Lonesome Dove

Call glanced around in time to see the glass shatter. Augustus had always been a wonderful pistol shot-it was pleasing to see he still was. All of the cardplayers scurried for cover except a fat man in a big hat. Looking more closely, Call remembered him-his name was Ned Tym, and he was a seasoned gambler, too seasoned to be disturbed by a little flying glass. When it stopped flying, Ned Tym coolly took his hat off and blew the glass from the brim.

"Well, the Texas Rangers is back in town," he said. "Hello, Gus. Next time I see a circus I'll ask them if they need a trick shot."

"Why, Ned, is that you?" Augustus said. "My old eyes are failing. If I'd recognized you I'd have shot your hat off and saved a glass. Where do you keep your extra aces these days?"

Before Ned Tym could answer, a man in a black coat came ru

"What's going on here, Ned?" the man asked, prudently stopping by the card table. Augustus still held the big pistol in his hand.

"Oh, nothing, John," Ned said. "Captain McCrae and Captain Call happened in and Captain McCrae gave us a little demonstration with his pistol, that's all."

"It ain't all," the bartender said, in a loud voice. "The old son of a bitch broke my nose."

With a movement so graceful it seemed almost gentle, Augustus reached across the bar and rapped the bartender above the ear with his gun barrel. A tap was enough. The bartender slid out of sight and was seen no more.

"Why'd you do that?" the man in the black coat asked. He was angry, but, even more, he seemed surprised. Call glanced at him and judged him no threat-he sipped his whiskey and left the theatrics to Augustus.

"I'm surprised you have to ask why I did that," Augustus said, holstering his gun. "You heard the name he called me. If that's city ways, they don't appeal to me. Besides, he was a dawdling bartender and deserved a lick. Do you own this place, or what's your gripe?"

"I own it," the man said. "I don't allow shooting in it, either."

"What became of Wee Willie Montgomery?" Augustus asked. "You didn't have to whack the bartender just to get a glass of whiskey when he owned it."

"Willie's woman run off," Ned Tym informed them. "He decided to chase her, so he sold the place to Joh

"Well, I can't say that I think he made a good choice," Augustus said, turning back to the bar. "Probably chose bad in the woman department too. Maybe if he's lucky she'll get plumb away."

"No, they're living up in Fort Worth," Ned said. "Willie was determined not to lose her."

Call was looking at the picture Augustus had fetched from behind the bar. It was of himself and Gus and Jake Spoon, taken years before. Jake was gri

The young man in the black coat went over behind the bar and looked at the fallen bartender.

"Why did you have to break his nose," he asked.

"He'll thank me someday," Augustus said. "It will make him more appealing to the ladies. He looked too much like a long-tailed rat, as it was. With no better ma

"Well, I won't have this!" the young man said loudly. "I don't know why you old cowboys think you can just walk in and do what you please. What's that picture doing on the bar?"

"Why, it's just a picture of us boys, back in the days when they wanted to make us senators," Augustus said. "Willie kept it on the mirror there so when we happened in we could see how handsome we used to look."

"I'm a notion to call the sheriff and have the two of you arrested," the young man said. "Shooting in my bar is a crime, and I don't care what you done twenty years ago. You can get out of here and be quick about it or you'll end up spending your night in jail." He got angrier as he spoke.

"Oh, now, John, I wouldn't threaten these gentlemen if I was you," Ned Tym said, appalled at what he was hearing. "This is Captain Call and Captain McCrae."

"Well, what's that to me?" the man said, whirling on Ned. "I never heard of them and I won't have these old cowboys coming in here and making this kind of mess."

"They ain't old cowboys," Ned said. "They're Texas Rangers. You've heard of them. You've just forgot."

"I don't know why I would have," the man said. "I just lived here two years, miserable ones at that. I don't necessarily keep up with every old-timer who ever shot at an Indian. It's mostly tall tales anyway, just old men bragging on themselves."

"John, you don't know what you're talking about," Ned said, growing more alarmed. "Captain Call and Captain McCrae would be the last ones to brag."

"Well, that's your opinion," John said. "They look like braggarts to me."

Call was begi

Gus held the picture out so the young man could see it.

"You have to admit that's us," he said. "Why would you keep our picture propped up behind your bar and then expect us to stand there and be treated like spit when we walk in?"

"Oh, well, I never even noticed them dern pictures," John said. "I ought to have thrown all that old junk out, but I never got around to it. Just drink your drink and skedaddle or be ready to go to jail. Here comes the sheriff now."

Sure enough, in about a minute, Tobe Walker stepped into the bar. He was a heavyset man with a walrus mustache who looked older than his years. Call was amused to see him, for what the angry young man didn't know was that Tobe had been in their Ranger troop for four years, just before they quit. He had only been sixteen then, but he made a good Ranger. Tobe had looked up to both of them as if they were gods, and was an unlikely man to arrest them. His eyes widened when he saw them.

"Why, can it be?" he asked. "Captain Call?"

"Well, Tobe," Call said, shaking his hand.

Augustus, too, was highly amused by the turn of events.

"'I God, Tobe," he said, "I guess it's your duty to handcuff us and march us off to jail."

"Why would I do that?" Tobe asked. "There's times when I think I ought to jail myself, but I don't know why I'd want to jail you two."

"Because you're hired to keep the peace and these old soaks have been disturbing it," John said. The fact that Tobe obviously recognized them only made him more testy.

Tobe became immediately frosty. "What's that you say, John?" he asked.

"I guess you heard me, sheriff, unless you're deaf," John said. "These men came in here and broke my bartender's nose. Then one of them shot off a gun for no reason. Then they pistol-whipped the bartender. I offered them a chance to leave, but since they haven't, I'm a notion to file charges and let the law take its course."