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Impending doom, I acknowledged.
That's what I was tasting and feeling right now.
My father was back.
Once I left this house and returned to mine, the vicious, never-ending circle would continue.
Suddenly, I never wanted to leave this room.
Do not cry, Sha I dropped my head and blinked like crazy, desperately trying to fight back the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks in big, fat drops. It didn’t work. One tear slid down my cheek, followed in quick succession by another and then another. "I'm going to hug you," Joh Sniffling, I turned inwards and buried my face in his side, answering his question with actions. Joh "I'm here for you," he told me, voice gruff and thick, as his hand moved in slow circles over my back. "If you need someone to talk to," he pulled me closer, "I'm right here." I couldn’t stop crying and I wasn’t sure if it was the fear of facing my father pushing me over the edge, or my mother's miscarriage, or the emotions building up inside of me because of this boy whose arms I was currently in. Unable to get a handle on myself, and desperately seeking the comfort and safety that oozed from him in waves, I did something incredibly reckless. I crawled onto his lap. Joh I couldn’t. With my knees on either side of his thighs, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. "What do you want me to do, Sha "Hold me," I sobbed, burying my face in his neck. "Don’t let go." "Okay." His large hand cupped the back of my head and his other moved to my back as he held me to his chest, slowly rocking me on his lap. "I won't," he whispered, folding me up in his arms. Trembling, I clung to his body and prayed for him to be my strength in this moment because I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t live like this. I was so alone. All my life. I was so scared.