Binding 13

59

Hushed whispers and true colors

Sha

Sitting on a bus with Joh

When Mrs. Moore, our kooky guidance counsellor, called for everyone's attention and started passing out quizzes and games for us to play, I had expected Joh

But that's not what he did.

No, Joh

Because we were sitting together, we were teamed up for the games and tasks, and managed to work together in a strange sort of harmony, completing our games and activities with ease.

The games we were given were dumb and childish, but after about an hour, I felt myself completely relax with him.

It also didn’t hurt that my partner seemed to be this freakish genius who, when every pair was given a Rubik’s Cube to solve, completed ours with ease in under ten minutes.

It was seriously impressive, considering no other person on the bus had solved their cube.

Every single quiz we were given, or competitive task against the other couples, we won.

Well, Joh

But he was my teammate so that meant I won, too.

I had never won so many pointless competitions in my life – or Easter eggs.

I'd never won anything before today, actually.

We had a stack of twelve chocolate eggs on the floor because the boy seemed to just shine and excel at everything he put his mind to.

Twelve eggs.

Tadhg, Ollie, and Sean were going to be thrilled.

Joh

Both curious and intrigued, I studied him during our reflection sessions – which was an actual thing Mrs. Moore liked to do – absorbing every little detail, taking note of the elected variety of songs he listened to, and the way he timed his food intakes, and how many times he thrummed his finger on his thigh– which was constantly.

He appeared cool, calm, and composed, but if you looked beneath the surface you could see that he was like a caged animal inside this bus.

Joh

I was sure he was doing this because he needed to stretch out his long legs.

During our first reflection session, forty minutes into the trip, Joh

During the next session, he checked his watch and ate a banana.

The one after that, he did another time check and devoured a protein bar.

I was far too aware of him but it was impossible not to be.

When the bus driver pulled over at some filling-station two hours into the journey, the rest of the team and students hurried off to use the bathroom and buy supplies, but Joh

"Do you want to go into the shop?" he asked, offering to move for me.

I shook my head. "No, that's okay, I'm not hungry."

And I have no money.

"You sure?" he asked, lowering himself back onto his seat, legs brushing against mine in the process. "I can get you something if you –"

"No, no, I don’t need anything," I quickly cut him off. "Thanks for offering."

"If you're sure?"

"I am."

Joh

I watched out of the corner of my eye as he pulled off the lid, revealing a selection of steamed vegetables, four plain, skinless chicken breasts, and a couple of sachets of cracked black pepper.

"Are you going to get that heated up?" I heard myself ask, my mouth inquiring without my brain's permission.

"Why?" He turned to smirk at me. "Do you have a microwave in your bag?"

"No, but they might have one in the shop," I stated, forcing myself not to look away. "It'll taste better if it's warm."

"Nah, I'm used to it," he replied and then shoveled a forkful into his mouth. "Besides, I'm eating for fuel, not taste."

"That sounds dreadful," I blurted out.

Joh

"Do you want to go sit with them for lunch?" I pointed out the window to where a bunch of Joh

"I'm happy here," he quickly dismissed.

"Are you really never allowed to eat normal food?" I couldn’t stop myself from asking, remembering what he told me that day at the pub. "I know you're in training –" I scrunched my nose up at the thought before adding, "But do you seriously never get to have a day off from it?"

Now Joh

"Well, yeah, of course I do," I mumbled, pushing down my discomfort. "But all the other lads on your team are eating chicken fillet rolls and deli food. And you're eating a pre-packed meal."

"Yeah, well, all the other lads on the team don’t have a bitchy nutritionist to contend with," he explained between bites. "Or a truckload of coaches and scouts breathing down their necks."

Huh.

I thought about that for a moment.

"Do you mind?" I asked then.

He smirked. "No, baby, I don’t mind."

My heart stopped in my chest.

Joh

"It's okay," I whispered. "It's fine."

He looked at me with a pained expression and then exhaled heavily.

Shaking his head, he tucked his lunch box back into his bag and rubbed his forehead.

Desperate to break the clammy tension enveloping us, I blurted out, "Teach me about rugby."

Joh

"I'm being forced to watch you guys play again," I replied. "I should know what I'm watching." Shrugging, I added, "Like, what position do you play on the team?"

"I play center," he explained, still looking at me with a puzzled expression. "Outside center is where I'm most comfortable."

"Okay." I nodded, absorbing the information. "So, do you go in the scrums and stuff?"

Joh

"What?" I shot back defensively. "I've only watched one of your games and the rules and positions went clean over my head. I've already told you that I'm a GAA girl."

"I know." Chuckling, he held his hands up and said, "I'm not judging."

"But you are laughing," I admonished.

He stared at me for the longest moment before asking, "You really want me to teach you?"

I nodded. "I want to know."

Joh

"I think it's meditating once we're back on the road," I snickered.

"Stop." Joh

I frowned at his request but didn’t question him.

Instead, I slipped my hand into the front pocket of my schoolbag, retrieved a small notebook and pen, and handed them to him.

"The fuck is this?" Joh