Faithless

“I, uh…” His face broke into an awkward grin. Maybe he had been expecting her to hit him with the newspaper. She had done it before.

“Shattered my tib-fib,” he said, indicating his ankle. She saw a cane tucked into the couch between him and the girl. “I’m back home for a while so my mom can look after me.”

Lena knew his mother’s house was two streets over. Her heart did an odd kind of tumble in her chest as she wondered how long he had been living there. She racked her brain for something to say, settling on, “How’s she doing? Your mom.”

“Still cantankerous as ever.” His eyes were a crystal clear blue, incongruous with his jet-black hair. He was wearing it longer now, or maybe he had forgotten to get it cut. Greg was always forgetting that sort of thing, spending hours in front of the computer figuring out a program while the house was falling apart around him. They had argued about it constantly. They had argued about everything constantly. She had never let up, not giving him an inch on anything. He had a

He asked, “And you?”

“What?” she said, still stuck in her thoughts. His fingers tapped on the cane, and she saw his nails had been bitten to the quick.

Greg glanced at the other women, his smile a little more hesitant. “I asked how you were doing.”

She shrugged, and there was a long moment of silence where she could only stare at him. Finally, she made herself look down at her hands. She had shredded the corner of the newspaper like a nervous housewife. Jesus, she had never been this uncomfortable in her life. There were lunatics in the asylum with better social skills.

“Lena,” Nan said, her voice taking on a nervous pitch. “This is Mindy Bryant.”

Mindy reached out her hand, and Lena shook it. She saw Greg looking at the scars on the back of her hand and pulled back self-consciously.

His tone had a quiet sadness. “I heard what happened.”

“Yeah,” she managed, tucking her hands into her back pockets. “Listen, I’ve got to get ready for work.”

“Oh, right,” Greg said. He tried to stand. Mindy and Nan reached out to help, but Lena stood where she was. She had wanted to help, even felt her muscles twitch, but for some reason her feet stayed rooted to the floor.

Greg leaned on his cane, telling Lena, “I just thought I’d drop by and let you guys know I’m back in town.” He leaned over and kissed Nan ’s cheek. Lena remembered how many arguments she’d had with Greg over Sibyl’s sexual orientation. He had always been on her sister’s side and probably thought it was really rich that Lena and Nan were living together now. Or maybe not. Greg was not the petty type and never held a grudge for long; it was one of the many qualities she hadn’t understood about him.

He told Lena, “I’m sorry about Sibyl. Mama didn’t tell me until I got back.”

“I’m not surprised,” Lena said. Lu Mitchell had hated Lena on sight. She was one of those women who thought her son walked on water.

Greg said, “So, I’ll get going.”

“Yeah,” Lena answered, stepping back so he could make his way to the door.

“Don’t be a stranger.” Nan patted his arm. She was still acting nervous, and Lena noticed that she was blinking a lot. Something was different about her, but Lena couldn’t put her finger on it.

Greg said, “You look great, Nan. Really good.”

Nan actually blushed, and Lena realized she wasn’t wearing her glasses. When had Nan gotten contacts? And for that matter, why? She had never been the type to worry about her appearance, but today she had even forgone her usual pastels and had dressed in jeans and a plain black T-shirt. Lena had never seen her in anything darker than chartreuse.

Mindy had said something, and Lena apologized, saying, “Sorry?”

“I said it was nice meeting you.” She had a twang that grated, and Lena hoped the smile she managed didn’t betray her aversion.

Greg said, “Nice meeting you, too,” and shook Mindy’s hand.

Lena opened her mouth to say something, then changed her mind. Greg was at the door, his hand on the knob.

He gave Lena one last look over his shoulder. “I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Lena answered, thinking that was pretty much all she had said for the last five minutes.

The door clicked shut and the three women stood in a circle.

Mindy gave a nervous laugh, and Nan joined in just a tad too loudly. She put her hand to her mouth to stop herself.

Mindy said, “I’d better get back to work.” She leaned over to kiss Nan’s cheek, but Nan pulled back. At the last minute, she realized what she had done and leaned forward, hitting Mindy in the nose.

Mindy laughed, rubbing her nose. “I’ll call you.”

“Um, okay,” Nan answered, her face the color of a turnip. “I’ll be here. Today, I mean. Or at work tomorrow.” She looked at everything in the room but Lena. “I mean, I’ll be around.”

“Okay,” Mindy answered, the smile on her face a little tighter. She told Lena, “Nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, you, too.”

Mindy gave Nan a furtive look. “See you later.”

Nan waved, and Lena said, “Bye.”

The door closed, and Lena felt like all the air had been sucked from the room. Nan was still blushing, her lips pressed together so tightly they were turning white. Lena decided to break the ice, saying, “She seems nice.”

“Yeah,” Nan agreed. “I mean, no. Not that she’s not nice. I just… Oh, dear me.” She pressed her fingers to her lips to stop them.

Lena tried to think of something positive to say. “She’s pretty.”

“You think so?” Nan blushed again. “I mean, not that it matters. I just-”

“It’s okay, Nan.”

“It’s too soon.”

Lena didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t good at comforting people. She wasn’t good at anything emotional, a fact that Greg had cited several times before he’d finally gotten fed up and left.

“Greg just knocked on the door,” Nan said, and when Lena looked out the front door, she added, “not now, before. We were sitting around. Mindy and I. We were just talking and he knocked and-” She stopped, taking a deep breath. “Greg looks good.”

“Yeah.”

“He said he walks in the neighborhood all the time,” Nan told her. “For his leg. He’s in physical therapy. He didn’t want to be rude. You know, if we saw him in the street and wondered what he was doing back in town.”

Lena nodded.

“He didn’t know you were here. Living here.”

“Oh.”

Silence took over again.

Nan said, “Well,” just as Lena said, “I thought you were at work.”

“I took the morning off.”

Lena rested her hand on the front door. Nan had obviously wanted to keep her date a secret. Maybe she was ashamed, or maybe she was scared what Lena ’s reaction might be.

Lena asked, “Did you have coffee with her?”

“It’s too soon after Sibyl,” Nan told her. “I didn’t notice until you got here…”

“What?”

“She looks like you. Like Sibyl.” She amended, “Not exactly like Sibyl, not as pretty. Not as…” Nan rubbed her eyes with her fingers, then whispered, “Shit.”

Lena was yet again at a loss for words.

“Stupid contacts,” Nan said. She dropped her hand, but Lena could see her eyes were watering.

“It’s okay, Nan,” Lena told her, feeling an odd sense of responsibility. “It’s been three years,” she pointed out, though it felt like it had barely been three days. “You deserve a life. She would want you to-”

Nan cut her off with a nod, sniffing loudly. She waved her hands in front of her face. “I’d better go take these stupid things out. I feel like I have needles in my eyes.”

She practically ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Lena contemplated standing outside the door, asking her if she was okay, but that felt like a violation. The thought that Nan might one day date had never occurred to Lena. She had considered Nan asexual after a while, existing only in the context of their home life. For the first time, Lena realized that Nan must have been terribly lonely all this time.