A light in the flame

“I think we can draw it out,” he said, joining me at the wall. He looked over. “You’ve got to remember it’s not often that gods can use their eather in such a ma

Nodding, I rested my chin on my arm. “But I’m not supposed to even be in the game.”

“There is that.” Nyktos was quiet for a few moments. “Did I ever tell you about Lathan when he was younger?”

He hadn’t. I shook my head.

“He would have these…strange sensations. They always came at night, right as he was about to drift off to sleep,” he told me, resting his chin on his arm like I was. “And without warning, he would feel this sudden pressure in his chest and throat. Like he couldn’t breathe.”

I stilled.

“It was always swift and sudden, causing him to gulp for air. He said the attacks would come in spells, several nights in a row, and then he’d have nothing for weeks. He used to fear that a sekya was visiting him.”

“A what?”

He glanced at me. “It’s a creature that can be found in the Abyss and engages in a particular form of torture. They sit on your chest and steal your eather through your breath.”

“What the fuck?” I muttered, shuddering.

Nyktos chuckled. “My father would never allow the sekya to leave the Abyss. Lathan knew that, but it was the only thing that made sense. It happened for years, but I never noticed until the one night I saw him do it—jerk as if he were waking up suddenly, gasping for air. Nektas was with us. Saw it, too. He taught Lathan similar breathing techniques to what I’ve seen you do.”

“Did he…did he know what caused the attacks?”

“Lathan was never sure, but Nektas said he thought it was anxiety. That even if Lathan weren’t thinking about anything when he was falling asleep, it was the things he thought about during the waking hours catching up to him when his mind was—”

“Quiet?” I whispered.

His gaze flickered to me again. “Yes.”

I faced the walls of the chamber, doubt begi

“First off, I don’t think you freak out. Secondly, what causes you to feel as if you can’t breathe is neither a good nor a bad reason. It just is,” he said, and I arched a brow. “And, finally, you make it sound like it’s impossible for Lathan to have had anxiety.”

“Because a godling is powerful. Strong. Whatever.”

“You have embers of life in you. Primal embers.” His leg brushed mine underwater as he angled his body toward me. “You’re strong. Lathan was just as recklessly brave as you are. None of that has anything to do with the mind.”

Brave.

Strong.

I opened my mouth but fell silent for a couple of moments. “Did…did it ever stop before he…before he died?”

“There were years where he didn’t experience them. At some point, they came back.” He plucked up several strands of my hair that were stuck to my arm and draped them down my back. “But he managed them once he accepted that it wasn’t a sekya coming for him.”

I buried my chin between my arms. “When I was younger, I would hold my breath whenever I felt that way, not just when underwater.” My face felt hot again. “That was before Holland picked up on it. You’d think that would have made the feeling of not being able to breathe worse, but I kind of had the opposite reaction. I don’t know why.”

“Even I don’t know why the body and mind do what they do half the time,” he said. And for some reason, that made me smile a little. “I don’t think any of the Primals do. But if it helps you to do that and doesn’t hurt you, do what you need to do.” He lowered his head toward mine. “Either way, you’re not weak, Sera. Not physically, but more importantly, not mentally. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever met, mortal or not.” The tips of his fingers grazed the curve of my arm. “With or without the embers.”

The crack in my chest throbbed. A knot of emotion swelled so quickly in my throat that even if I had known how to respond to that, I wouldn’t have been able to. The back of my throat burned as I rapidly blinked away dampness I knew had nothing to do with being in the water. I knew I was likely projecting whatever messy feelings popped up, but he’d said I was strong. Not the embers. Me. And that mattered.

Because it reminded me that I mattered.

Pushing off the wall, I turned away from Nyktos and let myself slip underwater before the knot of emotion decided to make an appearance in the form of hot, fat tears. I didn’t know how long I stayed under, but Nyktos didn’t come for me this time. He was waiting when I resurfaced, though. Watching. Our eyes met.

“I’m begi

“Shut up.” I shoved a hand through the water, sending a small wave cresting over his chest.

He raised his brows. “Did you just…splash me?”

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

Nyktos stared at me for several seconds and then placed his palm over the water. He didn’t run his hand through it like I had. There was a charge to the air, and then the water began to rise beneath his palm, spi

“I know you’re impressed into silence,” he drawled from behind the fu

I snapped my mouth shut. That was all I could do as the cyclone of water arced and tipped over. A sound that was half-shriek, half-laugh left me as the fu

“I know.”

Gri

Nyktos laughed. “So demanding.”

But he did it again. And again. Drawing the water into multiple little fu

As our time alone slowly but too quickly came to an end, I felt that noticeable change again. That intangible shift between us as he retrieved towels from a shelf along the back of the chamber. In me as I dressed, finding it difficult to keep my eyes off him and the smile from my face. In him, in the relaxed lines of his features that made him seem so young as he took the time to blot the water from my hair. And I couldn’t help but think this felt like…more.

That we felt like more.

I spent the rest of the day with the young draken and Aios, and even if I hadn’t spent the morning training and then playing in the pool, the hours spent trying to keep Jadis from attempting to fly or set something on fire every other minute would’ve sufficiently exhausted me.

A moment to simply breathe without fear of something going epically wrong only came when Jadis scampered over to where I sat on the couch, lifting her thin, scaled arms to me. I bent to pick her up, but in a sparkling silver shimmer, she shifted into her mortal form, right then and there, naked as the day she was born.

Which caused Reaver to squawk and dart from the chamber faster than I’d ever seen him fly. I sort of wanted to follow him as Ector popped his head into the chamber, saw what had happened, and immediately returned to the hall, obviously wanting nothing to do with what was going on.