Project Pope

Thinking of it, he was frightened, and the more he thought about it, the more frightened he became. He had meddled into something that he had no right to meddle with and he had not come out unscathed. He had been changed and he desired no change: Change was uncomfortable under any circumstance; a change in one's self was terrifying.

Yet why should he feel such terror? The change, what ever it might be, how limited or extensive, whatever it might come to in the future, had made it possible for him to give to Jill — unwittingly, and yet he'd given it — a gift that no other human could have given her.

And that was it. There was no point in being frightened or being terrified. In the end, so far as he was concerned, it all came down to Jill. If in all the future there was nothing else — if, in fact, in future time he should suffer for it- there would be no regret. Any future price that might be exacted from him would be worth what he had done. He had been paid in full in that moment he had laid his hand upon her cheek.

Thinking this, he felt a calmness in him. He stayed propped up in bed, not sliding back down again, staring into the gray edge of the early dawn. In his thoughts he went back again to the equation world, trying to puzzle how he had managed to go there in person, although he knew without question that it had not been he who had been able to go there but Whisperer who had been able to take him there. To understand how Whisperer had done it, he'd have to know a great deal more about Whisperer than he knew.

Turning his head slowly, he sca

He jerked himself more fully awake, for there was a tapping. It stopped for a moment and then started up again. It seemed to have no direction, it could come from almost anywhere. Listening closely, he identified it. There was someone at the door. He swung himself easily out of bed, sitting on the edge, his feet seeking blindly for the slippers that did not seem to be there.

Jill stirred in the bed, making an inquiring sound. 'It's all right, he told her. 'You stay here. There's someone at the door.

He failed to find the slippers and stood up without them, making his way around the bed and into the living room. He closed the bedroom door behind him. The tapping on the door had stopped for a time, but now it began again, a discreet tapping, not insistent.

Without turning on lights, Te

'Jason, I am sorry. This ungodly hour…

'It's all right, said Te

'Could you spare a drink? Some brandy if you have it.

'Certainly, said Te

He closed the door and had a closer look at Ecuyer. The man was dressed in slacks and jacket.

'Up early? he asked. 'Or didn't you go to bed at all?

'Never went to bed, said Ecuyer, reaching the couch before the fire and collapsing onto it.

Te

'You look all tired out, he told him.

'I am tired out, said Ecuyer. 'Something horrible has happened. Something that's never happened before. Or, I don't think it has.

Te

Ecuyer took another deep drink of the brandy. 'You won't join me?

Te

'Ah well, said Ecuyer, 'since I never went to bed… He drank more of the brandy.

'There's something you came here to tell me, said Te

'No, I'm just putting it off. It's something you have to know. It's a bit painful.

Te

'It was like this, Ecuyer finally said. 'I've been putting off having a look at the second Heaven cube. You know I have. You've been bugging me about it. Jason, did you ever get around to viewing the first Heaven cube?

'No. Somehow I felt a strange reluctance. Maybe slightly afraid of it. Uncomfortable at the thought of it. I know I should have. I might have found something that would have helped me to treat Mary.

'I felt the same reluctance with the second cube, said Ecuyer. 'I kept putting it off, finding reasons to put it off. Maybe I was afraid of what I might experience. I don't know. I tried to analyze my feelings and came up zilch. Then last evening I decided — forced myself to decide — I'd fooled around long enough.

'So you finally viewed it.

'No, Jason, I didn't.

'Why the hell not? Shy off at the last moment? 'Not that. It wasn't there.

'What do you mean, it wasn't there?

'Just that. It isn't there. It isn't where we put it. We, old Ezra and me. You know Ezra. He's the custodian.

'Yes, I know him.

'He followed procedure. He always follows procedure. He never misses a lick. He always does what he's supposed to do. I've worked with him for years; I'd trust him with my life.

Te

Te

'That's right. There are a few cubes, a few special ones, I can come up with without help from Ezra, but not many.

'But until you view a new cube, it stays in a safe. The Heaven cube wasn't in the safe- is that what you're telling me?

'Jason, that's what I am telling you. Ezra opened the safe and it wasn't there. There were three other cubes, but not the Heaven cube. Three that I hadn't got around to viewing-

'One of them labeled wrong?

'No. To he certain, I viewed the three of them. None of them the Heaven cube. Stuff that came in just recently.

'Paul, who else could open that safe?

'No one. Not me, not anyone but Ezra.

'All right. So Ezra…

'Impossible, said Ecuyer. 'That repository is Ezra's life. His whole existence centers on the Search Program. Without it, he'd be nothing. He'd be empty. I'd trust him further than I would trust myself. He's tied even more closely to the program than I am. He's been with it longer. He was assigned to it when it first started, centuries ago.

'But if someone in Vatican…

'Not a chance. Not even the Pope. Ezra's loyalty belongs to Search, not to Vatican.

'Then someone must have learned the combination. Would that be possible?

'I suppose so. An outside chance. An extremely outside chance.

'The cube couldn't have been mislaid?

'No. Ezra put it in the safe. I stood by and watched him put it in and lock the door.