Binding 13

He tightened his hand on the wheel but made no response.

Irritated by the sudden formality in his voice, not to mention the fact that he had spent the past fifteen minutes ignoring me, I glared at the side of his face and growled, "Why would I bother telling anyone anyway?"

"Because," he bit out, keeping his attention to the road. "I know what most girls are like."

Most girls?

If he considered me to be like most girls, then why spend all that time talking to me?

Why ask me all those questions and make me feel comfortable enough to answer him if he considered me to be just like most girls?

Why bother with me at all?

"You're being ridiculous," I muttered.

"I'm being careful," Joh

I folded my arms across my chest. "Fine."

"Fine?" he repeated warily.

"Yeah," I deadpa

"Great." He blew out a heavy sigh and said, "Thanks," following it up several seconds later with, "I appreciate it."

Silence followed; thick, heavy, and unbearable.

I was conflicted by the turn of events.

Was he playing me?

Had this been a big game to him?

Messing around with my emotions by being kind and roping me into a false sense of security with all that getting to know each other talk back at the school?

Dangling the prospect of a friendship in my face with all that niceness and small-talk and then snatching it all away?

It wouldn’t be the first time this happened.

I should have seen this coming and I was disappointed in myself for letting my guard down so easily around him.

Dammit!

"Are you okay?" he asked, breaking the silence.

I didn’t respond because I couldn’t.

I was concentrating too hard on not crying.

"Sha

I didn’t probe or push him to finish whatever he had been trying to say.

I didn’t want to hear it.

Retracting from the current source of my confusion and frustration – which was my designated driver – I focused all my efforts on ignoring him and keeping my emotions at bay.

If I could jump out of the car right now, I would, but he was a fast driver and I didn’t fancy my chances of surviving the post-jump impact.

"What are you thinking?" Joh

It was a deep, hilly ascent to my house with several hundred attached houses ru

Many of the houses were boarded up, others were dilapidated with untended gardens – my own included – but right now, I was too a

I swung my gaze to glare at him. "You want to know what I'm thinking?"

Joh

"Fine," I snapped, blinking back the familiar sting of tears as I proceeded to tell him exactly what I was thinking. "I think you're paranoid about people finding out you're injured because you know you shouldn’t be playing."

The words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to check myself.

But instead of apologizing or trying to take them back, I surged forward, shocking myself with the emotion in my tone.

"I think you're in denial about your healing process and I know you're hurt. You limp at school. Did you know that? All the time. Others mightn’t notice it, but I do. I see it and you do it all the time! So, I think you're playing a dangerous game with your body, Joh

I had no idea where this was coming from, but the words were bursting to come out of my mouth so I let them spill.

"I think this was a terrible mistake – I should have never accepted a lift from you. I think you overreacted tonight. I think you handled yourself terribly. And I think it would be best if you and I didn’t talk anymore."

I blew out a huge breath, chest heaving from the sheer height of vocal exertion.

My face was burning with heat, but I was proud of myself for getting that off my chest.

It was uncharacteristic of me to have an outburst of this magnitude with anyone outside of my family, but I was glad.

I guess it spoke volumes that I felt heated and weirdly comfortable enough around this boy to lose my shit, but I was too worked up to delve into the workings of that particular conundrum.

For now, I would remain stewing in my apprehension and disappointment.

"Listen, I appreciate your concern," he finally bit out, pausing for a moment before adding, "At least I think that's what that was. But it's not necessary. I've got it handled –"

"You clearly don’t," I shot back, interrupting him.

"You have no fucking clue of what you're talking about!" he snapped back. "I get that you mean well, but I know my own shit. I know my own body."

"Of course, I don’t," I muttered, turning my face away to look out the passenger window. "Like most girls."

"You don’t," he continued to argue. "You don’t know me, Sha

All out of steam, I exhaled a deflating breath.

"You're right, Joh

"Stop doing that!" he snapped, ru

"Doing what?"

"Twisting my words," he shot back angrily. "Not giving me a chance to explain. It's a dick girl-move and I can't – fuck!" he roared, slamming on the brakes to avoid a rogue bicycle that was strewn in the middle of the road. "For Christ's sake. What the hell is wrong with people? Does the road look like a goddamn place to park a bike?"

"You can let me out here," I stated flatly, unclicking my seatbelt. "I can walk the rest of the way."

I had the car door open and was out of my seat before he had a chance to respond.

Slamming my door shut, I opened the back door and reached into the piles of rubbish and dirty clothes for my bag.

"Sha

"Bye, Joh

I didn’t turn back when he rolled his window down and called my name three times.

And I didn’t turn around when he pulled up at the footpath, choosing to slip through the alleyway instead, with my head down and the sting of bitter regret weighing heavily on my shoulders.