Dead Ringer

It made Be

“I know you care about your client, your friend, but you are too busy to get involved. You have a business to sell.” Sam ate a forkful of moist salmon. “Besides, you have Alice to worry about. I was thinking you should call a security agency. I’ll spring for it. I want you to hire a bodyguard.”

“Don’t need one.” Be

“Because you think you’re invincible and you’re stubborn as a mule?”

“No, because I have one already.”

“You’re kidding.” Sam stopped chasing ski

“I didn’t. He’s free.”

“Oh, please.” Sam zeroed in on a string bean, a

“It’s true. Look.” Be

“No.” Sam squinted. “Everybody out there has on a Sixers cap. It isn’t a Ralph Lauren kind of town.”

“The real tall man, near the subway stop. He’s reading a paper.”

Sam’s eyes found David, Be

“That’s David, my undercover bodyguard.”

“You’re shitting me.”

“I shit you not.” Be

Sam couldn’t tear his eyes from David. “What’s his name? David what?”

“Holland.”

“I like it. Holland. Mrs. Sam Holland. How’s it sound? Wow, I’m a country!” Sam was getting carried away. “I hear Vermont is very nice this time of year. Does he like lawyers?”

“No.”

“Who does? I’ll quit. Who needs it anyway? I’ll work for Ben and Jerry’s. I can be his Chubby Hubby.”

“Sam, relax. He’s kind of macho.”

“Macho works for me. I can be macho. I have a cowboy hat I got in Steamboat. It has a silver medallion in the front and a feather in the hatband. Turquoise, with a hint of sie

Be

“I’ll douse them with lighter fluid and set them afire. Isn’t that macho?” Sam turned away from the window momentarily. “So how’d you find him, and more important, will he come over to the dark side?”

“You mean is he gay?” Be

“He doesn’t have to be gay. He could just have gay potential. Can he spell ‘gay’? We’ll bend the rules in his case. We need to recruit men like him. Manly men.” Sam grunted, and Be

“He’s a SEAL.”

“I can swim. I can bark, too. Tell me about him. Everything. Tell me, tell me, tell me.” Sam leaned over in high-dish mode, and Be

“I know, that’s why I need David,” she said as the waiter came over. He sca

“No problem,” answered the waiter, clearing the plates and arranging them miraculously along the length of his arm. If he noticed that she’d purloined the steak knife, he’d been taught not to say so. “Coffee?”

“Sure,” Be

“You don’t really know who David is, and he follows you everywhere.”

“Sure I know who he is. I told you what I know.”

“That’s not very much. He’s just a random guy, and you’re supposed to tell him everything you do. Why did he quit the SEALs?”

“He didn’t quit, he-”

“What did he do before that? When did he graduate from the Naval Academy? And above all, why would he do this for you? Are you sleeping with him?”

“No!” Be

“But you’re thinking about it.”

“So are you,” Be

“You’re letting a stranger protect you.”

“He saved Bear’s life, and he risked his own to do it. He’s a Good Samaritan.” Be

“No. You been watching Oprah again?” Sam’s eyes narrowed as a busboy materialized, put two empty coffee cups in front of them, and poured coffee with his other hand. He didn’t have a name on his white jacket, which didn’t look as surgical as the waiter’s.

Be

“No, I don’t work di

“No dessert for me, thanks,” Be

“Is this where you pretend you’re going to the bathroom, but you take a detour on the way to the front desk?”

Be

“I’ll order the key lime pie and enjoy the view.” Sam looked crankily out the window at David, then back at Be

But Be

She had to conduct the cross-examination du jour.

24

Sir, may I speak to you a minute?” Be

“Steingard party, we’ll be right with you. Just five minutes.” The maitre d’ snapped his head to the left, then smoothed his hair back into its moussed helmet. “Ms. Pecora, Lorraine Pecora, please, it’s only five minutes, I promise. Mr. Kranyak, Joe Kranyak, your table is ready. Please follow James, right over there.”

“Sir, please!” Be

“Do you have a reservation?” The maitre d’ looked at her with a pat smile.

“No, I mean, yes, I’ve already eaten. I was just wondering, were you on duty last night for di

“Yes, I was.” The maitre d’s attention was immediately distracted by a man behind her. “Mr. Toomey, how wonderful to see you again. And how is your lovely wife? Recuperating, I hope?”