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He crooks an eyebrow at me.
“I didn’t know if I could count on you. It just seemed smarter to do it all myself.”
“Because you always had to do everything yourself?”
“Basically.”
“That ends today,” he says.
“What ends today?”
“Even if you don’t choose to stay, you are not caring for the twins alone. I am their father. I am in fact their main caregiver—this is according to orc law.”
I place my hands on my hips. “Whelan, I flew across the country for you with my babies. You might be their main caregiver according to orc law but I carried those babies for nine months and delivered them and I’ve been breastfeeding them ever since. Never forget that I’m their mother.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “I also wonder if a female from the other side of the country can really live here for the rest of her life. Many males have moved out to live amongst the humans in their cities but that is not me. I go to the nearby town and buy groceries. Humans there know me, but still scream in fear. My father is the leader of our tribe, and it is expected that as his son I will one day also lead our tribe. This means I will also be the main contact with the tribe and the human government. Rogan sent me out on my first mission without him. I had to go out and speak for my tribe and be the representative.”
“This is why you were staying at the hotel?”
“Yes. And did you end up at that hotel bar in Maine if you live in California?”
I turn and stir the pasta and then the sauce, noting that it’s almost ready. “It all started when my best friend, Amelia, invited me to a writer’s retreat on the other side of the country. We’re both full-time professional authors who write thrillers for a living.”
“You tell stories for a living through published books?”
Pride warms my chest. “I do. And I make a good living too with a large readership. This last year Amelia talked me into going to a retreat with her in Maine, of all places. The retreat was wonderful, with five published authors staying too at the same hotel. I mean I got a whole book partially written. Then it ended and everyone left for home. But I stayed one extra night, waiting to catch my flight back home the next morning. I decided to go to the hotel bar that night. I’m not a hang-out-at-a-bar-and-pick-up-guys kind of girl, but I was still high off all that ‘peopling’ and wasn’t ready for it to end. So I got all dressed up, slinked downstairs and sat at the bar, perched on a seat with a drink in my hand. And a huge, sexy Orc with tall twisty horns, long hair and an unbuttoned plaid shirt sat next to me. And the rest is history.”
I twist around to strain the pasta in the sink and see that he’s staring at me intently. “I think you wanted to go to the bar because you scented me faintly in that hotel. I never go into human bars either, I think I scented you too.”
I start plating our food. “I think you might be right.”
“I am.”
“Hey, I moved across the country for you. That wasn’t easy. I left civilization, fully intent on living on this commune with you and our sons. I’m here to give this a real chance. I guess I just wasn’t ready to do that when we first met. I’m a self-employed professional author and ru
He’s holding my hand, lost in thought and rubbing my skin with his thumb. “You’ve thought this through.”
“Yes. I really believe I can continue my work here. Since you have satellite internet all I need to continue my work here is for us to squeeze a small desk into a corner of our bedroom and I’m good.”
He looks down at our joined hands, frowns and let’s go of me. “A human used to living in large mega cities ca
“That’s where you’re wrong. I bet lots of the women who live here now used to live in big cities. And now they’re perfectly happy.” I twirl some spaghetti onto my fork, lean forward and offer it to him.
“No.” Whelan meets my gaze. “No, Drew.” He quietly finishes all his pasta in record time, wipes his face clean with a cloth napkin and stands. Then he unclicks both of our sons from their bouncers and carries them away, leaving me alone at the table. “I’ll clean it all up later,” he growls over his shoulder.
“Ugh,” I groan, propping my chin in my hands.
Ten minutes later I rejoin my husband and babies in the nursery. “Let me help.”
He looks over his shoulder and gives a curt nod.
I take the comfy chair in the corner and start breastfeeding Owen while Whelan changes Bran’s diaper and then puts our other son in his pajamas. I can’t help but be happy and at peace, having all my guys here with me. The babies are thriving and happy to be with their father. Coming to the commune was certainly the right decision. I just wish Whelan would let me in further and stop pushing me away. I understand all his reasons but that doesn’t make them any easier.
I look down at my son’s tiny green hand against my chest and the smooth skin of his precious face. Gorgeous. He bites on my nipple in his eagerness to get his fill and I shift him to a better position. Then I glance up at Whelan’s wide back. “I wish you were there for their birth,” I say with complete honesty.
“I wish I’d been there too.”
“No, really. I’m sad you weren’t there.”
“Yes.” Then he turns around and marches over with Bran in his arms. “Tell me female,” he demands, “why do you want to stay here with me?”
“Because I want what’s best for the babies. They weren’t doing well on the outside and I learned they needed you. And…and I need you too. I’ve already said this before. I told you I’m here to try and make this work.”
“Try,” he mutters.
“I know you hate it when I say that word…” I pause to pluck Owen off my breast because he’s finished. I reach up and carefully hand him off to Whelan. In exchange he gives me Bran who I put against my other breast so my other boy can get his fill. Then I lean back in the chair again. “But that’s what we’re doing,” I say as Whelan strides away with Owen in his arms. “We’re trying to make this work between us.”
“Orcs don’t try to remain with their Brides. We are physically mated. Your commitment isn’t at the same level as mine.”
Ouch. “Well...” I toss my hair over my shoulder. “I’m actually not certain yet of your commitment either.”
He snorts with disbelief and looks over at me from the changing table. “I called you my Bride that first night when I took you. I gave you my seed countless times until I passed out. You know of my commitment.”
“No. I don’t. I know of your commitment to the boys. But as far as I know you’re just waiting for me to leave so you can finally be alone with them. I think you only want me as a way to breed more sons. You don’t want me, you just want more offspring.”
He fully turns with a look of shock on his harsh features. “You really believe that nonsense?”
Oh, damn. “Maybe,” I grumble. No, not really. I don’t believe it at all.
He shakes his head and doesn’t say anything else to me, probably wondering if I’ve lost my mind. I mean, maybe I have? This man has no idea how much I want him, all of him and maybe I am going a bit insane at his constant rejection. He smells so good and he’s so close, but unobtainable.
Eventually Bran finishes feeding too. I kiss both my twins goodnight. Whelan puts both our bundled babies into their cribs and turns on their soothing mobiles. We both quietly step out of the nursery and he closes the door behind us.