Judge & Jury

Chapter 26

HE HELD UP his FBI shield for her to see."I'm sorry to surprise you, Ms. DeGrasse. May I come in? It's important."

Andie opened the door. The FBI guy was dressed nicely, in an olive raincoat over a brown sports jacket, with a deep-blue shirt and a tie. Her mind flashed to how she must look-in a bright-pink DKNY sweatshirt, with a towel draped over her shoulder."I wasn't expecting anyone."

"We're sorry to bust in on you like this. I'm Nicholas Pellisante. I'm a special agent in charge of the FBI's Organized Crime Unit. I'm heading up the Cavello investigation."

"I've seen you in court," Andie said. Then, warily,"Isn't there some kind of rule that we're not supposed to be talking to each other?"

"Under normal circumstances, yes." The FBI guy nodded.

"Normal circumstances? I'm not following you. What's happening?"

"The trial procedures are being changed. As a matter of safety, the judge feels-and I agree-it may be prudent for the members of the jury to be removed from their daily lives."

"Our daily lives?" Andie blinked. What did that mean? She ran a hand through her messy hair.

"The judge would like the jury sequestered. I don't want you to be alarmed. There's no specific threat. It's just for your protection."

"Myprotection? "

"Yours and your son's," the agent said.

Now Andiewas alarmed."You're saying there have been threats?" Her mind flashed to the windshield of her car."This is about what happened the other night."

"I'm not saying that," the agent said."There's an officer outside who can assist you."

"Assist us with what, Agent Pellisante?" A tremor galloped down her spine."I have a nine-year-old in here. What do I do with him while I'm being protected? Pack him off to boarding school?"

"Look, I know how this sounds, and I know how short notice it is. We'll make provisions that you get to see your son regularly, for the balance of the trial."

"The balance of the trial!" Suddenly the magnitude of this smacked Andie face-on."We're only in the first week. This isn't exactly what I signed up for, Agent Pellisante."

The FBI guy looked sympathetic, but also helpless to do anything."I'm afraid it's not a matter of choice."

Her blood was pulsing. She could have gotten off this trial just the other day."When?" Andie looked up at him. Then she realized what he had meant by theofficer waiting outside.

"I'm afraid, right now. What I have to ask you to do now is to go pack some things."

"You're kidding!" Andie stared at him, glassy-eyed."My son's in bed in the other room. What am I supposed to do with him? This is crazy."

"Is there someone who can take him for tonight? Somebody nearby?"

"I have a sister in Queens. It's after ten o'clock. What do you want me to do, put him in a cab?"

"You can bring him along," the FBI guy finally said."Just for this evening, though. You'll have to make provisions for him tomorrow."

"Bring him along." Andie smirked sardonically.“Where?"

"I can't tell you that, Ms. DeGrasse. Not far. And you will be able to see him from time to time. I promise you that."

"You're serious." Andie ran a hand through her hair again.

At that moment, she saw Jarrod standing in the hall in his pj's."What's goin' on, Mom?"

Andie went to him and put an arm around his shoulders."This man is from the trial. He's with the FBI. He's telling me we have to leave. We have to go someplace. Now. Tonight."

"Why?" Jarrod asked, not understanding."Tonight? Where?"

The FBI guy kneeled down."We have to do this in order to let your mom do a brave thing. You'd want her to do that, wouldn't you? You'd do something brave, wouldn't you, to protect your mom?"

"Yeah." Jarrod nodded."Sure I would."

"Good." He squeezed the boy's shoulder."I'm Nick. What's your name?"

"Jarrod."

"It won't be so bad." He smiled. He winked back at Andie."You ever ridden in a police car, Jarrod?"

Chapter 27

WHEN I FINALLY MADE IT home, it was after two.

It wasn't easy rousting people out of their homes late at night, scaring the living shit out of them, being unable to level with them. The jurors were all taken in unmarked cars to a motel across the Holland Tu

I was exhausted, and I felt like crap for disrupting their lives. But as I turned the key to my apartment at that predawn hour I knewI'd sleep a whole lot sounder for having done it, having moved them.

Stepping into the apartment, I was surprised to find the lights on. At first I figured Ellen was on call.What else was new?

Then, Popeye didn't come to greet me like he always did. And he wasn't on the couch where he usually slept.

Something was wrong, wasn't it?

It took a second. Then I flashed to the threat Cavello had made against me in the courtroom earlier. I drew my gun.

Holy shit! Jesus, no. I started toward the bedroom."Ellen! Are you in there? Ellen?"

The hall closet was wide open, and I noticed a few coats were missing.Hers. And two suitcases that we usually had stuffed on the top shelf were gone, too. A couple of photos were missing from the console. Her family and stuff.

"Ellen!"

The bedroom lights were on, shining brightly and hard on my eyes. The bed hadn't been slept in. A tray of her scents and body sprays had been cleared out too.

I had this sinking, helpless feeling, like everything was spiraling out of control. I couldn't believe this was happening."Ellen… Ellen?" I called for her again.

Then I spotted a note on the bed, on my pillow. It was written on her medical stationery.

My heart sank as I read the first line.

My big, strong Nick. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to write…

Chapter 28

I SAT DOWN on the edge of the bed, the pillows arranged the way she always liked them, her scent still hanging in the air.

I know this will hurt you. But I just need to be on my own for a while. We both know what was great about each other just isn't there much right now.

Hopefully, this will make you smile: I promise, there isn't anyone else, just this aching feeling that we're not giving each other what we want or need. And right now, I think I need to look into myself awhile and find out what it is I want someone to give me. You are the best, Nick. You are smart and reliable, and sensitive and strong. You're such a good man. And you know what else you're the best at-I don't have to elaborate!!!

You will make some girl a loving partner in life. I'm just not sure it's me. I need this space, Nick. We both need it! If we're honest, as we've always been with each other.

So please don't call me for a day or two. Don't ask me to come back (if you even want me to). Don't look for me. Don't be the cop, Nicky. I need the strength to do this. I'm at a friend's. Popeye is with me. He's already told me I'm a stupid jerk. (You're always the stud, Nick, even with the guys!)

I do truly love you, Nick. Who wouldn't?

I put down the note. There was a PS. Okay, I lied just a little. Taking the medical boards was harder.

I picked up a photo of us on my night table taken up in Vermont, skiing.Goddamnit, Ellen, we could have worked it out. We could have talked at least.

I made a move for the phone. I went to dial her cell; then I caught myself and stopped midnumber.

She was right. Lay off, Nick. Give her what she asked for. We both knew it.What was great about each other just isn't there much right now…

I took off my tie and tossed my jacket on the bed. Then I just leaned back on the pillow and closed my eyes.