Faithless

Sara was aware that as usual her father had not bothered to acknowledge Jeffrey’s presence. She said, “Daddy?”

“Huh?” he grumbled.

“I wanted to tell you…” She waited for him to look up. “Jeffrey and I are living together.”

“No shit,” Eddie said, returning to the tire.

“We’re thinking of getting another dog.”

“Congratulations,” he answered, his tone far from celebratory.

“And getting married,” she added.

The toothbrush paused, and beside her, Jeffrey actually gasped.

Eddie brushed at a speck of tar with the toothbrush. He looked up at Sara, then at Jeffrey. “Here,” he said, holding the toothbrush out to Jeffrey. “If you’re going to be part of this family again, you’ve got to take your share of responsibilities.”

Sara took Billy’s leash from Jeffrey so that he could take off his jacket. He handed it to her, saying, “Thanks.”

She gave him her sweetest smile. “My pleasure.”

Jeffrey took the brush and knelt beside her father, going at the spokes in earnest.

This obviously wasn’t good enough for Eddie. He instructed, “Put some elbow grease into it. My girls can do a better job than that.”

Sara put her hand to her mouth so that they wouldn’t see her smile.

She left them alone to either bond or kill each other, tying the dogs’ leashes around the railing on the front porch. Inside, there was a burst of laughter from the kitchen, and Sara walked down the hall, thinking that it felt like years had passed instead of six days since the last time she had made this trip.

Cathy and Bella were almost in the exact place as before, Bella sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper, Cathy working at the stove.

“What’s going on?” Sara asked, kissing her mother’s cheek as she stole a piece of bacon off the plate.

“I’m leaving,” Bella told her. “This is my farewell breakfast.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sara answered. “I feel like I haven’t even seen you.”

“Because you haven’t,” Bella pointed out. She waved off Sara’s apology. “You’ve been tied up with your work stuff.”

“Where are you going to go?”

“ Atlanta,” Bella said, then gave her a wink. “Take a long nap before you come see me.”

Sara rolled her eyes.

“I mean it, sugar,” Bella told her. “Come see me.”

“I might be a little busy for a while,” Sara began, not quite knowing how to deliver her news. She felt a foolish grin on her lips as she waited for their undivided attention.

“What is it?” her mother asked.

“I’ve decided to marry Jeffrey.”

Cathy turned back to the stove, saying, “Well, that took long enough. It’s a wonder he still wants you.”

“Thanks a lot,” Sara answered, wondering why she even bothered.

“Don’t mind your mama, darling,” Bella said, rising from the table. She hugged Sara hard, saying, “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Sara responded in a pointed tone, mostly for her mother’s benefit. Cathy seemed oblivious.

Bella folded the paper and tucked it under her arm. “I’ll leave y’all to talk,” she told them. “Don’t say anything bad about me unless I can hear it.”

Sara watched her mother’s back, wondering why she wasn’t speaking. Finally, Sara couldn’t stand the silence, and said, “I thought you’d be happy for me.”

“I’m happy for Jeffrey,” Cathy told her. “You took your own damn sweet time.”

Sara folded Jeffrey’s jacket over the back of Bella’s chair and sat down. She was ready for a lecture on her own failings, so she was surprised at Cathy’s next words.

“Bella told me you went to that church with your sister.”

Sara wondered what else her aunt had told her mother. “Yes, ma’am.”

“You met Thomas Ward?”

“Yes,” Sara repeated, dropping the ma’am. “He seems like a very nice man.”

Cathy tapped her fork on the side of the skillet before turning around. She folded her arms over her chest. “Do you have a question to ask me, or would you rather take the cowardly route and filter it through your aunt Bella again?”

Sara felt a flush work its way up her neck to her face. She hadn’t thought it through at the time, but her mother was right. Sara had mentioned her fears to Bella because she knew her aunt would take it back to her mother.

She took a breath, screwing up her courage. “Was he the one?”

“Yes.”

“Lev is…” Sara searched for the words, wishing she could do this through her aunt Bella. Her mother’s eyes pierced her like needles. “Lev has red hair.”

“Are you a doctor?” Cathy asked sharply.

“Well, ye-”

“Did you go to medical school?”

“Yes.”

“Then you should know something about genetics.” Cathy was angrier than Sara had seen her mother in a long time. “Did you even stop to think how your father would feel if he thought you thought even for a minute-” She stopped, obviously trying to control her fury. “I told you at the time, Sara. I told you it was purely emotional. It was never physical.”

“I know.”

“Have I ever lied to you in my life?”

“No, Mama.”

“It would break your father’s heart if he knew…” She had been pointing her finger at Sara, but she dropped her hand. “Sometimes I wonder if you have a brain in your head.” She turned back around to the stove, picking up the fork.

Sara took the rebuff as well as she could, keenly aware that her mother had not really answered her question. Unable to stop herself, she repeated, “Lev has red hair.”

Cathy dropped the fork, turning back around. “So did his mother, you idiot!”

Tessa entered the kitchen, a thick book in her hands. “Whose mother?”

Cathy reined herself in. “Never you mind.”

“Are you making pancakes?” Tessa asked, dropping the book on the table. Sara read the title: The Complete Works of Dylan Thomas.

“No,” Cathy mocked. “I’m turning water into wine.”

Tessa shot a look at Sara. Sara shrugged, as if she wasn’t the cause of her mother’s fury.

“Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes,” Cathy informed them. “Set the table.”

Tessa stood in place. “I actually had plans this morning.”

“Plans to do what?” Cathy asked.

“I told Lev I’d come by the church,” she said, and Sara bit her tongue not to say anything.

Tessa saw the effort and defended, “This is a hard time for all of them.”

Sara nodded, but Cathy’s back was straight as an arrow, her disapproval as obvious as a flashing light.

Tessa tried to tread carefully. “They’re not all bad people just because of what Paul did.”

“I didn’t say they were.” Cathy provided, “Thomas Ward is one of the most upstanding men I have ever met.” She glared at Sara, daring her to say something.

Tessa apologized, “I’m sorry I’m not going to your church, I just-”

Cathy snapped, “I know exactly why you’re going over there, missy.”

Tessa raised her eyebrows at Sara, but Sara could only shrug again, glad her mother was taking up the fight.

“That is a house of worship.” Cathy pointed her finger at Tessa this time. “Church is not just another place to get laid.”

Tessa barked a laugh, then stopped when she saw that her mother was serious. “It’s not that,” she defended. “I like being there.”

“You like Leviticus Ward.”

“Well,” Tessa allowed, a smile curling her lips. “Yeah, but I like being at the church, too.”

Cathy tucked her hands into her hips, looking back and forth between her two daughters as if she didn’t know what to do with them.

Tessa said, “I’m serious, Mama. I want to be there. Not just for Lev. For me.”

Despite her feelings on the subject, Sara backed her up. “She’s telling the truth.”

Cathy pressed her lips together, and for a moment Sara thought she might cry. She had always known that religion was important to her mother, but Cathy had never forced it down their throats. She wanted her children to choose spirituality of their own accord, and Sara could see now how happy she was that Tessa had come around. For a brief moment, Sara felt jealous that she couldn’t do the same.