Binding 13

Sookie padded out of the room and he quickly shut the door, expression thunderous.

God…

"I'm sorry," I croaked out, pulling myself up on my elbows. "I was just, uh, playing with your dog."

"Don’t be sorry," Joh

Keeping his back to me, Joh

And then he did something I knew I would lose countless years of sleep over: he turned back around to face me, grabbed both sides of my towel, and pushed them together.

To cover me, I realized.

Because I had obviously been flashing him.

Because let's face it, that was exactly the kind of luck I had.

"I'm so sorry," I choked out, mortified.

"It's okay," he told me in a gravelly tone of voice.

"Did I –did you see my…"

He nodded.

Oh god!

"I am so sorry."

"Stop saying sorry," he replied, voice strained. "There's nothing to be sorry for."

"I'm sorry you had to see that," I strangled out.

Joh

"Don’t apologize to me for seeing you," he groaned, dropping his head in his hands. "Fuck!"

My heart was racing so hard in my chest in this moment that I found myself breathing faster, exhaling in short, puffy breaths.

What was I supposed to do?

Run?

Leave?

Hide?

Throw myself at him?

I didn’t know.

I had no idea what to do.

I only knew that my body was rooted to his mattress, eyes glued to his muscular back.

"I'm going to take you home now," Joh

"Yeah, okay," I whispered as the sound of my pulse hammered in my ears.

"That's what I'm going to do," he added, though I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or himself. "I'll take you home," he repeated but made no move to stand up.

Several seconds passed where he remained completely motionless.

Unable to bear the tension building inside of his bedroom, I reached out and touched his shoulder blade. "Joh

A small tremor rolled through his huge frame.

And then he turned around to face me.

"I can't be alone with you like this," he whispered, eyes locked on mine. "I…" He exhaled a ragged breath. "Not here… not when you look like that."

His eyes were heated and full of uncertainty and roaming wildly over my body.

His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace, mirroring my own.

I looked into his eyes, feeling my heart squeeze so tight it was hard to breathe.

In one stare, I felt like I had collided with him.

It was instant and shocking.

My feelings exploded inside of me, absorbing the boy and all he was like a sponge that was desperate for water.

I was desperate for him.

All of him.

Every piece and part.

Raging hormones, encouraged by my frazzled emotions, overrode my common sense right then, causing me to do something completely out of character.

Releasing an unsteady breath, I reached up, grabbed Joh

And then I kissed him.

I had no clue what to do next, my bravery deserting me in my moment of need, as I knelt on his bed and held his face in my hands.

Joh

But he wasn’t kissing me back.

In fact, I was fairly sure he wasn’t breathing.

My actions had turned him to stone in my hands.

My eyes were wide and bulging in my head as I broke the kiss and stared in horror right back at him.

"I'm so sorry," I blurted out, mortified.

"It's okay," he told me, breathing hard.

"No." I shook my head furiously. "No, it's not okay."

"Sha

"Oh my god! What did I do?"

"Sha

"It's not okay," I strangled out as I scrambled off the bed and backed up, hitting his chest of drawers in the process. "I just – oh god!"

Staggering backwards, I shook my head and held a hand out to warn him off when he took a step towards me. "I'm really sorry."

"Sha

I didn’t stop moving.

And I didn’t stop to talk.

Because I couldn’t.

I was in full-force panic mode and for once, my flight instinct had kicked in.

"I need to go," I a

"No, you don’t," he replied calmly. "We can talk about this."

"No!" Shaking my head, I slipped around Joh

"Sha

Speechless, I staggered over to the toilet, pushed the lid down and collapsed on top.

"Oh, god," I breathed, as I dropped my head in my hands.

What the hell did I just do?

Not only did I flash Joh

My first kiss.

The first time I ever put my lips on a boy.

And he didn’t reciprocate.

Oh my god…

What the hell was I thinking?

Why was I feeling like my heart was shattering into a million pieces?

And most importantly, how was I going to get out of this bathroom?

Because there was no way I could face Joh

In fact, I was fairly sure I could never face him again.