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Oops, I did it again
Sha
I had no rational explanation for why I had spent the last hour and a half standing outside the clubhouse in the pouring rain.
I didn’t want to think about it too much.
My feelings were concerning me, but not as much as what was going on inside that changing room.
I should have gone back to the bus with Claire and Lizzie and everyone else from our school, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t seem to get my feet to move in the direction of common sense.
Instead, I waited.
And I worried.
And I desperately fought the urge to barge my way into the visitors changing room.
Skulking outside in the darkness, I watched as players from both Royce and Tommen filed out of the clubhouse, followed by coaches, Mr. Mulcahy, and the match doctor.
No one seemed to notice me and I wasn’t surprised.
All of those boys seemed to be at least a foot taller than me.
That was, until Gibsie came out.
"Hey, little Sha
"Oh, I was just…I wanted to…. he was…and I…" Flapping my hands helplessly, I gave up and shrugged. "I was worried."
"About Joh
My shoulders sagged and I nodded in defeat. "Is it bad?"
Gibsie frowned, looking uncertain.
"Come on, Gibsie," I pleaded. "Just tell me."
"He's fine, little Sha
"Don’t lie to me," I strangled out. "Please." Exhaling a ragged breath, I continued, "I need to know."
"He's in a bad way," he admitted quietly. "Depending on what the doctors say when he gets to the hospital, he's looking at some serious time out of the game." Exhaling heavily, he ran a hand through his hair. "He's out for the final, for sure."
"I don’t want to know if he can play rugby or not," I squeezed out as a wave of guilt swallowed me up. "I want to know if he is okay! Him. Joh Gibsie tilted his head to one side, studying me with a curious look. "Well, aren't you a keeper?" he finally mused, tone low. "What?" "Never mind." Gibsie shook his head and exhaled heavily. "I heard coach calling around hotels to see if any place can put us up for the night." Grimacing, he added, "Reckons Joh Oh, god. My heart sank. I knew he shouldn’t play. I knew he was hurt. I knew it and I did nothing. I should have said something to his mother. I should have said something to Coach. I knew he was playing injured. Like always, I did fucking nothing. "This is my fault," I choked out. "Because you knew?" Gibsie whispered. I dropped my head in shame. "Then it's my fault, too," he told me. "Go on in, little Sha "Uh, maybe I shouldn’t –" "You should," he interrupted me by saying. "I should?" I asked, uncertain. Gibsie nodded. "You should." And without another word, he walked off in the direction of the carpark towards the school bus. I stood there for another solid five minutes trying to talk myself down from the ledge I was threatening to jump from. It didn’t work. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Nothing except finding him. Trembling from head to toe, I took the plunge and hurried inside the building and down the concrete floored corridor, not stopping until I was standing outside a white door with the word Visitors engraved on it. Inhaling a huge, steadying breath, I pushed the door inwards and stepped inside the empty dressing room, only to be immediately assaulted by the stench of Deep Heat. It was so potent that it caused my eyes to water. Steam was wafting from an archway that I presumed led to the shower area. Most changing rooms had the same layout: big room, white brick walls, wooden benches lining either side of the room, and showers situated at the back. He's in the shower, you idiot. What are you doing? Get out. Get out now! Embarrassed, I swung around and bolted for the door, only to halt in my tracks when Joh "Sha Mortified, I swung around to face him. "Hi," I strangled, forcing myself to breathe even though it felt like my heart accelerated in my chest at the sight of him. Joh Tonight's were black. "Hi," Joh "I wanted to check on you," I blurted out, desperately trying not to stare at the way his stomach muscles contracted when he made his way over to the bench, putting all his weight on the crutch. "I was worried." He was limping again, blatantly obvious now, and I was instantly alert. Alert and concerned. "I am worried," I muttered. "One of those assholes from Royce ripped me with his boot," Joh He sat down gingerly, rested the crutch beside him, and placed the towel over his right thigh. "Ripped you?" I choked out, horrified. Oh, god. Exhaling heavily, Joh "You didn’t get up, Joh "Passed out from the pain," he reluctantly admitted. "They're sending you to the hospital?" I offered, forcing myself to stay where I was and not run to him like I desperately wanted to. "For tests?" "It's protocol given the circumstances." Exhaling heavily, he leaned back and rested his head against the tiled wall at his back. "It's a fucking joke." Liar. I know you're going to have surgery. "How bad is it, Joh He snapped his gaze on me, blue eyes full of heat. "I'm okay, Sha More lies. I could hear how much pain he was in from the way he was gritting his words as he spoke. He was hurting. And he was scared. "Are you sure?" I pressed. He looked at me, blue eyes full of heat. "Are you?" "I don’t know." I shrugged helplessly. "I'm so scared for you." Joh "I should leave you be." I clasped my hands together and swallowed deeply. "I'll uh, go wait on the bus." I turned around and hurried for the door. "Can you stay with me?" My feet stopped and my heart sped up. I turned back to look at him. "Huh?" "Please," Joh My heart constricted tightly in my chest, making it hard to breathe. "I can go and get Gibsie?" I offered weakly. Joh I knew I should leave. I should walk out of this room and take my seat on the bus. It would be the right thing to do. The sensible thing. But I wouldn’t. Because I couldn’t leave him. Clumsily, I moved towards him, not stopping until I was sitting down beside him.