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He stared at me for a moment and then barked out a short, ragged laugh. “I suppose that is one way of saying it.”
“Or maybe you two will get lucky and he won’t recognize you.” Nektas came through the open adjoining door with Jadis still sprawled over his shoulder and chest. Reaver followed in his draken form, gliding to the couch. “Jadis wanted to see you before you left,” Nektas explained. “And I decided to eavesdrop.”
“Not shocked to hear that,” I murmured.
At the sound of my voice, Jadis lifted her ruddy cheeks. Blinking sleep-heavy, crimson eyes, she stretched two little arms in my direction as Nektas brought her to me. I didn’t know what to do, but when I lifted my hands, she grasped fistfuls of my hair and bent over, pressing her lips to my forehead.
It was the messiest, wettest, and sweetest kiss I’d ever received.
“Night-night,” she murmured, pulling back.
“That’s her way of saying goodbye,” Nektas explained.
“Night-night,” I whispered, voice strangely thick as I carefully untangled her fingers from my hair.
Her rosy lips parted and spread in a beautiful smile. Then she turned to Nyktos and repeated the same. The strangest thing happened as the Primal moved closer to the little draken. It was like a flush of the muscles. They went loose and then tightened as I watched him bend his head to her and take her tiny arms in a gentle grasp. The wet smack against his forehead and his answering smile made my heart do all kinds of weird things.
I quickly looked away, swallowing the sudden thickness in my throat. There had been nothing fake about his smile. His entire face had warmed. And, gods, that expression, the gentle way he held the child’s arms, said there was a lot more of him that was still alive than he realized.
“I want to go with you two,” Nektas said quietly. “But only you and Ash can answer the summons.”
Clearing my throat, I nodded. “You really think we’ll be lucky?”
“I don’t see why luck couldn’t be on our side this time.” Nektas clasped the back of my neck with his free hand. “I will see you again.”
I believed him.
I just hoped it wasn’t at the begi
Nyktos and I stood on his balcony under the light gray skies. We wouldn’t be traveling by horse. I was about to experience the oddity that was shadowstepping again.
“You ready?” Nyktos asked.
Not at all, but I didn’t say that as I tipped back my head to look at the faint glimmer of stars. All that hurt I’d tucked away just a day ago seemed insignificant in the face of what awaited us. “You know,” I said, heart pounding, “I’ve discovered that I’d rather not know when I’m about to pass out.”
“Understandable.” He was close, standing behind me. “Once you Ascend, you won’t pass out or feel any pain from this. You’ll be able to do it yourself.”
As I touched the smooth railing, once I Ascended felt like a longshot instead of a possibility. “Before we go, can you tell me what to expect? Like what are some of the things Kolis may demand of us?” I asked.
There was a gap of silence and then, “The possibilities are endless,” he said, his tone flat. “Once he demanded that I rip out the heart of a godling who hadn’t bowed as quickly as the others when I passed.”
Embers of eather vibrated as I closed my eyes. “How many of the marks on your skin are because of what he has demanded?”
“One hundred and ten,” he answered.
Bile clogged my throat. He’d known that without having to think about the number.
“I’ve lost count of the atrocities I’ve witnessed,” he continued after a beat. “I used to have to force myself to watch if there was nothing I could do. I miss those days. Because now…now I don’t believe I even bat an eyelash.”
He might have no physical reaction to the horror, but I knew it still got to him. It was in the rasp of his tone. “Have you been there when he…when he gets tired of one of his favorites?”
“I have.”
My stomach continued to churn. “And?”
“And I’ve had to look the other way until I could try to get them out. Sometimes, I was too late to do anything.”
“But you have intervened.” I gripped the railing, thinking of Saion and Rhahar and the Chosen he’d saved.
“When I could be sure my intervention didn’t carry a price others would pay.” He paused. “I wish you didn’t even have to think about that or be in this position.”
I nodded, forcing my grip to loosen on the railing. “I’ll be able to do whatever is necessary.”
“Because you’ve killed upon your mother’s request?”
Unable to speak, I gave a curt nod as I opened my eyes.
“Just remember, no matter what happens, a part of you is good. That ca
That damn knot swelled once more in my throat, replacing the sour taste of bile. “Maybe I’m not a monster, but I, like you, am capable of monstrous acts. And when I really think about that, I’m not sure there’s really a difference between the two.”
“Then all of us, those good and bad, are a little monstrous,” he said.
Preparing myself, I turned to Nyktos. “I’m ready.”
He took my hands in his, and the charge of energy danced up my arms. He fitted me to his chest, and the contact sent a startling rush of sensations through me that I ordered myself to ignore.
“Hold on,” he said, his voice roughening.
Inhaling sharply, I placed my hands against the front of his tunic, breathing in the scent of citrus.
His cool breath skimmed my cheek. “A bit tighter than that, Sera.”
“I don’t remember being required to hold on tighter before.”
“You held me as if your life depended on it before,” he remarked.
“I don’t recall doing that,” I muttered.
Nyktos chuckled as he folded an arm over my lower back. His head dropped, and his breath touched the curve of my neck, eliciting an unwanted shiver.
The air charged, and Nyktos’s body hummed against mine with power. The white mist I’d seen in the Great Hall in Wayfair didn’t come from the floor this time. It came from Nyktos, heavy and thick. It swirled around us, laced with dark shadows. My chest tightened as the swirling mist reached my hips. I locked up.
“Breathe with me,” he said, dragging his hand to the center of my back as his chest rose against mine and held for a count of four, then exhaled. I matched his next breath as the mist churned at my shoulders. “Breathe.”
Nyktos’s lips touched the same spot Jadis had kissed as the mist swallowed us. The Shadowlands fell away, taking me with it.
And I held on.
I blinked.
That was what it felt like this time.
I simply blinked, and when I opened my eyes, we were standing under a shimmery canopy of golden leaves. The branches above our heads were so heavy with them that the glow cast upon us didn’t come from the patches of blue sky but from the sun reflecting off the leaves. I’d never seen anything like them.
Cool fingers touched my cheek as I heard the soft trill of birds calling to one another, a sound I hadn’t heard since arriving in the Shadowlands. Nyktos drew my gaze to his wide, swirling eyes. “Sera?” he whispered.
“Yeah?”
He was quiet as he stared down at me, and I began to grow concerned. “You barely went unconscious.”
I hadn’t realized I had gone unconscious at all. “Is that a bad thing?”
His jaw flexed. “We need to get those embers out of you,” he said, still whispering. “Soon.”
My heart tripped over itself as I stepped back, looking around. The trunks of the cluster of trees we stood in glittered with specks of gold. “They’re beautiful.”
Nyktos’s hand fell away. “They’re called trees of Aios.”