Binding 13

8

Explosive Diarrhea

Sha

Saturday was my favorite day of the week for a whole host of reasons.

First: it was the first day of the weekend and the furthest from Monday.

Second: there was no school.

Third and most importantly: it was GAA day.

Joey, Ollie, and Tadhg were always out of the house for most of the day on Saturday with training and matches.

Thankfully, that meant my father was out, too, participating in activities not pertaining to alcohol consumption.

What made this particular Saturday better than most was the fact that not only was my father out of the house all day with the boys, but he was heading to his friend's stag party in Waterford tonight.

It was with this knowledge, and Mam's permission, that I agreed to go over to Claire's house on Saturday afternoon to hang out with both her and Lizzie.

I had all of my chores completed by three o clock – which consisted of cleaning the house from top to bottom, putting on half a dozen loads of laundry, and cooking the di

And although I had almost had a heart attack when her brother Hughie rolled up outside my house with his girlfriend to pick me up, I had managed to compose myself enough to climb into the back of his car and accept the lift to their house.

All evening we had stuffed our faces with junk food, watched re-runs of One Tree Hill, and gossiped about absolute nonsense.

It was the best Saturday I'd had in years.

By seven o clock, I was bloated and strewn on Claire's bed, suffering from a sugar overload, and listening to Lizzie drone on about how much she despised Pierce.

"I don’t know what I ever saw in him," she grumbled for the hundredth time. "But whatever it was, it wasn’t worth giving him my v-card."

"Shut the front door!" Claire squealed, jumping up from her perch on my legs to gape at Lizzie. "You had sex with Pierce?"

"You're not a virgin, Lizzie?" My mouth fell open. "But you're only sixteen."

"Don’t look at me all judgy," she grumbled. "Just because you've never seen a dick."

"I haven't," Claire offered, holding her hand up. "Not even the tip."

"Neither have I," I fully admitted, shaking my head. "I've never even kissed a boy."

"That's just sad, Shan," Lizzie retorted.

I flamed beetroot red.

"Don’t be a bitch," Claire quipped. "Tell us about it."

Lizzie shrugged. "What's to tell?"

"When did it happen?" I asked.

"Thursday."

"And you didn’t think to tell us?" Claire squeaked. "Oh my god, Liz, we were in school with you all day Friday and you never once mentioned anything!"

Lizzie shrugged but didn’t respond.

Claire and I both eye-balled each other before Claire asked, "Where did it happen?"

"In his car."

"Ugh," we both groaned in sympathy.

No girl wanted her first time to happen in the backseat of a car.

"Where?"

"The GAA grounds."

"Ugh," we chorused again.

"Yeah," Lizzie deadpa

"He broke up with you?" I gasped.

"I'll kick his ass," Claire hissed.

"No," Lizzie responded. "But he's been acting all standoffish since."

"What a fucker," Claire growled.

"Yep," Lizzie agreed.

"Did it hurt really bad?" I asked, curious.

"Like a burning hot poker being rammed in your cooch," she replied.

Claire and I winced in sympathy.

"Are you okay?" I asked, feeling a deep surge of sympathy for my friend. Lizzie was hard as nails and rarely showed an ounce of emotion, but this was a big deal for any girl.

"I'm always okay, Shan," was her clipped response.

"See, that is exactly why nothing is going inside my area," Claire declared with a shudder, flopping back down and resting her head on my legs "I think I'd die if I saw a penis coming towards me."

"Claire," I chuckled. "Stop."

"She's serious," Lizzie informed me. "She's afraid of the D."

"It's true," Claire stated without an ounce of embarrassment. "I've only kissed one boy – Jamie Kelleher. We were going out for six weeks in second year, and when he tried to push my hand down the front of his jeans at the school disco, I screamed at him."

"You didn’t," I gasped.

"Oh, she did," Lizzie replied. "At the top of her lungs. Caused a right scene at the disco."

"I panicked," Claire defended, gri

"What happened?"

"He called me a frigit bitch and broke up with me right there on the dancefloor in front of the entire school," she replied.

"What a creep," I spat.

"It's okay," Lizzie interjected. "Claire got her own back on him, didn’t you?"

"Not intentionally," she objected.

"Oh, come off it." Lizzie rolled her eyes. "You knew exactly what he would do when you went crying to him.

"Who?" I asked. "What did you do?"

Lizzie smirked. "She went ru

I arched a brow. "Who?"

"Gibsie," Lizzie filled in.

"Oh my god." My eyes lit up. "What did he do?"

"What do you think he did?" Lizzie shot back. "He jumped in to defend her honor."

"He didn’t!"

"He did," Claire chirped gleefully.

"He broke Jamie's nose," Lizzie added.

Claire sighed happily. "It was epic."

"You could’ve come to me," Lizzie said. "I would’ve gladly kneed that eejit in the balls on your behalf –"

Claire's bedroom door burst inwards then, startling all three of us.

"Oh my god," Claire shrieked, tossing a pillow at the tall, blond boy who had invaded her privacy.

"I have a problem!" Gibsie a

"Gerard!" Claire hissed, glaring. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"There's no time," he replied. "I need your help, babe."

"I'm not your babe," Claire grumbled and tossed another pillow at him. "What if I had been naked in here?"

"Then I would die a happy man," he retorted as the second pillow smacked against his chest. "It's the cat."

She frowned. "Brian?"

"You named your cat Brian?" I chuckled.

"He's not my cat," Gibsie replied. "I don’t even like cats."

I frowned. "Then whose is he?"

"My Mam's," Gibsie replied. "He's her pride and joy." He turned back to Claire and said, "He's had an episode."

"Another one?" Scrambling off her bed, she adjusted her pajama shorts and padded towards him. "Where?"

"Uh…" Shrugging sheepishly, Gibsie gestured to the door.

"He's in my house?" Claire squealed.

"Why is your cat in her house?" Lizzie asked the question on everyone's mind.

"He wasn’t feeling well," Gibsie replied. "I took him for a walk."

"You took your cat for a walk?" Lizzie shook her head. "Boy needs institutionalizing."

"It's not that strange," he huffed defensively. "I live across the street."

"Did you put a leash on him?"

"Obviously." Gibsie looked at her like it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. "How else was I supposed to walk him over here?"

Lizzie shook her head. "Then I stand by my previous statement."

"Wow, you're a barrel of laughs, aren’t ya?" Gibsie shot back sarcastically. "Pierce is a lucky lad."

Lizzie responded by flipping him off.