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Merlin hesitated, wanting to assure her that whatever wizards in this time were like, those of their time weren't monsters-but he wasn't sure that was true. Were his father and the other Elders any less monstrous since they were willing to destroy any woman of power, and avoided offspring of their own simply to avert potential problems? And would he himself have not survived infancy if he had been born female?
He reached out slowly, resting his hands on her shoulders and struggling inwardly between two equally strong but conflicting urges. He wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her, to banish the look of confusion and fear-from her vivid eyes. And he wanted to push her away, to turn his back and close her out in order to protect himself.
The fight went on, but he was able to speak in a fairly even voice despite it.
"Serena, you have to remember that this Isn't our world, or our time. Whatever these people are doing, it was done long before either of us was born. We can't change them. All we can do is try to understand their society and why it developed the way it did. We came here for answers, remember? Even if we decide to take some definitive action, we can't do anything at all until we have the answers we came for."
She didn't move, didn't shrug off his hands or try to pull back from him, but when she lifted her chin and looked him straight in the eye, it was obvious she had endured one shock too many; she wanted the truth, and her words made that clear.
"What answers, Richard? Why did we come here? I have to know."
His hands tightened, feeling the deceptive fragility of delicate bones and a slight build, the warmth of her. The flesh under his thumbs was soft and satiny. He couldn't turn his gaze away from her, seeing beautiful green eyes in a lovely face, bright red hair that was a symbol of passion, and a desirable, sensual body even the bulky clothing of Atlantis could not disguise.
Was every woman so graceful, or only Serena? Was her voice so enticing because it was a siren song, created to lead him to his doom? She drew him… and repelled him. He wanted her-Christ, yes, he wanted her, he'd wanted her for years-but at the same time his wariness of her grew so acute, it threatened to drive him mad.
"Richard." Her voice was low and held pain.
Realizing only then what he was doing, Merlin managed to force his hands to relax. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, Serena."
She was pale, and her eyes seemed larger than ever as she stared up at him. "That's the first time you've ever…" She drew a quick breath. "Tell me why we're here. I have to know the truth."
"I think… you already know," he said reluctantly.
"Because what's happening here does affect our time? Is that what we came back to try to change? Because male and female wizards fight and hurt each other even in the twentieth century?"
Merlin hesitated, and his hands tightened on her again, this time gently. "Serena, in the twentieth century there are no female wizards. Except you."
Roxa
She didn't trust Merlin, naturally, but had to admit if only to herself that she owed him her life. Why had he healed her injuries? From all she knew of male wizards, not one would lift a finger to save a female, counting himself lucky that there'd be one less enemy for him to worry about.
Serena might have encouraged him to do it, of course. But, again, Roxa
And baffling to Roxa
Watching the two by the stream, she wondered what it was they felt. Though he was quite adept at controlling his features, even Merlin seemed to be struggling with emotion, something Roxa
Could such things be the norm in the place where they came from, that Seattle? Were male wizards there capable of kindness, perhaps even of genuine caring?
Roxa
Unbidden, she remembered her recent encounter with another stranger. He had come to the city- unusual though not unheard of behavior for a male wizard. A young man, he had obeyed the laws without protest and had seemed content to wander about, his occasional questions polite and unthreatening. Handsome, as most of the male wizards were, he had smiled often and once had even laughed out loud…
With an effort Roxa
Besides that, Roxa
In fact, she could be bearing a lasting reminder of the violence done to her. It had occurred to her last night, and though Serena had urged her to grieve and get angry, Roxa
If that had indeed happened, Roxa
Roxa