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Cholmondeley and Madame Ruth gave me an odd look I didn't understand for a second, and then I did: you need to be a person of unusual virtue - Brother Vahan, say - to keep your normal appearance in virtuous reality. My ears got hot.
"Must be love," I muttered.
"Very likely," Nigel Cholmondeley said. "After all, were it not for the love you bear for Mistress Ather, she would still be trapped on the Other Side."
That only made my ears hotter. Back in the Nine Beyonds, I'd idealized Judy into an image I'd cherish all my life, while she'd seen me just as I am. Which was the greater compliment? I couldn't begin to tell you.
The constable pulled out a sheet of parchment and a pen.
Where the rest of us were exalted, he stayed businesslike.
"Can you describe the motivations of the alleged perpetrators who caused your spirit to be projected into the realm on the Other Side termed the Nine Beyonds, Mistress Ather?" he asked formally.
"You mean, why they sent me there?" Judy said - sure enough, a copy editor to the core. She shook her head again.
"They didn't tell me much, which was probably sensible from their point of view. I think they just didn't want to have to worry about my escaping for a while. They had some sort of big plans afoot, though; I know that much. They kept saying they'd deal with me properly once this other thing, whatever it was, happened."
That reminded me she didn't know what had gone on at the Devonshire dump or Chocolate Weasel. It also explained why she hadn't been at the Chocolate Weasel building, but I didn't want to think about what those people had intended to do to her once they got the power they'd sought As fast as I could, I filled her in on what had been happening on This Side while she was Elsewhere. She nodded soberly, saying, "That fits in well with what we were talking about before they kidnapped me. I'm just glad we managed to foil it."
"Not "we,' Mistress Ather," Tony Sudakis said. "Him." He pointed right at me. "If he hadn't thought to summon the Garuda Bird, we'd all have been in the soup."
"Somebody had to do something," I said. Seeing the admiring look Judy was giving me, I added, "What I think I'll do is hire Tony to do my advertising for me. The other thing you have to remember is that if it hadn't been for his Perkunas and the Nine Suns, we couldn't have rescued you."
"Yeah, but you were the one who thought of that, too, and made Madame Ruth and Cholmondeley here go along with it even when they weren't what you'd call enthusiastic," Tony said. The virtuous reality duo nodded vigorously.
"Well, if you insist on giving me the credit, you know what?" I said. Tm go
Judy said, "Do I have any clothes here besides this peepshow of a gown? Now that I'm living in my body again, all I want to do is check myself out of here… where exactly am I, anyhow?" "This is the West Hills Temple of Healing, Mistress Ather," Hr. Murad said. He opened the closet, pointed to a tunic and trousers. These are the garments in which you were discovered. They have been laundered subsequent to their detailed examination by the constabulary."
I dare say they'd needed laundering, too; I wondered how long Judy's body had worn them and soiled them while her spirit was trapped in the Nine Beyonds. She must have been thinking the same thing, for she said, "They'll do to get me out. Then I think I'll bum them."
"As you wish. Mistress Ather," Hr. Murad said. "One formality yet remains before you can be released." Judy gave him a classic make-it-snappy look. It took effect. Hastily, he went on, "I must certify you as sound before sending you down to the business office."
"Go ahead, then," Judy said, visibly composing herself. As one who worked with magic, she knew the importance of adhering strictly to rules and procedures.
To give Hr. Murad his due, he made the examination the formality he'd told Judy it would be. He took her pulse and blood pressure, then said, "Please recite the creed of your faith."
"Sh'ma yisroayl, adonai dohaynu, adonca ekhod" Judy said, and then for good measure repeated it in English:
"Hear, 0 Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one."
Hr. Murad made cryptic notes on her chart. When he was through scribbling, he said, "I have the pleasure of pronouncing you physically and spiritually sound."
Then please leave, all of you, and let me get dressed," she said, adding, "David, when I'm done with their business people, will you take me home?"
"Sure," I said. "We'll have to let the Long Beach and Angels City constables know you're well; they'll both want to talk with you. But," I went on - quickly, to keep her from throwing the bud vase on the night table at me, "we don't have to do it right now"
"I'll take care of that," the A.C. constable on guard duty said. He gri
Thanks," Judy said. We all trooped outside. Hr. Murad went off to see another patient Nigel Cholmondeley and Madame Ruth headed for the slide. So did the constable.
I turned to Tony Sudakis. Thanks more than I can say."
"No problem." He brushed it aside. Tm just glad everything worked out. Listen, I gotta get back to work. I hope I see you around - long as you're not investigating my dump."
They'll send somebody else out there from now on," I told him. "I've got a conflict of interest"
He gri
She came out of her room. I had to show her where the business office was down on the ground floor; she knew nothing of how she'd come here but what I'd told her. The business people were inclined to be huffy with her until she said the magic words: Blue Scutum. Then suddenly everything was easy, though she did have to spend a while filling out the BS forms.
At last we went out to the parking lot and buckled ourselves onto my carpet. Before we took off, I leaned over and gave her a kiss. She grabbed me. We hugged for a while.
Before I puddled up, I started flying her home. I took everything slow and easy, keeping in mind how tired I was. It was the middle of the day, so traffic was easy. Practically everybody at her block of flats had gone to work. We had to use my entry talisman; she didn't have hers.
"Oh, God, it's good to be here," she said when we went in.
The curtains were open; she shut them. Then she went into the kitchen and opened the icebox. I heard her duck in distress: "Have to throw most of this stuff out. But oh, good - there's still some beer in here."
"Beer?" I echoed.
She clucked again, this time at my foolishness. "For the cup of roots," she explained, as if I weren't very bright (and at the moment, I wasn't). She came back into the front room, where I was standing like a lost soul. She did her best to remedy that; this loss she gave me… well, if my eyelids were window shades, they'd have been flapping on their spindles from being yanked up too hard.
"Here's what I'm going to do," she said, ticking off points on her fingers, neat and organized as usual: Tm going to drink the cup of roots. I'm going to get out of these clothes, never ever put them on again, and take a shower to help me forget I was wearing them. Then I'm going to put on something I hope you'll think is more interesting and try and thank you property for getting me back from the Nine Beyonds. How does all that sound?"
"Wonderful," I said hoarsely.
"Good. It sounds wonderful to me, too." She gulped down the cup of roots, then took off her clothes right there in the middle of the living room. When I tried to grab her, she skipped back away from me. "Go sit down," she said. "I do want to get clean. I won't be long, I promise. All right?"