The Butcher Boy

Can you move your head a little please Francis?

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

There. That's better he said in a soft voice. Hand me the cotton wool please doctor.

Then there was a knock at the door and who pops his head in only Joe.

Is Francie here? C'mon Francie we're ridin' out. We've got to move fast!

A pony whi

OK Joe I said and threw the white sheet off me.

That's what you think says Joe and I could hear the blondie one laughing outside the door.

Joe, I called, Joe!

So you're the Time Lord says the Roman, prepare to die and I swung away up hanging by the heel.

Joe I called again but the room was empty.

I could hear the hush of the sea.

I looked down and saw Mrs Co

I'm fine I said.

Mrs Co

I'll bet you didn't know Francie – I'll bet you didn't know I had something for you.

No Mrs Co

Aha but I have! she says. What do you think of that!

It's good Mrs Co

Ah isn't he lovely she said again.

Are you going to sing a little song for me? Is he going to sing a little song for us ladies?

They said: Are you Francis?

A little song and the special prize is all yours! says Mrs Co

She was hiding it behind her back.

Well – what are you going to sing? Will you sing my favourite for me? You know how much I like that one. Mm?

Yes Mrs Co

I was just standing there with my knees together and my head down all shy. I was like something you'd see on a snakes and ladders board.

Horray!, said Mrs Co

I did a few Irish dancing steps that the nuns taught us hopperty skip round the shop and singing:

I am a little Baby Pig I'll have you all to know

With the pinkest little floppy ears and a tail that curls up so

I like to trot around the town and have myself some fun

And I'll be a little porky pig till my trotting days are done!

When I was finished I was all hot and out of breath thank you thank you says Mrs Co

Then Mrs Co

Oh! the women gasped.

It just sat in the middle of Mrs Co

What-do-you-think-of-that! she says with her eyes twinkling.

Its lovely, I said.

Would you like to have a bite of it? she said.

Yes Mrs Co

What do you say ladies? Will I give him a bite of it?

Then the women started mm mm well and all this and had a big discussion.

Yes, they said then – if he picks it up like a pig!

Mrs Co

I said I would and she went down on one knee and rolled it slowly along the rubber mat. I tried to grip it with my teeth but down on all fours like that it was too hard to get at it. You'd think you had it then down it'd go again and every time it did the women cheered. Oh! they said, he's dropped it again. Then they clapped and cheered and said: Come on Francie you can do it! But I couldn't do it. It was too hard. Can I use one hand? I said. One trotter you mean, they said. Uh-uh, sorry. That's against the rules. I don't know how many times I dropped it. Ten or eleven maybe. In the end Mrs Co

Ah you poor little pig, she says, God love you. Can you not even pick up an apple?

Don't worry Francie!, the women said, its all yours now! Go on – eat it!

I didn't want to eat it while they were looking at me but I had to. They kept saying: And another bite now!

They did that until I was down to the core. Then Mrs Co

They waited there looking them up and down. They were saying: Come on! Say something we want to see a row!

But there was no row. Ma and Da Pig didn't say anything just stood there roast red, afraid to speak or look anyone in the eye. Oh please! Let there be a row! Mrs Co

We've waited here all this time for nothing – there isn't going to be a row after all!

And there wasn't. The row didn't start until we got outside. Ma Pig was near to tears.

Why didn't you do something? Why didn't you say something? she cried.

Me? Da Pig snapped, why is it always me? He went hoarse arguing and he went from red to pure white. Then the two of them turned on me.

Why did you take the apple you stupid little pig? they said. I stuttered and stammered. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why I had taken the stupid apple. The whole town was out to watch us going up Church Hill. Hello there Pigs, called Doctor Roche, that's not a bad day!

He locked his car and went into the hotel saying: They're a grand family those pigs!

There were so many people waving and calling to us that we were exhausted by the time we got to the Tower. There was nobody in the bar only us. There was a smell of old porter and a whiff coming from the men's toilets, it was a bar of dead years. The barman knew it was us without even looking up he rubbed his hands with a cloth and said well pigs what can I get you?

Da Pig told him and he poured the drinks. He said it was a cold enough day. Da Pig said it was and nobody said anything more after that. There was a picture of a whiskery sealion balancing a bottle of stout on its nose I looked at that for a long time. Ma just sat there with her chin in on her chest afraid to look up. Every time Da Pig raised his little finger the barman filled up his glass. It was dark outside when he came back from the toilet. He clattered against the stool and the barman said: You'd be as well to get him home.

Yes, said ma, and the barman kept his eyes on us until we got up and took him out. Ma said try your best son then she put one of his arms around her shoulders and I took the other then off we went with his legs trailing and the two wee piggy eyes set away back in a ball of pink skin, and them all standing at their doors with their arms folded look there they go that's them crossing the Diamond. Hey! Hey! Hullo! Pigs! Pigs! Yoo-hoo!

Ah look aren't they great, the Mammy Pig, the Daddy Pig and Baby Pig, three little piggies huffing and puffing all the way home!

Will you forgive me I was going to say yes da but I was away off swinging by the heel again and the Roman soldier with the sword who was it only Leddy he flicked away the butt of his cigarette and said something to me but I couldn't make out what it was then he just raised the sword and brought it down and cut me in two halves.

One half could see the other but they were both just dangling there on the meat rack.