Binding 13

"Fucking try it," Joh

"Hey – hey, it's okay," I whispered, cupping his face to steady him. "You're okay."

He shook his head again, eyes looking slightly glazed before finding focus on my face.

"I'm sorry," he croaked out, voice slurring a little.

"For what?"

"For not –" He closed his eyes and exhaled a pained groan, "kissing you back that night."

"Don’t worry about it," I whispered, clutching his face with my hands. "Don’t even think about it right now, okay?"

"I wanted to," he grunted, clenching his eyes shut as a huge shiver rolled through his body. "I promise."

"Joh

He looked like he was in so much pain, I could hardly take it.

"He needs everything checked over," Coach barked then, tone laced with concern. "Blood work. X-rays. Scans. Whatever he tells you, ignore it. He's a gobby little shit who won't tell you when there's a problem."

"Understood," the female paramedic with the clipboard mused.

"He's under contract with the Irish Rugby Academy," Coach added, scrubbing his face with his hand. "All of his notes are in Cork, but he needs to be wrapped in cotton wool –"

"Understood," the male paramedic replied. Turning to Joh

"Maybe your girlfriend can step outside, Joh

Joh

God, he was shaking so bad my whole body was vibrating from the contact.

"Yes." Coach nodded and turned his attention to me. "Miss Lynch, I suggest you go take your seat on the bus," Coach barked, dismissing me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, turning to look at Joh

He didn’t look okay.

He looked like a cornered animal.

Wounded and desperate.

He stared at me for the longest moment, blue eyes churning with anxiety, before nodding in resignation and releasing my hand.

"I can stay?" I whispered, unsure whether leaving him was the right thing to do. "Or wait outside?"

It didn’t feel okay or right to leave him.

It felt all wrong actually.

"I'll be okay," Joh

"Out, Miss Lynch," Coach barked, pushing me towards the door.

"Can I go with him?" I heard myself ask. "Please?"

"You can go back to the bus like I told you," he ordered. "Now out!"

Shame, guilt, and responsibility filled my body as I moved for the door.

"Bye, Joh

His painfilled eyes landed on mine. "Bye, Sha

I love you.

I am so in love with you.

Please be okay.