turn and smile at Bek, rubbing a hand on my rounded belly. “No, I got the fun of setting everything up. I get to watch everyone else play. Plus, I don’t really feel the need for dirty loincloths or a shoe with no mate.” I smile, watching Farli hold up her shoe and offer it to Harlow.
“I have one last gift for you,” Bek says. “I know you do not want it, but it would honor me if you would choose to take it anyhow.” He extends a small, leather-wrapped package to me.
“Oh, Bek. Please don’t.” My smile becomes strained. “Truly. I don’t want any gifts.” I’m still thinking about our awkward conversation the other day, when he told me he missed me. I was hoping we’d landed at friendship, but him arriving with another gift while I’m by myself makes me worry. Has he not given up on me?
“It is for your kit. Take it.” He pushes it toward me.
My kit? Reluctantly, I take the package and untie the string. Inside the wrapping is a beautiful baby blanket, pure white and the perfect size for a half-human, half-sa-khui baby. The edges have been carefully stitched, and the entire thing is whisper-soft. “It’s lovely. Thank you.”
“I am happy for you and Ereven,” Bek says quietly. “I may not always show it, but all I have ever wanted is your happiness. You are a good person and you deserve happiness.”
I smile at him, but I’m troubled by his words, even after he moves away. It seems to be a recurring theme that I’ve heard a few times as the holidays rolled onward and Asha hasn’t been around. Everyone thinks I’m a saint because I’ve befriended her. Or that being friends with my ex will suddenly make me a better person.
It’s crap.
I must be frowning, because Ereven gets up from the gift-giving and comes to my side, standing where Bek was not a few moments ago. “What is it, my heart?”
“It’s nothing. Really. I’m just in a bad mood.”
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
I gesture at the group by the fire. “You’ll miss the last holiday event. Are you sure?”
“I would rather spend the time with my mate.” He smiles at me and offers me his arm, something he has learned after a discussion of human courtship rituals.
I link my elbow in his and show him the blanket. “Bek gave us a present for our kit.”
“That is kind of him. He is a good male.”
There is that ‘good’ word again. Why does someone have to be good or bad? Why can’t they just ‘be’? I frown as we leave and head down the main street in Croatoan. The laughter in the longhouse trails after us, at odds with my thoughts. Asha has missed all of this, and I wanted her to get some of the credit for all of the work we put in. Instead, everyone seems to think I did it all by myself and somehow ‘took on’ the burden of Asha to boot.
“You are very unhappy,” Ereven says, wonderingly. “What is causing my sweet Claire to glower so?”
“Just something Bek mentioned.” I bite it back, but it keeps gnawing at me. “The tribe keeps going on and on about how I’m being such a good friend to Asha and taking the time to befriend her, and it bothers me. They act like it’s such a big chore to be her friend, but Asha’s never been anything but helpful and kind to me.”
“To you,” my mate agrees. “Do not forget that she has been unpleasant to many of the other human females since they arrived. They are allowed to feel differently about her.”
He’s not wrong, but it feels disloyal to even think it. “It’s just that…she worked hard on the holiday celebrations, too, and she hasn’t been here to see any of them. She hasn’t gotten any of the credit, and she hasn’t gotten to see any of the fun.”
“If she resonated to Hemalo again, I imagine they are having their own kind of fun,” Ereven teases.
“Ha ha,” I say glumly. “I just worry about her. They’ve been gone a while.”
“You want everyone to see her for the person she is, not the person she has been,” Ereven says, pausing to brush a lock of hair off my face. “You have a kind heart, my Claire.”
“Oh stop—”
“You can have a kind heart and it does not mean that Asha was difficult to befriend. They can be two separate things.” He taps my cheek with a finger. “It does not mean anything at all, except that perhaps your example showed people that they should have tried harder to pull Asha from her shell. They are grateful, because not only did they have a good holiday, but they will have an old tribesmate back. Asha is more like herself now than ever, and you are a big part of that.”
“I guess.” I still think Asha is the only one to take the credit for Asha’s recovery, but any way you look at it, I’m glad the tribe no longer tiptoes around the whole ‘Asha’ topic. Everyone does seem to be excited for her and Hemalo to come back. “I’m just a worrywart.”
“I do not know what that is.”
“It means I won’t be happy without someone or something to fuss over,” I tell him, squeezing his arm tight as we walk. “You might get the brunt of it for the next few days.”
“I will gladly take the brunt of your attentions,” Ereven says, and he makes it sound filthy and fu
I stop in my tracks, my jaw dropping. “You didn’t!”
His eyes twinkle with devilish delight. “I did.”
“But, Ereven, babe, we talked about this! We said we weren’t doing gifts.”
He leans in and touches his nose to mine. “I lied, my Claire.”
“Oooh, you’re the worst.”
“Do you want to see it?”
“Well, I’m curious now,” I grumble, but I can’t stop smiling. I’ll have to make it up to him…in a lot of different ways. He’s going to be in for a few sexy surprises over the next few weeks, I think. What a sweet man. I have no idea why Bek’s presents feel awkward but I’m tickled at Ereven’s thoughtfulness. I suppose because I know Ereven’s heart, and Bek is still a mystery to me.
Ereven is gri
“Many, many hours,” he says. “Many hours imagining your smile when you see it.”
“It’s so much work,” I tell him, awed. The crib is put together with dozens of bones, and each one is smoothed out and carved to perfection. “But how—”
“Bek helped me.”
I turn to him, shocked. “He did?”
He nods. “He wanted me to know there were no hard feelings. He wishes to be your friend again—and mine. I think he has finally moved on.”
His expression is tentative as he looks at the crib and then back at me. “Do you like it?”
I turn and fling my arms around his neck. “I love it!” I press a kiss to his face. “And I love you. So much.”
As I move to the side of the crib and run my hand over the smooth railing along one side, I think about all the gifts I’ve been given—every single one unasked for. Maybe I’ve been interpreting the giving spirit wrong. All I’ve wanted to do with organizing the holiday was bring a little bit of joy to the monotony of the brutal season and to make people smile. To give them something to look forward to.
Maybe that’s all Bek wanted to do for me. Make me smile. Give me something to look forward to. He helped my Ereven make me a crib, wanting nothing more than to brighten my day.
It’s the thought that counts, and I feel like I have the most thoughtful mate—and the most thoughtful friend in Bek—out there.
I can’t wait to show this to Asha.