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Get the dress in forest green. It compliments your skin tone. Though there is nothing you could wear that wouldn’t take my breath away.
The corners of my lips tip up and a deep blush taints my cheeks. This entire time I thought he was trying to keep his distance and ignore me.
Seeing as you have been telling me about your day, I shall tell you about mine.
Today I watched the most otherworldly soul smile as she gazed upon a flower. Though my heart is greedy because I only want her to smile for me.
Stupid tears well in my eyes. I wipe it away before it can fall onto the paper, and I grab another letter.
Heaven does not compare to your beauty.
Then another letter.
Every day I watch you grow, and I could not be prouder.
And another.
You are almost there, my love. A while longer, and we will have an eternity together.
Then another.
You’re right. If I drank coffee, I would have a short black.
One by one, I unroll the letters and try to wipe away the tears before they fall. I feel like I can’t breathe, not because it hurts but because this is what I’ve been missing. He is what I have been missing.
This whole time I thought the accident was the worst thing that could have happened to me and that nothing good could ever come from it. But deep down, I knew—I really always knew—I belonged to death. The world of the living isn’t meant for me. Despite the life I led before the accident, I didn’t truly feel alive. Something was always off.
A tuft of black catches my eye from within the drawer, hidden beneath the mounds of parchment. I fish through the letters until my fingers wrap around something soft and fluffy.
A sob escapes my lips when I pull it out and stare into the different colored eyes of the stuffed animal. Black fur and white socks, and an asymmetrical pool of white going from its neck, down to its stomach. Rafe. Letum made a toy dog that looks exactly like my old boy.
This time, when the tears fall, I don’t stop them. I shove my face into the animal and pour my eyes out.
What did I do to deserve Letum’s attention? How is it that the most thoughtful, caring, and attentive person that I have ever met is death itself?
Something soft hits my head. I suck in a breath and snap my gaze away from Rafe in time to watch a letter tumble down my shoulder.
My heart hammers in my chest with an intoxicating mix of excitement and nerves as I unwrap the letter.
If soon ca
I will give you a hint: To end, you must go to the begi
I frown. What does he mean? Is he finally going to let me see him? What does he mean by ‘the begi
Also, what am I ending? He can’t possibly mean ending our relationship.
As I stare at the letter, the realization hits me. I know where to find him. I pull my phone out and send him words that he’s said to me.
Me: I’m coming for you.
My feet fly down the stairs as I run to my car. I’m barely breathing. Barely thinking rationally. I’m blinded by thoughts of him. He’s finally letting me see him. Finally.
The city lights disappear as I get on the road that leads out into the forest. The moon is nowhere to be seen, hidden beneath fields of vicious clouds.
This whole time he was getting me to face my past and move beyond the things that were holding me back. He got rid of Evan, not for laying a hand on me, but because he was holding me back. Death left me letters not just to keep me standing, but to get my legs to move me forward.
Beneath my ribs, my heart rattles and sings with anticipation and fear and excitement. I’ve avoided this road since the accident, refusing to drive to Evan’s parent’s house just because this whole street is haunted by memories of that night. Yet, here I am, speeding toward it.
Maybe I’m not ready to face this place. I don’t think I’ll ever be. But I am beyond ready to drive past it.
I slow down and anxious critters crawl up my neck as I near the site that burned my sister alive. I immediately grab hold of the necklace to remind myself that Letum will be there.
The tree looks so i
I pull over to the side of the road, leaving my headlights directed straight at the tree and the hooded man standing in front of it. For one second, everything stops. The world around me doesn’t exist except for him. Then everything flies by as I run toward him, trampling over grass and fallen leaves.
He doesn’t move a muscle as I stand before him, holding my breath so he doesn’t hear me pant. My entire being freezes when I look into the space beneath his hood. A dimpled chin. Soft, supple lips. A lethally edged jaw. High cheekbones. All are shadowed beneath the hood but illuminated by the headlights.
I hold my breath as I reach out for his hood. For the first time, he doesn’t stop me when I trail my fingers along the soft cotton edge of his hoodie. I pull the material off his face and almost stagger back from his beauty. He’s exactly as I thought he looked, raven colored hair and thick black lashes fa
My heart seems to slow, and everything comes rushing back to me, overloading my senses so much that I almost buckle over. I know him. I know him like the back of my hand. Almost every night, he would help me escape, pulling me into the space between dreams to talk. His bedroom, the forest, the beach; I’ve been to all of them a hundred times before. I’ve gazed into his eyes a thousand times before, and it makes me melt every time.
Tears stream down my cheek as I drink him in. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I think about it every time he let me see his face.
I remember now. I remember every single time we’ve sat on the beach to watch the storm, while he told me tales of the world that has gone by. Every time he had me perched on his bed as he read me so
I was another person in those dreams, yet I was the same. That Lili held all of the memories of the nights before, all of the sweet words whispered by Death. She knew that upon waking, I would forget all about the dreams. I wish I had never forgotten about him, but I’ll never forget again.
I forgot all about Death because of Dr. Mallory’s medication and the wound on my heart that refused to heal. Now that I remember Death, I would spend an eternity committing every word to memory and still be starved for more.
“Now you see, my night monster.”
I nod. His love. I am his; I always was, I just didn’t know it. He may not have taken my soul the night of the accident, but he did claim it. My body and soul stopped being mine the second I saw him. He’s the only one who has ever truly understood me; the loneliness, the call for the darkness, watching everyone I cared about die.
Without thinking, I stand on the tips of my toes and wrap my arms around his neck to bask in the smell that has been imprinted on my soul. His lips press against mine and our kiss is filled with so many firsts, and no lasts. The kiss is a promise of forever. Forever remembering every forgotten word. Forever relishing in every touch. Forever with Death.