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“I thought you ought to know, my lord, that her ladyship has just arrived.”
Lord Fe
“Great heavens!” he ejaculated in horror. “She mustn’t find us like this. quick, quick, Raymond, go and tell her we’re just having baths or something. Don’t let her come up here . . . and above all, don’t mention that elephant.”
“Yes, my lord,” said Raymond, and left the room.
“I can’t think why she’s come back,” said his lordship, unwinding his turban frantically. “They shouldn’t be back till the day after to-morrow. Look here, Rookwhistle, she must not under any circumstances find out what we’re pla
7. PEACOCKS AND PEACHES
It was on meeting Lady Fe
Lady Fe
When they had entered the withdrawing-room, slightly dishevelled and with traces of burnt cork still on their faces, her ladyship had raised her lorgnettes and fixed them with a glare of such ferocity that Adrian blanched.
“My very own dear, how nice to have you back,” said Lord Fe
“One wouldn’t have thought so, from the fact that you were not down here to receive us,” said Lady Fe
“Ah Yes!" said his lordship. “Let me introduce you, my love. This is Adrian Rookwhistle, the son of a dear old college friend of mine. He . . . er . . . just happened to be passing by and so I asked him to stay for the party. Adrian, this is my wife and Jonquil, my daughter.”
“How do you do?” enquired her ladyship, in a tone of voice that implied that news of his imminent demise would leave her unmoved.
“Well,” said his lordship, rubbing his hands, “did you have a good time in the city, eh? Buy lots of pretty pretty things, eh?”
“Rupert,” said her ladyship, “you will kindly stop addressing us as though we were a pair of backward children. We had, in fact, a very fatiguing time in the city. What is more to the point, how have you been getting on with preparations for the party?”
His lordship started and gulped. Adrian’s heart sank After even this brief exchange with Lady Fe
“Preparations!” said Lord Fe
In the circumstances, Adrian reflected, this was probably just as well.
“H’m!" said Lady Fe
“No, no!” protested his lordship earnestly. “’Pon my soul, my love, we’ve been working like beavers, veritable beavers. The success of the party is assured, I give you my word.”
The next two days Adrian spent in an agony of apprehension. His effort to get his lordship to tell Lady Fe
The difficulties of concealing the presence of an elephant in the stables from one as omniscient as Lady Fe
During this time Adrian’s overwrought nerves were not helped by the fact that he had to get up at midnight in order to exercise Rosy up and down the drive, an occupation made hazardous by the number of armed gamekeepers about. Rosy herself did not help matters. Thoroughly spoilt on her rich diet, she had taken to trumpeting loudly and shrilly if her supply of peaches ran out. Both Lord Fe
“What is that noise?” enquired her ladyship ominously.
“Noise?” said his lordship, hitting a croquet ball with u
“I do not,” said her ladyship grimly.
“I heard nothing,” said his lordship, “did you, Adrian?”
“No,” said Adrian, wishing he were somewhere else. “Not a thing.”
“It sounded,” said her ladyship, “not unlike a trumpet or a cornet or one of those vulgar instruments they play in bands.”
Again the shrill sound of Rosy’s displeasure floated to them on the breeze.
“There!” said her ladyship. “That’s the noise.”
“Ah! That,” said Adrian desperately. “I think that’s the local hunt.”
Lady Fe
“Talking of the local hunt,” said her ladyship suddenly, “did you hear, Rupert, about that disgraceful occurrence? Some man, who could only have been deranged, attacked the hunt viciously with a large and uncontrollable elephant.”
Adrian dropped his croquet mallet heavily on his foot.
“Yes,” said Lord Fe