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Lord Fe
“This is jolly,” he remarked. “I didn’t think I’d be up here twice.”
“Lord Fe
“Yes, yes,” said Lord Fe
“Now, you had arranged for yourself and for the defendant to ride into the ballroom with the elephant, had you not?”
“Indubitably,” said his lordship.
“Did the elephant prior to that display any evil characteristics?”
“What, old Rosy?” said his lordship. “Of course not. Wonderful animal.”
Sir Magnus smiled with quiet satisfaction.
“But on the night of the ball,” he continued, “did the defendant display any qualms about the projected adventure?”
“Qualms,” said his lordship chuckling. “He was a quivering mass of nerves. He worries too much, that boy, you know. That’s half his trouble. I keep telling him it’s very fatiguing.”
“In other words,” said Sir Magnus, “he did suggest to you that it might be an unwise manoeuvre to introduce the elephant into the ballroom.”
“Frequently,” said his lordship. “About ten times a day on an avenge.”
“For what reason?” enquired Sir Magnus.
“Well, he didn’t think my wife would like it,” said Lord Fe
“I can well imagine,” said Sir Magnus dryly. “So before the actual night of the ball, he had made several endeavours to stop the plan.”
“That is quite correct.”
“Was he still alarmed on the evening of the ball itself?”
“Alarmed is a mild way of putting it,” said his lordship. “And of course when he found that she was drunk it was all I could do to persuade him to go ahead with the plan.”
“I see,” said Sir Magnus silkily. “Then the defendant in actual fact wanted to call the whole thing off prior to the ball, and on the evening of the ball, finding the animal was intoxicated, he again made serious attempts to persuade you to abandon the project.”
“Yes,” said Lord Fe
“So, in other words,” said Sir Magnus, “one could really say that the havoc created at the ball was neither the fault of the animal, who was under the influence of alcohol, nor the defendant, since you were directly responsible.”
There was a pause while Lord Fe
“Come to think of it,” he said at last, breathing on his monocle, polishing it and screwing it back into his eye, “come to think of it, you are quite right. The whole thing was my fault.”
“Rupert,” came the bugle-like call of Lady Fe
“Who is creating this interruption?” enquired the judge, peering round myopically.
“I think it’s the witness’s wife,” said Sir Magnus with satisfaction.
“My lord,” boomed Lady Fe
“Madam, do you mind being quiet?” enquired the judge.
“I will not be quiet,” shouted Lady Fe
“Now, now, dear,” shouted Lord Fe
“I will not keep calm,” shouted Lady Fe
“Lady Fe
“You’re the one who’s confused it,” shouted Lady Fe
“Madam,” said the judge icily, “if you do not be quiet and sit down, I shall have you removed from the court.”
Lady Fe
“You will do so at your peril,” she said.
“Remove that woman,” said the judge excitedly.
Two large constables moved in on Lady Fe
“Lord Fe
“My dear chap, don’t mention it,” said Lord Fe
“After that unfortunate incident, may I proceed, my lord?” enquired Sir Magnus.
“Pray do so,” said the judge.
“So we now know,” said Sir Magnus looking at Lord Fe
“Yes,” said Lord Fe
“Thank you, Lord Fe
He sat down and with an air of triumph took out his snuff-box, plugged some snuff up his nose and then gave an enormous and triumphant sneeze and smiled wi
“Well, um, yes,” said the judge. “Have you anything to say, Sir Augustus?”
Sir Augustus, who had been looking more and more miserable, rose to his feet, quivering with ill-suppressed indignation.
“My lord,” he said shakily, “I have little to add to my previous summary of the case. I can only say at this juncture that I hope that my learned friend’s introduction of so many dubious witnesses has not in any way damaged his case in the eyes of the jury. The introduction of white witches, strolling players of doubtful background and people who believe in reincarnation should, I would think, undermine rather than buttress the case for the defence.”
Sir Magnus rose to his feet. “If I may interrupt for a moment,” he said, “I would also like to point out to my learned friend that among white witches, strolling players and believers in reincarnation, there was Lord Fe
He sat down and Sir Augustus gave him a look of such scorching ferocity that Adrian was surprised not to see Sir Magnus disappear in a tiny puff of black smoke.
“It seems to me,” aid Sir Augustus, “that the jury can only bring in one verdict, and that is that the defendant, Adrian Rookwhistle, is guilty.”
Sir Magnus got to his feet.
“I think, my lord, gentlemen of the jury, that I have made my side of things more than dear. I feel from the evidence that we have heard that I have more than vindicated the good character of the defendant and of the noble creature who is his companion.”
The foreman of the jury had been opening and shutting his mouth for some considerable time. He now got to his feet.
“What is it, what is it?” said the judge testily.
“Excuse me, your honour,” said the foreman, “but is the elephant in question the one what’s been down on the beach for the last week?”
“Yes,” said Sir Magnus, “she enjoys going down there and playing with the little children.”
The foreman sat down and had a whispered conclave with the rest of the jury. Sir Magnus watched them with a beaming, paternal smile.
“I think, my lord,” he said smoothly, “that I can rely on the good sense of the jury to bring in the right verdict.”
“Yes, yes, well,” said the judge. He shuffled his notes in a rather flustered fashion. “I would be glad if you would stop whispering among yourselves and pay attention to me,” he said to the jury.