The Secret History

1 was a bit uncomfortable – after the story I'd just heard – with the Callimachean epigrams having to do with flushed cheeks, and wine, and the kisses of fair-limbed youths by torchlight. I'd chosen instead a rather sad one, which in English runs as follows: 'At morn we buried Melanippus; as the sun set the maiden Basilo died by her own hand, as she could not endure to lay her brother on the pyre and live; and the house beheld a twofold woe, and all Gyrene bowed her head, to see the home of happy children made desolate.'

I finished my composition in less than an hour. After I'd gone through it and checked the endings, I washed my face and changed my shirt and went, with my books, over to Bu

Of the six of us, Bu

'Oh, hello, old man,' said Bu

Charles, get him a cup of coffee, would you? No need to wash it, it's clean enough,' he said stridently, as Charles got a dirty cup from the drain board and turned on the tap. 'Do your prose composition?'

'Yeah.'

'Which epigram?'

'Twenty-two.'

'Hmn. Sounds like everybody went for the tearjerkers. Charles did that one about the girl who died, and all her friends missed her, and you, Camilla, you picked '

'Fourteen,' said Camilla, without looking up, pressing rather savagely on the collar band with the tip of the iron.

'Hah. I picked one of the racy ones myself. Ever been to France, Richard?'

'No,' I said.

'Then you better come with us this summer.'

'Us? Who?'

'Henry and me.'

I was so taken aback that all I could do was blink at him.

'France?' I said.

'May wee. Two-month tour. A real doozy. Have a look.' He tossed me the magazine, which I now saw was a glossy brochure.

I glanced through it. It was a lollapalooza of a tour, all right a 'luxury hotel harge cruise' which began in the Champagne country and then went, via hot air balloon, to Burgundy for more barging, through Beaujolais, to the Riviera and Ca

'Looks great, doesn't it?' said Bu

'Fabulous.'

'Rome was all right but actually it was kind of a sinkhole when you get right down to it. Besides, I like to gad about a little more myself. Stay on the move, see a few of the native customs. Just between you and me, I bet Henry's going to have a ball with this.'

I bet he will, too, I thought, staring at a picture of a woman holding up a stick of French bread at the camera and gri

The twins were studiously avoiding my eye, Camilla bent over Bu

'Of course, this balloon thing's great,' Bu

'Look here, I think this is going to take several minutes,' said Camilla abruptly. 'It's almost nine. Why don't you go ahead with Richard, Charles. Tell Julian not to wait.'

'Well, it's not going to take you that much longer, is it?' said Bu

Where'd you learn how to iron, anyway?'

'I never did. We send our shirts to the laundry.'

Charles followed me out the door, a few paces behind. We walked through the hall and down the stairs without a word, but once downstairs he stepped close behind me and, catching my arm, pulled me into an empty card room. In the twenties and thirties, rhere had been a hridge fad at Hampden; when the enthusiasm faded, the rooms were never subsequently put to any function and no one used them now except for drug deals, or typing, or illicit romantic trysts.

He shut the door. I found myself looking at the ancient card table – inlaid at its four corners with a diamond, a heart, a club and a spade.

'Henry called us,' said Charles. He was scratching at the raised edge of the diamond with his thumb, his head studiously down.

'When?'

'Early this morning.'

Neither of us said anything for a moment.

'I'm sorry,' said Charles, glancing up.

'Sorry for what?'

'Sorry he told you. Sorry for everything. Camilla's all upset.'

He seemed calm enough, tired but calm, and his intelligent eyes met mine with a sad, quiet candor. All of a sudden I felt terribly upset. I was fond of Francis and Henry but it was unthinkable that anything should happen to the twins. I thought, with a pang, of how kind they had always been; of how sweet Camilla was in those first awkward weeks and how Charles had always had a way of showing up in my room, or turning to me in a crowd with a tranquil assumption – heartwarming to me that he and I were particular friends; of walks and car trips and di

From somewhere overhead I heard the shriek and groan of water pipes. We looked at each other.

'What are you going to do?' I said. It seemed the only question I had asked of anyone for the last twenty-four hours, and yet no one had given me a satisfactory answer.

He shrugged, a fu

When we got to Julian's office, Henry and Francis were already there. Francis hadn't finished his essay. He was scratching rapidly at the second page, his fingers blue with ink, while Henry proofread the first one, dashing in subscripts and aspirants with his fountain pen.

He didn't look up. 'Hello,' he said. 'Close the door, would you?'

Charles kicked at the door with his foot. 'Bad news,' he said.

'Very bad?'

'Financially, yes.'

Francis swore, in a quick hissing underbreath, without pausing in his work. Henry dashed in a few final marks, then fa

'Well for goodness' sakes,' he said mildly. 'I hope it can wait.

I don't want to have to think about it during class. How's that last page coming, Francis?'

'Just a minute,' said Francis, laboriously, his words lagging behind the hurried scrawl of his pen.

Henry stood behind Francis's chair and leaned over his shoulder and began to proofread the top of the last page, one elbow resting on the table. 'Camilla's with him?' he said.

'Yes. Ironing his nasty old shirt.'

'Hm

'Francis, you need the optative here instead of the subjunctive.'

Francis reached up quickly from his work – he was nearly at the end of the page – to change it.