You’ve Been Warned

“You’re right. He’s my father.”

He leans in, really examining the picture. “Was he a good man?”

“Excuse me?”

“I said, was he -”

“No, I heard you okay. That’s kind of an odd question, don’t you think?”

“Actually, I think it’s the only question… for all of us, that is. In the end, we’re only the sum of the choices we make, right?”

Oh, great, the existential exterminator.

I’m begi

“And how did you know my father is dead? You said, Was he a good man?”

He shrugs. “I guess I just assumed.”

From looking at a recently developed picture of him?

We’re talking serious heebie-jeebies now. This guy can’t leave my apartment fast enough. It’s possible that he’s as scary as thousands of cockroaches all by himself.

“So are we all done here?” I ask hastily.

“I’m sorry. I’ve offended you, haven’t I?”

“No, it’s okay. I think I’m a little on edge thanks to the roaches.” Among other things.

He pats his trusty spray canister. “Hopefully we’ve taken care of that for a while.”

“About how long does the poison last?”

“A month or so.”

“That’s all? You’d think there’d be something better in this day and age.”

“You mean something that lasts forever?”

“Exactly.”

He shakes his head. “No, I’m afraid there’s only one thing in this world that lasts forever.”

“Let me guess. Love?”

“No,” he says, leaning in close. “That’d be your soul.”

Chapter 49

AT HALF PAST EIGHT, I walk into the bustling Elio’s on Second Avenue near 84th Street and scan the bar area, keeping in mind the description I’ve been given. Tall, dark, very handsome, answers to Stephen.

If you say so, Penley.

You’re the boss. And believe you me, if you weren’t, there’s no way I’d be going through with this blind date! Not right now especially.

“Excuse me, are you Kristin?”

I turn around and look up at a pair of amazingly high cheekbones. As for the rest of him, I take a quick glance.

Tall, dark, very handsome. Check, check, check.

“You must be Stephen,” I say, and can’t keep a slight smile off my face.

A minute later we’re sitting at a cozy table for two along the wall. Michael would besooo jealous.

But that’s not why I’m feeling guilty. As Stephen and I talk and get acquainted – he owns a film editing company, likes to rock climb – it seems as if he’s a genuinely nice guy. I feel bad that I’m wasting his time. My heart belongs to Michael.

After a few minutes, I think Stephen picks up on it. “Are you seeing someone?” he asks.

I feel even worse having to lie. “No,” I answer. “There’s no one.”

“Penley told me you weren’t, but I guess I wanted to make sure.” He smiles. Nice smile too. “I should talk, right? I assume you heard about my situation?”

I shake my head. “Just that you recently came out of a relationship.”

“That’s one way to put it, I guess. Personally, I prefer the word dumped. ”

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I made a mistake,” he says, shaking his head. “I got involved with someone who’s married.”

Oh.

Thankfully, the awkward silence is broken by the waiter arriving to a

Think again.

“So tell me more about your film editing company,” I say as the waiter strolls off.

It’s as if he doesn’t even hear me.

“You know what the worst part is? I believed her,” he says. “She kept telling me how she was going to leave her husband. I really should’ve known better. They never leave.”

I immediately reach for my glass of water. My mouth is dry. Like I’ve been eating Saltines on the Sahara.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks. “You look uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine.”

He sighs. “Jeez, listen to me going on and on about my ex. I apologize.”

“It’s okay. I understand.”

“Do you?”

“Sure,” I say. “It’s not easy letting go.” I did it once, big-time. With Matthew of Boston.

“You’re right. But there’s something else and it’s been killing me.”

“What’s that?”

“The guilt. It never occurred to me until the relationship ended,” he says. “I mean, where did I get off trying to break up a marriage?”

I hear him say the words and I have to remind myself that he’s not talking about me. This is abouthim. But weirdly, I can’t help feeling defensive. The parallel to Michael and me is unmistakable, and more than a little u

“Clearly this woman you were seeing doesn’t have a good marriage,” I point out.

“Yes, but good or bad it’s still a marriage – I shouldn’t have been trying to ruin it. They’ve got kids, for Christ’s sake.”

“But she doesn’t really love them!” I blurt out.

He looks at me sideways. “Excuse me?”

Uh-oh. Say something, Kristin. Anything! At least get your size eight out of your mouth.

I clear my throat, trying to reel myself in. Then I put my hand on top of his. “I just think you’re being too hard on yourself, Stephen. Remember, it takes two to tango.”

“Yeah,” he says, leaning in closer. “Except you’re forgetting one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“No one’s ever forced to dance, are they?”

8

Chapter 50

I NEED SOME AIR!

That’s all I’m thinking as I say good-bye to Stephen. Our evening ends on the sidewalk outside Elio’s with an exchange of awkward smiles, a peck on my cheek, and the unspoken understanding that this is our first and last date.

“Can I hail you a cab?” he asks.

“That’s okay. I think I’m going to walk for a bit.”

It doesn’t matter where, and for the next hour or so, I pay no attention to the street signs. I wander aimlessly. It’s only when I get a strange feeling in my stomach that I look up for the first time and see where I am.

Sixty-eighth and Madison, right smack in front of the Fálcon Hotel.

Coincidence?

I wish.

I’m starting to believe that everything is happening for a reason. If only I could figure out what it is. Something has to tie all this together, make sense of it.

Maybe the strangest thing of all: the Fálcon and I have a history. Something I never talk about, not even to Michael. It happened my first week in New York, actually, just before I left Matthew of Boston. Since then, I try not to think about it. But here I am!

Standing in front of the hotel, watching as a few well-heeled guests exit and enter under the same red awning where the four gurneys came rolling out, I can’t help dwelling on one of the other strange “coincidences.”

My pictures.

Specifically, the transparent effect that happened with the body bags. And then with Penley.

There has to be some logical co

It would be so easy to say that the dream I keep having is a premonition. I never used to believe in that psychic stuff, but now I’m willing to change my mind. Except the dream already came true. I saw it with my own eyes. Standing in this exact spot, no less.

The people in those body bags are stone cold dead. Penley – as if I need to be reminded – is very much alive.

Don’t go there.

I can’t help it, though. The thought creeps into my head, as it’s done a few times before. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s horrible even to think it.

And still, I do.

It’s Penley who stands in the way of everything. Were it not for her, I’d have Michael. I’d have Dakota and Sean. I’d have everything I ever wanted.