A play for 2,3,4,5,6 people. I"m looking for a scarier woman! Comedy

Nikolay Lakutin

A play for 2,3,4,5,6 people. I'm looking for a scarier woman! Comedy

Attention! ALL COPYRIGHTS TO THE PLAY ARE PROTECTED BY THE LAWS OF RUSSIA, INTERNATIONAL LEGISLATION, AND BELONG TO THE AUTHOR. ITS PUBLICATION AND REPUBLICATION, REPRODUCTION, PUBLIC PERFORMANCE, TRANSLATION INTO FOREIGN LANGUAGES, MAKING CHANGES TO THE TEXT OF THE PLAY WHEN STAGED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE AUTHOR IS PROHIBITED. THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY IS POSSIBLE ONLY AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF A DIRECT CONTRACT BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND THE THEATER.

A play in two acts. (Can be delivered as a one-act).

(18+)

An explanatory note for the director is attached at the end of the play.

ACTORS

Nikita.

Matilda.

Shura.

Valia.

Galya.

Lena.

Action 1

Scene 1. Matilda.

Luxury apartment. Nikita works with papers, checks reports sent by subordinates.

Enter Matilda.

Matilda. Honey, are you too busy?

Nikita (without distracting himself from the reports). Sorry, Matilda, I'm busy. Pavel sent a quarterly report, I'm studying it. To be honest, I have suspicions that a significant part of the proceeds goes past the office. And.... (finding the right lines in the papers), apparently my suspicions are not unfounded.

Matilda. Ah, times, ah, ma

Nikita (without distracting himself from the reports). Yes… yes… yes…

Matilda (assessing the situation). Okay, well, work, I won't distract you.

Nikita (without distracting himself from the reports). Uh-huh.

Matilda (in a pleading voice). Honey, can I go shopping for a while then?

Nikita (without distracting himself from the reports). Go –go, of course, not a question.

Matilda (after a pause of misunderstanding). Nikita?

Nikita (without distracting himself from the reports). Yes, yes?

Matilda (a little offended). I say I'll go shopping.

Nikita (looking up from the reports for the first time, looks at Matilda, trying to figure out what she needs). Ah, got it. How much do you need?

Matilda (quite). Yes, a little bit.

Nikita. How much?

Matilda. Give me four thousand. No, five is better.

Nikita (taking some crumpled bills out of his pocket, hands them to Matilda). Hold.

Matilda (with a psycho). What are you? Are you kidding me?

Nikita (taken aback). What's wrong?

Matilda (with a psycho). Four or five thousand, but not rubles, Nikita!!! You don't even go to the toilet with the company for these pe

Nikita. Ah, sorry, I've been working hard. I thought you were in the grocery store. Bread, maybe milk, or something akin to that. Of course, this is not enough for clothes. Now. (He goes to get the money, shouts from the back room). And that you have nothing left on the map? Didn't I transfer it to you last week?

Matilda (shouts so Nikita can hear). The ones you sent last week, we've eaten for a long time… And we can't wait for you to send "a dozen new and sweet galoshes for our di

Nikita (enters, holding a wad of dollars in his hands). How did you eat it? Have you eaten everything?

Matilda (affectionately). Nikita, well, I'm not just buying groceries at home. The girls and I often drop into restaurants. I took cosmetics for myself, and other feminine attributes, but what kind of questions are you like a little one, really …

Nikita (giving money). Sorry, just asking. Is that enough?

Matilda (quickly assessing the pack with a stuffed eye). Should be enough. If it's not enough, I'll call you. Well, that's it, work, I won't distract you.

Nikita (shouts after the departing Matilda). Are you staying long?

Matilda (shouts "at the door"). I'll come by midnight… probably.

Matilda leaves. Nikita sits down at the documents again and studies them.

Nikita (distracted from the documents). Well, it's clear now what's going where. Okay, Pasha, we'll talk to you, tell us who put you up to such schemes.

He's leaving. The light is very dimmed.

Night. Nikita enters in a housecoat with a phone in his hand, calls Matilda.

Nikita (into the phone). Matilda, did I hear that? Did you say you'd be back before twelve? (Listening to the phone). Oh, you said probably. Well, yes, that makes a difference. Half past two in the morning, for a second, you're not here. You don't call, you don't write. I'm worried. All shopping malls have been closed for a long time. Where are you? (Listening to the phone). Oh, are you at a friend's? Why am I only finding out about this now? (Listening to the phone). Why the jealousy scene? A normal question, given the situation, don't you think? So, Matilda, I'm not charging you with anything, I'm just asking you, why are you making me worry? After all, you could at least write a message that you are there, there. (Listening to the phone). What kind of control? What kind of dictatorship? What are you starting? I'm you… (listens to the phone). O.... It's gone. So, I get it, in general, you're fine, I don't have to worry, right? That's it!

He hangs up.

Nikita (exhales, on nerves). That's what this attitude is? Is it really difficult to call, warn… I'm not a stranger to her… Although… Although actually not native. And who am I to her, really? We are not scheduled, we have been living together for a little more than six months… What she does and where she disappears all the time – I don't really know until now. She said she worked remotely, but she didn't tell me the details, and I always tried not to get into the Soul of a person, if he doesn't speak, then there's no need to torture him with questions… But perhaps my views are not correct? Time goes by, and I'm just lost in guesses. She has meetings all the time. Some friends, some ladies' affairs, and always very expensive …, for me, of course. No, I don't mind the money, I earn enough, I have enough for everything with a vengeance, but still … hmm. And really, what do I know about her? In fact, it turns out – nothing… It's strange that I haven't asked myself this question before. All the cases, all the worries, business, contracts, audit…, rat race … Yes…, Matilda and I have an interesting relationship …

Nikita goes to bed without letting the phone out of his hand.

Morning.

Nikita is woken up by a message received on the phone.

Nikita (reads with sleepy eyes, in a sleepy voice). Geli has problems, she asked for support. I'll stay with her, don't lose it. I'll be there in the evening. (YAWNING). Oh, this Gel for me.

After washing up and putting herself in order, Nikita comes up with a seditious thought.

Nikita (having dialed a number from the phone book, into the handset). Semyonych, be healthy. Are you awake? Good. No, nothing happened, so I think I'll call, find out how my security guards are feeling. Is everything okay? Great. Can I write out a bonus? Don't? Need to? Is it necessary or not necessary? That's why I appreciate and respect you, Semenych. Listen, could you run one number for me? I want to know where the object was yesterday, where it moved when, where it is now. Not a problem? Thank you, old man, I'll send the number now, but I'll still write out the award to you and your guys, but not because of this, but just like that. You work smoothly, how many times have you been protected from problems. All right, come on, lyrics aside, I agree.