The Chosen

'That he's going on for a doctorate in psychology and doesn't intend to take his place.'

'Is Da

I stared at him. 'I never thought to ask him,' I said faintly.

'His beard, his earlocks, his clothes, his fringes – all this he will retain in graduate school?'

'I don't know, abba. We never talked about it.'

'Reuven, how will Da

I didn't know what to say.

'It is important that Da

'All this time I never thought to ask him.'

'Da

'Yes.'

'You will talk to him?'

'Of course.'

My father nodded grimly, his face troubled. 'I have not talked to Da

'No,' I said.

'Tell me, Da

I shook my head. Then I told him what Da

That seemed to upset him more than the news about Da

'It is a way of bringing up children,' he said.

'What is?'

'Silence.'

'I don't understand…!

'I ca

But what I know of it, I dislike. It was practised in Europe by some few Hasidic families.' Then his voice went hard. 'There are better ways to teach a child compassion.'

'I don't…!

He cut me short. 'Reuven, I ca

I nodded.

'Now I have work I must do.' And he went from the room, leaving me as bewildered as I had been before.

I had pla

Levi Saunders was discharged from the Brooklyn Memorial Hospital the following Wednesday afternoon. I saw Da

He told me quietly that he was pla

'I don't know,' he said, his voice a little tight.

'Why don't you tell your father now and get it over with?'

He looked at me, his face grim. 'I don't want explosions with every meal,' he said tightly. 'All I get are either explosions or silence. I've had enough of his explosions.'

Then I told him what my father had said. As I spoke, I could see him become more and more uncomfortable.

'I didn't want you to tell your father,' he muttered angrily.

'My father kept your library visits a secret from me,' I reminded him. 'Don't worry about my father: 'I don't want you to tell anyone else.'

'I won't. What about what my father said? Are you going to remain an Orthodox Jew?'

'Whatever gave you the notion that I had any intention of not remaining an Orthodox Jew?'

'What if your father asks about the beard, the caftan, the- '

'He won't ask me: 'What if he does?'

He pulled nervously at an earlock. 'Can you see me practising psychology and looking like a Hasid?' he asked tightly.

' I hadn't really expected any other answer. Then something occurred to me. 'Won't your father see the mail you get from the graduate schools you've applied to?'

He stared at me. 'I never thought of that,' he said slowly. 'I'll have to intercept the mail: He hesitated, his face rigid. 'I can't. It comes after I leave for school: And his eyes filled with fear.

'I think you ought to have a talk with my father,' I said.

Da

'I have not seen you in such a long time,' he said, smiling warmly. 'It is good to see you again, Da

My father did not sit behind the desk. He sat next to us on the kitchen chair he had asked me earlier to bring into the study.

'Do not be angry at Reuven for telling me,' he said quietly to Da

'You will tell your father on the day of your ordination?' Da

'There is a girl involved?'

Da

'You will refuse to marry this girl?'

'Yes.'

'And your father will have to explain to her parents and to his followers.'

Da

My father sighed softly. 'It will be a very uncomfortable situation. For you and for your father. You are determined not to take your father's place?'

'Yes,' Da

'Then you must know exactly what you will tell him. Think carefully of what you will say. Think what your father's questions will be. Think what he will be most concerned about after he hears of your decision. Do you understand me, Da

Da

Then my father leaned forward in his chair. 'Da

Da

'You are not angry at your father?'

Da

'Do you understand what he is doing?'

Da

My father sighed again. 'It will be explained to you,' he said softly. 'Your father will explain it to you. Because he will want you to carry it on with your own children one day.'

Da

'No one can help you with this, Da

My father came with us to the door of our apartment. I could hear Da

'What is this again about hearing silence, abba?' I asked.

But my father would say nothing. He went into his study and closed the door.

Da