Mistaken Identity

“Too bad. I’m new in town. It would be nice to meet them. Make friends.”

“You ain’t missin’ nothin’. They’re like a group, you know. They think they’re all that. There’s Juan’s wife, Maria, and Mickey, he’s a heavyweight, and his wife, Ceilia. Ceilia is a bitch, I tell you. The only nice one was Valencia, Miguel’s girlfriend, but she’s gone.” Ro

“Jeez, prison? What for?”

“They said she was selling coke.”

“Selling cocaine?” Judy hid her surprise. It was amazing how much you could learn from another woman in a ladies’ room, even a crummy ladies’ room.

“I don’t think Valencia did that, though. She was friendly with the wives. She was friendly with everybody, you know. I always wondered, you know, what’s up with them. They mighta been doin’ business, you know, from them I could believe it. But Valencia would never do nothin’ like that. She was a wonderful mother.”

“You don’t think she sold coke?”

“I can’t say for sure, you know. I only went out with them once, ’cause of Da

“Star?” Judy said, playing dumb, which wasn’t easy for a Law Review editor.

“Star Harald. He’s turning pro next. He’s almost as good as Da

“She killed her boyfriend? How do you know?”

Ro

39

Be

Sunlight from her office window fell on her back but she couldn’t feel its warmth. Motes of dust floated through a sunbeam, but she couldn’t focus on them. The shadow cast across the Co

Be

The news confounded her. It seemed astounding that the only inevitable fact should be profoundly inconceivable when it happened. Bewildering that an event Be

Her mother had won freedom from a life of torment, of whispers in the night, of fears. Hers was an empty life, a hollow one. That was inconceivable, too. Life was supposed to be full of productive work and of simple pleasures; the laughter of children, the crunch of a fresh apple, the warmth of a soft blanket. Sharp pencils and good, thick books. Life wasn’t supposed to be dark with nightmares; brief interludes of clarity in a world of confusion, made blacker because its origins were so unjustified, and unjustifiable.

Be

She sat still for one more minute, then got up, grabbed her handbag, and walked silently out of her office and through her law firm. She said not a word to anyone, just avoided their curious eyes, even Marshall’s, who had taken the doctor’s messages and probably guessed what had happened.

Be

Insert monthly pass card in slot.

Drive out of garage.

Turn left onto Locust.

Cruise to the corner.

Stop at the red light.

So many tasks to perform, each one discrete and identifiable. Be

“She wasn’t alone,” Hattie sobbed, her coarse, dark cheeks streaked with tears.

Be

“She suffered so much,” Hattie said, but Be

“My poor baby,” Hattie murmured, and Be

“I don’t know why they tellin’ me she was fine,” Hattie said, her tears turning to anger, then back again. Be

“Are you the family?” interrupted a man’s voice, and Be

“Yes,” Be

“I’m sorry for your terrible loss. We’ve come for Mrs. Rosato,” he said. Discreetly behind him waited a collapsible metal gurney. The sight of it caught Be

“Not yet,” she said firmly. “Not just yet.” She halted the man with a large, trembling hand, disentangled herself from Hattie, and rose to her feet to say good-bye. Only after she had slipped inside her mother’s room did she permit herself the luxury of breaking down.