Dead Ringer

“Nice to meet you, also,” St. Amien said, smiling in a well-ma

“Robert! Great! Have a bagel and a schmear! Meet the gang!” Linette looped his hand around St. Amien’s back, scooped him up, and steered him into the room. “You know Herm Mayer, right?”

Be

“Pleased to meet you,” Mayer said, shaking Be

“I am.”

“Then we shall be seeing quite a lot of each other. Robert and I are for many years in this business. We were both greatly wronged by these actions of the trade association.”

“Trade associations sometimes get out of line, and they need a reminder now and then,” Be

“Bill feels very optimistic about our chances of an early settlement, perhaps this month, in the neighborhood of fifty million. My wife, who is my adviser in all things, disagrees with him. But she is unfortunately in Germany. We make our home in Osnabrück.”

“I see.”

“She prefers it, and I can commute easily, twice a month.” Mayer’s eyes narrowed and his tone lowered. He inclined his head toward Be

“If I agree? With Bill or your wife?” Be

“You aren’t sure you agree,” Mayer said matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t say that.” Be

“I quite understand,” Mayer said, an edge to his tone. If he wanted dirt, he wasn’t getting it. He straightened up, and Be

“It was great meeting you, Herman,” she said, excusing herself, and made her way to the head of the table. Lawyers jumped for the seats as if they were playing musical chairs, and St. Amien was signaling her to the empty seat next to him. She wedged her way over, checking her cell phone on the fly. No message.

“Thanks, Bob,” she whispered, leaning over, and he smiled in response as Linette stood up, towering over the head of the table.

“Friends, Romans, Irishmen,” he began, and everybody around the table laughed heartily as they settled down and pulled shiny pens and fresh legal pads from their briefcases.

Be

“This is the first day of the rest of your litigation,” Linette continued, pausing for laughter, “and I hope we will finish it by the end of this month!” He beamed with pride and burst into sudden applause. Everybody around the table clapped, too, and Be

“Last week we filed a complaint in federal district court, and you are being provided with a copy right now.” He gestured to a male associate who had materialized from behind the lox and was distributing copies around the table. “It states, in relevant part, that as a class we are a hundred strong-and growing!”

More applause.

“That we are all brothers-and sisters-here, and we all share common questions of law and fact.”

Applause again.

“And that this action can and should be maintained as a class, and that my client is fully ready, willing, and able to represent the class as a whole.”

Applause, except for St. Amien and Be

“Friends, I know we haven’t officially determined the class representative so soon,” Linette said, pointedly looking at Be

Heads nodded around the table, since everybody’s hands were tired from applauding.

“And we will establish a timetable for this litigation, which, as you know, will be managed more efficiently than most small countries.” Linette paused for laughter. “We need a government, and, as usual, at the head will be lead counsel and an executive committee. Reporting to them, as always, will be the briefing committee, the motions committee, the discovery committee, the experts committee…”

Be

“… the exhibits committee, the damages committee, the fees committee, and although we won’t need it, the appellate committee. We will work together to divide and conquer. That’s the best way I know to assure a swift, certain, and very healthy settlement.”

More heads nodding. From across the table, Quinones interjected, “It worked like a charm in Bronson Mechanics.”

Next to him, Brenstein added, “Also Anderson-Wells. The proverbial well-oiled machine.”

Be