The Final Warning

Fortunately, the person we rescued didn’t make it. So I’m guessing her reports have slowed way down. In the meantime, whoever’s out there pla

I’ll go ahead and tell you: We’re in Antarctica. We’re here checking out the signs of global warming. Global warming maysound comfy- no more winter coats- but everything on earth right now kind of desperately relies on the climate stayingas is. But if we give up our childish fears of catastrophic flooding, earthquakes, tsunamis, untold plant and animal extinctions, droughts, famines, and whatnot, we could just relax right now and let ’errip!

However. For those of us who prefer the planet relativelyundisastered, it seems clear that things have to change. I mean, wehumans have to change our habits, our recklessness, our dependence on fossil fuels and beef.

Any questions?

Ali,Ju-Ju, Ariel, and Robin Bernstein from Palm Beach write:

Wassupup with no beef? No hamburgers?

Well, Ali,Ju-Ju, Ariel, and Robin Bernstein, Good thing you asked. For myself, I’m totally about the burgers. And steak. Shish kebabs. Stew. You name it, if it’s cow, it’s for me.

But this incredibly cool scientist I know, Dr.Brigid Dwyer, told me that livestock is causing more damage to the earth’s climate than cars. All the cars. For one thing, cattle “release” more methane and other greenhouse gases than even the Gasman, which is saying something. Plus, cattle eat about fourteen pounds of grain to produce one pound of meat. Which is energy efficiency in reverse. Not to mention the deforestation for their grazing land, the water they consume. It all adds up hugely. Makesya think, huh?

– Fang

BitterGummyfrom Honshu writes:

Get offur soapbox, man! When I want a lecture, I’ll go 2 school!

Sounds like you need it,BitterGummy. Try to stay awake this time.

– Fang

MinkyPuddinfrom Sydney writes:

Fang I miss uguyz so much. U haven’t bin in thenewz lately. I am all worried.

Your #1 fan.

No worries,MinkyPuddin. We’re fine. More fine than we’ve been in a long time, actually.

– Fang

Shy Babe from Seattle writes:

Dear Fang, I wrote u last month. Do u have a girlfriend?

I recommend you stick to your own species, Shy Babe. Thanks anyway.

– Fang

Okay, guys,gotta go. Global disaster to document, scientists to talk to. And it’s di

– Fang

46

“WHERE ARE WE GOING?” Nudge asked as we took off into the clear, crisp air.

“Just getting an overview of the area,” I explained. “A little recon. See what’s out here.” Since Sue-A

Fang was silent, flying a bit off by himself. I angled my left wing slightly and swooped closer to him. Things between us were still weird. I missed the old days, when our relationship was simple: each of us totally dedicated to constantly one-upping the other. That, I could understand.

“So I guess we can assume that Sue-A

He nodded. “Brigid’strying to hack into her computer for more info.”

There was that name again. “Nudge should do it,” I said, trying not to show irritation.

“Yeah- ifBrigid can’t get in, we’ll have Nudge take a whack at it,” he agreed.

“Can we go over the islands?”Gazzy called to me. “There’s a volcano in the middle of one! In fact, the whole island is the volcano.”

“Sure.” We arced smoothly in a huge circle to the left, heading away from the enormous continent of ice. It felt great to stretch my wings and suck in the cold, cold air.

“I can’t see anything,”Iggy said, sounding depressed.

“Maybe I could ride with Fang?” Total suggested, squirming nervously inIggy’s arms.

“I can stillfly, ”Iggy said irritably. “I can stillnavigate. ”

“Oh, so cool!”Gazzy shouted, pointing.

We’d left the peninsula behind and now were over an island shaped like a raggedy Cheerio with a tiny slit in one side. We began a long series of descending loops toward the island. We all kept our eyes open but saw no one else around.

“That water in the middle is where the volcano blew up,”Gazzy explained.

We got closer and closer. It seemed about as safe as any place could be.

“Thermal!” I said, feeling myself pass through a column of heavier, warmer air. It felt incredible, a pocket of warmth in the middle of the frigid air around us.

“Something’s bubbling below,” Angel said, looking down.

“Let’s check it out,” I said in myleaderly way.

We went lower, not seeing anyone else, and then landed on a moonscape of fine gray grit, small stones, a bunch of signs, and, oddly, a field covered with what looked like broken wooden barrels. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen before.

And soon it could all be gone.

So, you’re back,I thought to the Voice.Glad you could join us. Okay, maybe not glad, exactly-

Pay attention, Max, said the Voice.Memorize what you’re seeing. This place might not be here much longer.

So I guessed the Voice was on board with the whole global warming thing. I said, “Watch where you step, guys. Don’t get scorched by a geyser or anything.”

“There aren’t any geysers here,” said Nudge. “But steam is boiling up through the water.”

“There’s been a lot of people here,” said Fang. He stood in front of one of the many signs, in about eight languages, that warned us to be careful, to watch where we stepped, to not destroy any lichen or moss, to not litter, and so on. It was a protected spot, overseen by “the Deception Island Management Group.”

“Deception Island,” I said, smiling. “What a cool name. It sounds like where we should live.” I looked around at the surreal, unearthly place. “If we wanted to live in a barren wasteland.”

“’S not barren,” said Angel.

Nudge began pulling off her boots.

“What are you doing?”

She pointed to the edge of the water, where steam was misting heavily upward. “Hot bath! Those dinky little showers back at the stationain’t cutting it.”

“Look,” said Angel, pointing upward. I heard them before I saw them: a flock of really big birds, coming off a cliff about a quarter-mile away.

“What are they?” I asked.

“Wandering albatrosses,” said Nudge, who had now shucked her coat and scarf and was peeling down to her underwear. “Sailors used to think they held the souls of dead sailors. Oh, my God, this water feels fantastic!” She sank down slowly, seeming to almost disappear into the mist.

“Be careful,” I said. “The water might suddenly turn boiling or something.”

“I’m going in too,” said Total, trotting over to the water.

The albatrosses wheeled overhead. The biggest ones had wingspans bigger than Angel’s- maybe nine feet across. They were amazing. They hardly ever flapped their wings- just glided on the rising currents of warm air. Because our body-weight-to-wingspan ratio was so much greater, we probably couldn’t pull that off.

“Oh, my God!” Nudge said again, sounding alarmed.

I whipped my head around and hurried toward her. “What?” Behind me, Fang was examining the sky, the sea, the land, for approaching threats. I skidded to a halt at the water’s edge, scattering grit and tiny pebbles. “What’s wrong?”

Nudge pointed at Total. He was up to his nose in the warm water, looking more cheerful than I’d seen him in a long time. His black fur was wet and slicked down against his sides. I peered at what Nudge was pointing at.