Last to die

They laughed together. The silence that followed was not unpleasant, like an unspoken admission that each of them was giving serious thought to what it might be like to go “knitting” with the other. Their eyes met, and Jack felt his lips move slowly toward hers.

A noise from the house startled them. They turned simultaneously, only to catch a brief glimpse of Nate’s face in the window, followed by the telling sway of vertical blinds.

“Nathan, you had better not be awake,” said Kelsey.

They could hear him giggling as he ran away. Kelsey smiled at Jack and said, “So, you actually want to date a single mom?”

He hesitated. It felt right on one level, but he still had his reservations. “We have to think about Nate.”

“You’re so good with him. I really like that.”

“He’s a great kid.”

“He is, but I’m talking about you. I’ve met several Big Brother volunteers. Seems to me, some do it because it makes them feel good about themselves, like they’re giving back and doing their civic duty. But the best ones just really like kids.”

“I’m probably in the latter group.”

“That’s what has me wondering. Where does that come from?”

“I’m not sure. My ex-wife and I never had kids, but it wasn’t because we didn’t want them.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for the question to become that personal.”

“It’s okay. I’m not one of those guys who goes around thinking I’d still be married if only we’d brought children into our failing marriage.”

“It doesn’t work. I can vouch for that.”

“I do want kids someday, though.”

She smiled and said, “Wondering what the world would be like with a Jack Junior in it?”

“Actually…aw, skip it.”

“Skip what?”

“Well, this isn’t exactly an even trade for the little secret you told me about hiring a fifteen-year-old baby-sitter, but there already is a Jack Junior, so to speak.”

“What?”

“The woman I dated before I married Cindy gave up a baby for adoption. She says he was mine. I didn’t even know about him until about a year ago.”

“She told you after you and Cindy were married?”

“Long after.”

“Wow. That’s quite an a

“It was a definite surprise.”

“Have you figured out how old the boy would be now?”

“About Nate’s age, actually.”

“Do you think you’ll ever meet him?”

“I doubt it. But if ever I do, Nate has certainly been good practice.”

She withdrew her hand. “Practice?”

Jack saw the expression on her face and said, “That’s probably not the right word.”

“No. In fact, I’d say it’s a pretty lousy word.”

“I’m sorry. All I meant was that Nate’s a typical mischievous boy who has prepared me for just about anything.”

“Which sounds a lot like practice.”

“Kelsey, come on. You know how much Nate means to me.”

She got off the swing and walked to the porch rail. Jack jumped down and went to her, but she didn’t turn around. “Hey,” he said, speaking to the back of her head. She kept looking toward the lawn, no response.

“Nate is not practice,” he said.

“Am I?”

“What?”

She turned and faced him. “Timing is so important in a relationship, don’t you think?”

“Of course.”

“Jack, be honest. How many women have you dated since your divorce?”

“I’ve been fixed up a few times.”

“So I’m the first woman you’ve really pursued?”

“Pursued?” he said, his voice with a little more edge than intended. “In all fairness, Kelsey, this was really more your idea than mine.”

“Well excuse me for putting a gun to your head.”

“You didn’t-” he stopped in mid-sentence, then brought a hand to his forehead, confused. “What just happened here? One minute we’re sitting on the porch swing holding hands, the next-I don’t know what.”

The front door opened just wide enough for the baby-sitter to stick her head out and say, “I’m really sorry, Kelsey, but if I’m not home by eleven-fifteen, my parents won’t let me sit for you anymore.”

“Don’t apologize. If Mr. Swyteck leaves now, you’ll be home in plenty of time. You ready, Jack?”

He’d agreed earlier to drop off the sitter on his way home. “I guess so.”

The girl tiptoed past them and continued down the steps. Jack looked at Kelsey and said, “Can we talk more about this, please?”

“I’ll call you.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

They were standing just a few feet apart, but neither one moved, as if it now seemed awkward that just moments earlier they’d been headed toward a good night kiss. Kelsey gave him a tight smile and said simply, “Good night, Jack.”

She went inside, and Jack waited for her to look back, catch his eye, and telegraph some sign of encouragement. It didn’t come. He turned away as the door closed, then caught up with the baby-sitter in the driveway, who was peering out impishly from beneath her bangs.

“Sorry I spoiled your moment, Mr. Swyteck.”

He scratched his head with the car key as he glanced back at Kesley’s house. “Don’t worry. About the only thing I’m sure of is that it wasn’t you who spoiled it.”

Twenty-nine

I’m going to Africa with you,” said Theo.

Jack had taken a detour after dropping off the baby-sitter. Theo and his band were playing their Friday night gig at a jazz club on Washington Avenue. Jack caught him on his midnight break seated at the end of a long bar, though he’d almost walked right by him in the dim lighting. It was the perfect ambience for the after-midnight crowd, scores of flickering candles in a variety of shapes and sizes in one elaborate candelabra after another. Theo was picking at a blob of wax that had dripped and hardened onto the bar top.

“You are not coming to Africa,” said Jack.

“Look, you’re a hopelessly white lawyer headed for a country of sixteen million Africans whose average weekly wage wouldn’t pay for the bowl of peanuts I just finished. You should be jumping up and down to have a guy like me at your side.”

“All right. We’ll talk about it.”

“That’s what you said yesterday. It’s done. If you go, I go.” He raised his glass in a toast, and after several long moments of consideration, Jack reciprocated with his beer bottle.

“But I’m not paying for your plane ticket,” said Jack.

“Got that covered for both of us. Friend of a friend flies a company jet for oil executives twice a month. It’s never more than half full. We leave this Tuesday. All you have to do is pay for our tickets to Houston.”

“What kind of plane we talking about?” Jack asked with obvious skepticism.

“Jack, really. Would I treat you like anything less than the rock star you are?”

“That’s what they told Buddy Holly.”

Jack’s cell phone rang, and he recognized the incoming number as Kelsey’s. “Be right back,” he told Theo, and then he hurried across the crowded bar to a relatively quiet spot near the back staircase.

“Hi.” He had the phone on one ear and his finger pressed to the other to drown out the drone of nightclub noises from the next room.

“I’m sorry about the way I overreacted,” she replied.

“It’s okay. I’m glad you called.”

“Nate loves you so much. He’s never had anyone like you in his life. His father and I divorced when he was three.”

“Like I said before. He’s the best.”

“That’s why I’m just not sure about us.”

Jack stopped pacing. “That’s what I told you in my car when you suggested we have di

“I know, and we should have listened to your instincts, not mine.”

“Why the sudden reversal?”

“When you and I were sitting on the porch swing, and I looked back and saw Nate’s little face in the window, my heart sank. He was so happy to see us together. But then another image flashed in my head, one of me a month or three months from now trying to explain to him why Jack doesn’t come around anymore.”