A light in the flame

I looked over my shoulder at him with a frown.

He eased past me, quiet as he led the way to my bedchamber. I watched as he entered the room and proceeded to go straight to the bathing chamber. He pushed open that door and inspected the space before going to the balcony doors while I stopped by the settee. There, he shoved the drapes aside and looked out.

“Do you want to check under the bed, too?” I suggested.

He turned, arching a dark brow. “Was Ash wrong? In doubting your motivations?”

“Gods,” I snarled. “Is eavesdropping a talent draken are particularly skilled at, or is it just something you’re really good at?”

Nektas stared blandly at me.

I held his gaze.

“You want to know what I think?”

“No,” I said.

“I’m going to tell you anyway.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I was attempting to be polite,” he replied, and I snorted. “He was wrong.”

I said nothing.

“But he was also right.”

“Well, your commentary was helpful, as always,” I said, shaking my head in frustration. “You know, the thing is, I don’t blame Nyktos for questioning that. Not really. But, honest to gods, seizing this as an opportunity to get to Kolis didn’t even cross my mind.”

“Then who are you more angry with? Ash or yourself?”

“Both?”

He smiled faintly. “You can’t be angry at both.”

I looked away. “Yeah, but being angry doesn’t matter. What Nyktos believes doesn’t matter. What I want doesn’t matter. What does is the fact that Kolis one-upped us—probably without even realizing he did. Now, we will both be summoned, and how can Nyktos convince Kolis that he has no idea how a god Ascended or that he doesn’t know it was Bele?”

“As Ash said, he’s had to convince Kolis of many falsehoods in the past.”

“Like what?” I asked, unable to stop myself.

“That Ash doesn’t hate him with every fiber of his being and wants to see him chained beneath the ground. Kolis doesn’t know that. He thinks that Ash is only testing his limits when he rebels against him or pushes back on something. Kolis believes that Ash is as loyal to him as any other Primal.”

Disbelief rolled through me. “How can Kolis not know the truth when he killed Nyktos’s parents? How can he even think for one second that Nyktos would be loyal after that?”

“Because Ash has convinced him that he feels nothing regarding his mother. That wasn’t difficult for Kolis to believe since Ash never knew her,” he explained. “And he’s convinced Kolis that he hated his father—that he considered Eythos weak and selfish. If Ash hadn’t been successful in hiding his true feelings toward him, Kolis would’ve done worse than what he did after he took the embers.”

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“Kolis killed every god and godling that served under Eythos, ensuring that none could Ascend to replace the Primal of Life.”

“Good gods,” I whispered. “All of them?”

“Those who were not at Court were hunted down across Iliseeum and the mortal realm. Even godlings several generations removed from the Court, those who never went through the Culling, were slaughtered.”

I clamped my mouth shut against the rising bile. I didn’t know what to say, but I suddenly thought of the murdered mortals. The siblings and the babe. Could their deaths have been a result of that? Had Nyktos believed wrong? Or was it that he’d felt he couldn’t tell me at the time?

“If Kolis knew how Ash really felt about him, he would’ve killed every god here,” Nektas continued quietly. “Every mortal and godling. Chained every draken in the Abyss. Kolis would’ve leveled the Shadowlands.”

I sat on the edge of the bed.

“So, convincing him of this will be no different.”

“How…?” I clasped the bed column I sat near. “How can he be that convincing?”

Nektas’s crimson eyes met mine. “It’s the same thing that drives you to be so convincing. That it is his duty to do whatever is necessary to protect as many people as he can.”

I flinched. “I’m not pretending—”

“I’m not talking about Ash.”

He was talking about Kolis—about the duty I knew was mine. One that would allow me to do whatever was necessary. I pressed my lips together. “But it’s different. Kolis hasn’t made any personal attacks against me. There isn’t history between us like there is with him and Nyktos.”

“There isn’t?” Nektas asked quietly.

I stilled. “I’m not her.”

“No, but she is a part of you, Sera.”

Tipping my head back, I stared at the glossy surface of the ceiling. “Yeah, well, if I do look like her, and he summons us before Nyktos gets the embers out of me, we’re screwed. Everyone is screwed.”

“Then we must make sure those embers are not vulnerable for long.”

I lowered my gaze to him.

Nektas watched me. “Why don’t you call him Ash anymore?”

The question caught me off guard. “I don’t know.”

“That’s a lie.”

“How would you know?” I demanded, crossing my arms.

Nektas came forward, his steps surprisingly quiet for someone so large. “Ash is what his father called him.”

I hadn’t known that, and I didn’t think I wanted to know that now.

“For him to introduce himself as such to you meant something,” Nektas added.

“Maybe it did before.” Sighing, I leaned against the column. “But he’s not Ash to me any longer.”

His head tilted, the vertical slits of his pupils expanding until they were almost more commonly shaped. “He is how you wish him to be,” he said. “As you are what you wish to be to those of the Shadowlands and beyond. That is up to you. No one else.”

Chapter 16

There were too many what-ifs circling through my head after Nektas left—too much restless, anxious energy burning its way through me for me to sit still.

I needed to work it off.

And I needed to silence those what-ifs, at least for a little while.

I quickly braided my hair and spent the remainder of the afternoon going through as much training as I could remember and could be done alone. I pictured an imaginary partner, which wasn’t hard. My opponent alternated between Nyktos and me—because I was a

Plus, it helped keep my mind empty. I wasn’t thinking about the summons, Nyktos’s plan, what he could’ve sacrificed in addition to everything he’d already had to do, or the soul that belonged in me. I was a different kind of blank canvas as I stabbed and kicked at the air, but exhaustion found me quicker than it should, and I chalked it up to the missed training sessions. At least, that’s what I decided to believe, because the alternative was the Culling.

I cleaned up using the cool water from that morning. Since it was getting late, I slipped on a flimsy excuse for a nightgown and then tugged on the robe. It felt like hours, yet only minutes had passed when Orphine arrived with di

When would Kolis summon us? Would Nyktos attempt to hide the summons from me? And if he didn’t, what if I looked like Sotoria?

Why did I dread that when I should welcome the possibility? Welcome what Nyktos had accused me of that afternoon.

Because Nyktos had been right. It made it easier for me to do what I needed to.

Except nothing felt easier.

Because what would Nyktos do if we arrived at Kolis’s Court, and the false King recognized me as Sotoria? Would he truly allow Kolis to take me? Or would he intervene? I knew the answer, and it terrified me. If I had been able to escape, I could have made it to Kolis without Nyktos being there. Not only being endangered, but also being put in a situation where he had to choose between the Shadowlands—