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“Give me a day to think and pray about this,” I asked.
Oleg promised to call me the next day. With blond hair, blue eyes and a big beautiful smile, Oleg was the nicest young man I had ever met. He was always friendly and polite. I liked him, and my parents liked him too. I knew if I entered a relationship with him, it was a serious step and promising basically to date him exclusively. Was I ready to do this? Did I want to do this? After much praying and asking for God’s blessing, I agreed to enter into a friendship with Oleg. That relationship has grown into a great love.
For the next nine months, Oleg would drive to Vancouver once a month, twelve hours each way, to see me. While staying in Vancouver for three to four days, he would also pick up a job at my cousin’s shop. On the first evening, Oleg came to see me with a huge bouquet of flowers. Our love was growing stronger every day. While he was in California, we would talk on the phone and write each other letters.
I believed that marriage is for life and divorce is a sin. If you have problems, you work them out. Things were becoming serious and I knew if Oleg asked me to marry him, it was for life, if I said “Yes”.
During one of his visits, Oleg took me out to a beautiful park besides the river and proposed to me on bended knee.
“Olga, would you marry me, please?”
“Yes!” I exclaimed with joy, and then continued, “Oleg, please get, up. You are embarrassing me on your bended knee. People are watching us!”
We were so happy together! I loved Oleg so much and he loved me. Shortly after this visit, Oleg, his parents, his pastor, and his relatives came to meet my parents and me. We celebrated our engagement. Oleg’s parents brought a huge sweet Russian bread, called “Karavai”, which they had made and decorated beautifully with dough flowers and a braid on top. Traditionally, a young man brings this bread to the girl he loves when he asks her to marry him. They eat this bread together. Oleg’s family was wonderful. I felt their love towards me from the first day. It was a beautiful day and it just happened to be my 19th birthday.
Five months later, on April 5th, 1997, Oleg and I were happily married. We promised each other to be faithful in happiness and sorrow, in richest and the poor, and stay together until death separates us. We felt deep love for each other and felt God’s blessing upon us. One day I learned that Oleg's name meant “Holy and Faithful”. To know that his name was co
Our first year of marriage was a beautiful year of adjustments. We loved each other dearly, but had to find how to compromise on our different points of view. My values taught me to respect my husband and to listen to him as the head of the household, yet, we didn’t always agree on what to do or how to do it. As the years pass, we have learned that we can have a difference of opinion and to respect that difference. The more freedom we give each other, the more our love and our respect for each other grows.
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Oleg worked at an Auto Body shop, where he was a highly-skilled technician. I continued with college. A year after we were married, I completed my Associate Degree in Business Administration/Accounting. It took me three years to complete a two-year program because of my limited English skills. I was so proud of myself, being the first in my family to graduate from High School and college in America! After college, I took a job at the bank, but continued to look for a job where I could use my education.
Soon, I became pregnant. We were blessed with our first son, David, whose name means “Beloved by God”. We loved being a young family, ready to assume greater responsibilities. Oleg and I came from large families and had helped our Mothers many times with child care. However, there is a process of growing into a mature parent, that nothing can teach you, except being a parent. I recognized how important it is to have parents who love you, help you, and are willing to share what they know. My parents already had three Granddaughters. David was the first Grandson for both sets of Grandparents, which gave him that special place in their hearts.
Eighteen months later, our beautiful daughter arrived. We named her Kristina, which means “Anointed, Follower of Christ”. Oleg’s Mother flew in from California to help us for two weeks. She was wonderful, letting me rest, recover and care for Kristina, while she took care of David, prepared meals and maintained the laundry. My Mom helped as much as she could but was limited because she was operating her business as a full-time child care provider.
When Oleg’s Mom flew back to California, it was my first day alone with two children. I remember sitting on a couch with a crying Kristina and David. I felt like they wanted to show me who could cry louder, each wanting my attention. As a young mother, I didn’t know which child to take care of first, so I also started crying. Yes, it helped, and after couple of minutes, we all calmed down and understood that we were a team and needed to be nice to each other.
Most of the time, David was nice to Kristina, but sometimes he was jealous and didn’t want to share his Mommy. In the mornings, when they woke up and saw each other, they were so happy, jumping on the bed and hugging each other. It was such a great blessing, seeing our children that God had given us.
Two months before Kristina was born, we bought our first house, thus Oleg worked more hours to provide additional money for our family. After work, he returned home tired and in need of rest, but the minute he saw David and Kristina, excited to see him, Oleg’s tiredness disappeared. He picked up the children and played with them. Our love as a family and as a couple continued to grow.
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When Kristina turned one, I decided to look for work. I was lucky. With my first application and first interview, I got a full-time job with the Women, Infants and Children (WIC) program. This became an important and rewarding endeavor in my life. The first four years I worked as a bi-lingual clerk at the front desk. I knew that with my degree I could have found a better job, but I was happy due to four elements: a good team, good pay, good benefits, and close to home. I learned job skills and more. I learned how to handle working relationships with the clients and co-workers, how to be patient, to respect each individual for who they are, and not to impose my personal judgments on others. Experience is a great teacher.
My Mom watched our children while Oleg and I worked. Often, when I came from work to pick up our children, she gave me freshly prepared food to take home. You just don’t go home as a wife. You have a family to care for, you have a husband and children, and you have to prepare a meal.
One time, I came to Mom’s house to pick up our children after work. She had just cooked vegetables for the potato salad. It only needed to be cut in pieces and mixed with a dressing. She gave it to me.
“Take it home and make salad for your family,” she insisted.
“What about you?” I asked.
“I can cook more vegetables,” Mom stated emphatically.
I thanked Mom, got into my car and cried. My Mom, who worked since nearly six o’clock in the morning, has given me her di
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The children were growing and were so different. With curly hair and dimples on his cheeks, David looked a lot like my Dad. With blond curly hair and big blue eyes Kristina looked more like Oleg. David was neat and liked to play alone. But Kristina was the happiest and bravest child on earth and needed company. When they were growing up, they were such fu