The Potato Factory

Ha

Now Ha

'ard time doin' it!'

Sir Jasper, much taken aback by Ha

'Hush, hush, m'dear, you'll do yourself a harm,' he cried in alarm. 'I shall see what we can do!'

'Not good enough, sir!'

'Hell hath no fury, eh?'

Sir Jasper was sufficiently sensitive to realise with some delight that Ha

Sir Jasper smiled. 'Mary Abacus will be arrested, I promise.'

'And transported?'

'I can't influence the judge, m'dear.'

'Ya can 'ave a word in the ear o' the judge, like you said ya could in the matter of Ikey's 'anging!' Ha

The little man sighed heavily. 'That being a civil crime, this, madam, would be a social one!' As though to explain he shrugged and added, 'A crime against the people.'

'Swear it!' Ha

'You strike a hard bargain, Mrs Solomons.' Sir Jasper paused. 'Very well, I swear I shall arrest Mary Abacus and cause her to be transported, though it will not be a popular idea in the City.'

Ha

But then, like a thunderbolt, it struck her that she had once again been denied. Ha

Ha

Sir Jasper took a gold hunter from his waistcoat and clicked it open. He was anxious to conclude the business at hand. 'No, of course, Mrs Solomons, there is absolutely no need for your husband to know of your co-operation with the authorities.' He returned his watch to his waistcoat. 'Under the circumstances it is most honourable of you to spare his feelings.'

'Kindness 'as always been me great downfall,' Ha

Sir Jasper cleared his throat. 'Now, this is what we want and, I must warn you, I shall brook no altercation on the matter. We shall raid your premises in White-chapel and we shall expect to find a number of counterfeit five pound notes well concealed. The money we find will be some portion of the counterfeit notes we discovered in the basement premises at Bell Alley.'

'The money? In me 'ouse? You must be completely barmy, that makes me guilty too, don't it?' Ha

'I have already given you our assurance as an officer of the law and a gentleman on that matter, madam.'

Ha

'ead, and 'e'd be right too, allowin' counterfeit money to be found in me own 'ouse.'

Ha

Sir Jasper was visibly growing impatient. 'You will have to trust me, madam!' he said sharply.

'It ain't a matter o' trust, sir. It's a matter o' natural caution, a matter of survival. I wouldn't trust me own rabbi from shoppin' me if 'e was to find counterfeit money in me 'ouse! Stands to reason, don't it? In the eyes o' the law, Ikey and me, we'd both be guilty!' She paused and smiled at the police officer. 'May I suggest summink more appropriate?'

The Upper Marshal banged his fist down hard upon the table. 'No, madam, you may not! I hardly think a woman of your background could improve on our methodicals! This plan is the work of experienced officers, it requires no alteration, being quite perfect as it is!' He folded his arms across his chest and glowered at Ha

Ha

'Is coat. Sew the money in the linin' o' his coat, then nick 'im on the street, away from 'ome, away from me and the young 'uns!'

The police officer, despite his irritability, looked up at her in surprise. 'I say, do you think you could do that?' Then he rested his chin on his chest and mused, as though to himself, 'Lining of his coat? Caught red-handed with the money on his person, in his possession?' He looked up and smiled at Ha

'Not so perfect, already!' Ha

'E don't ever take 'is coat orf, not never and not particular never at this time, when the weather is inclement and comin' up to Christmas.' She cocked her head and thought for a moment, 'On the other 'and, if 'e don't ever take orf 'is coat… ' she paused, thinking again, 'then the only person what would 'ave put the money there is 'isself, ain't that right, then?'

Sir Jasper clapped his hands in delight. 'I say, that's damn clever, m'dear! Capital, how very wise of you!'