Indelible

Today, Sara wanted to see Robert's wound again, and even if Jeffrey wouldn't – or couldn't – keep his promise to let her do the autopsy, she wanted to watch while whoever was in charge examined the slain man – or victim, depending on how you looked at it. After that, all she wanted to do was get the hell out of Sylacauga and away from Jeffrey. She needed time and some distance so she could get her head together and figure out exactly how she felt about him in light of last night's explosion.

Sara tested her weight on her feet. Her soles were bruised from the impromptu run last night, and something sharp had taken a chunk of skin out of her heel. She would stop to buy Band-Aids once she got on the interstate.

Nell offered a faint smile when Sara limped into the kitchen. "Kids won't be up for another hour."

Sara tried to be polite. "How old are they?"

"Jared's ten, Je

Sara raised an eyebrow.

"Trust me, I got my tubes tied the second she was out." Nell took a coffee cup out of the cabinet. "You like it black?" Sara nodded. "Jen's the smart one. Don't tell Jared I said that, but Jen's a full grade ahead of him in school. It's his own damn fault – he's not stupid, he's just more interested in sports than books. Boys that age just can't sit still for anything. You probably know all about that with your job." She put the cup down in front of Sara and poured coffee as she spoke. "I guess you want a houseful of kids when you settle down."

Sara watched steam rise from the cup. "I can't actually have children."

"Oh," Nell said. "There's my foot in my mouth again. You'd think I loved the taste of leather."

"It's okay."

Nell sat down across from Sara with a heavy sigh. "God, but I'm nosey. It's the only thing my mother says about me that's true."

Sara forced a smile. "Really, it's okay."

"I won't press you for details," Nell said, but her tone of voice implied she would be more than open to hearing them.

"Ectopic pregnancy," Sara provided, though she went no further.

"Does Jeffrey know?"

She shook her head.

"You could always adopt."

"That's what my mother keeps saying," Sara said, and for the first time she voiced the reason why she couldn't bear the thought of adoption. "I know this sounds horrible, but I take care of other people's children all day. When I get home…"

"You don't have to tell me," Nell said. She reached over and squeezed Sara's hand. "Jeffrey won't mind."

Sara gave her a tight smile and Nell breathed out a heavy sigh, saying, "Well, shit. Can't say I didn't see that coming, but I was hoping it would last a little longer."

"I'm sorry."

"Forget about it." Nell slapped her thighs as she stood. "Nothing bad between you and me. Jeffrey's loss is my gain. First damn time that's ever happened, I can tell you."

Sara stared down at her coffee again.

"You want pancakes?"

"I'm not that hungry," Sara told her, even as her stomach grumbled.

"Me neither." Nell took out the griddle. "Three or four?"

"Four."

Nell put the griddle on the stove and went about preparing the batter. Sara watched, thinking she had seen her mother do this same thing thousands of times. There was something so comforting about being in a kitchen, and Sara felt the nightmares from the night before start to fade.

"Stupid neighbor," Nell said, tossing a cheery wave at someone outside the window over the sink. A car door slammed, followed by an engine starting. "He's gone every weekend with some whore he met in Birmingham. Watch it," she said, tossing Sara a look over her shoulder to make sure she was paying attention. "Soon as he pulls out of the driveway, those dogs will start barking and they won't shut up till he comes back around ten tonight." She stood on the tips of her toes and craned her head to see into the neighbor's yard. "I've talked with him ten times about getting those poor things some shelter. Possum even offered to build him something. God, they howl when it rains."

The dogs started barking on cue. Just to keep her talking, Sara asked, "They don't have a doghouse?"

She shook her head. "Nope. He kept having to come home because they jumped the fence, so he put them on chains. So, of course every morning like clockwork they knock their water bowls over and I have to trudge over there and fill 'em back up." She handed Sara a carton of eggs and a bowl, saying, "Make yourself useful," before continuing, "Boxers are so damn ugly. They're not even the cute kind of ugly. And Lord, do they slobber. It's like taking a spit bath every time I go over there."

Sara broke the eggs into the bowl, not listening to Nell's words so much as the cadence of her voice. She was thinking about Jeffrey and trying to put logic to what had happened last night. Sara knew that both her biggest strength and her biggest weakness was that she saw things clearly in black and white, but right now, for the first time in her life, she was seeing the gray. She had been tired last night, and upset by everything that had happened. Had she really seen the sear mark? The more she thought about it, the more she convinced herself that she had not. But her gut still told her to go with what she had first thought. And why would Robert keep covering the wound unless he really had something to hide?

"Sara?" Nell said. She had obviously asked a question.

"I'm sorry," Sara apologized. "What?"

"I asked did Robert recognize the man?"

Sara shook her head. "I guess not or he would've said something."

"It hasn't made the papers yet – we only get a weekly here and it's not due until next Sunday – but I heard on my walk this morning that it's Luke Swan. The name won't mean anything to you, but we all went to school with him. He used to live a couple of houses over." She pointed toward the backyard. "Possum was born here and I grew up across the street – did I tell you?" Sara shook her head. "We moved in after his mama died. I couldn't stand the woman -" she knocked three times on the wooden cabinet under the sink, "but it was nice of her to leave the house to us. I thought Possum's brother would make a stink, but it all worked out." She paused for breath. "Where was I?"

"Luke."

"Right." She turned back to the stove. "He lived here a few years before his father lost his job, then they moved over by the school. He didn't exactly run with our crowd."

Sara could guess she meant the popular crowd. The same groups had been at her own school, and though Sara had been far from popular, she was lucky enough not to have been picked on for it.

Nell continued, "I heard he's a troublemaker, but who knows? People say all kinds of things after somebody's dead. You should hear Possum talk about his mama like she was Mary Poppins, and that woman was never happy a day of her life. She was a lot like Jessie that way." Nell poured four pancakes onto the griddle. "I heard Jessie's at her mama's."

"Yes," Sara confirmed.

"Good Lord," Nell mumbled, taking the bowl of eggs from Sara. She beat them with a fork, then dumped them into a frying pan. Even though Sara had graduated in the top ten percent of her class at one of the toughest medical schools in the country, she always felt inadequate around women who could cook. The one meal she had prepared for her last boyfriend had resulted in the throwing away of two pots and a perfectly good garbage can.

Nell said, "I ebb and flow with that woman. Maybe it's because Robert and Possum throw us together all the time and expect us to make happy. Sometimes I think she's not that bad and sometimes I just want to pop her upside the head to knock some sense into her." She tapped the fork on the edge of the pan before setting it on a napkin. "Right now I just feel sorry for her."

"It's an awful thing to have happen."

Nell flipped the pancakes with a spatula. "Bobby's a real doll but you never know what they're like until you get them home and take them out of their packages. Maybe he sucks his teeth. Possum started doing that a few years ago until I threatened to beat him with a bat." She put the pancakes and some of the eggs onto a plate and handed it to Sara. "Bacon?"