Loving

Mrs Welch let out a deep, cavernous chuckle. She behaved like an established favourite.

'Gawd save us from 'em, they're foreigners after all,' she a

'I'm sure you're right,' Mrs Te

'Now it's strange your mentioning that mum but I had an example only the other day,' Mrs Welch went on fast. 'I happened to be stood by the larder windows when I 'ad a terrible stench of drains very sudden. Quite took my breath away. Just like those Irish I said to myself as I stood there, never to clean a thing out.'

'You don't imagine…?' Mrs Te

'A terrible stench of drains,' Mrs Welch repeated. 'And me that had thought we were goin' to have them all up while you was away with Mrs Jack.'

'The drains?' Mrs Te

'That's what was said,' Mrs Welch insisted.

'Who said? I never gave orders.'

'No mum I'd be the last to say you did seein' you knew nothing. Only when that lovely cluster ring you had was lost, an' what a terrible thing to 'appen, there was one or two did mention that takin'

'em up was the only thing.'

'Down the drain?' Mrs Te

'Ah I could've told them they'd never get away with that,' Mrs Welch rejoined as though triumphant. Tantastic's the word beggin' your pardon. Down the plumbin' indeed when it was all the time right where I'll be bound it is this moment if it's not already been come upon.'

'No,' Mrs Te

'Ah there you are,' Mrs Welch replied profound.

'Now Mrs Welch I don't think we shall get anywhere like this,' Mrs Te

'Just as you please mum,' the cook answered calm. 'And what would you fancy for your luncheon?'

'That is to say what I really came for was to ask your advice,' Mrs Te

'I shouldn't think twice about the stench of drains,' Mrs Welch put in, 'that was likely nothin' really. Probably the way the wind lay or something.'

'I haven't had you with me all these years without getting to know when I'm to take you seriously,' Mrs Te

'Albert?' Mrs Welch echoed with a set look on her face. "Ave they been on to you about Albert?'

'Well you know he's admitted it.'

'Admitted what I'd like to be told?' cried Mrs Welch.

'Why he did to me only a quarter of an hour ago.'

'What about?' Mrs Welch asked grim.

'Well what we've been discussing, my sapphire cluster ring,' Mrs Te

'Your lovely sapphire cluster,' Mrs Welch echoed anguished. 'Why the lyin' lot of… no I won't say it, that would be too good for 'em.'

'D'you think the others have had a part in this then?'

'I don't think. I know mum,' Mrs Welch a

'But they would hardly have told him what to say to incriminate himself?'

'Criminal?' Mrs Welch replied, her voice rising. That's just it mum. For this is what those two are, that Raunce and his Edith. I don't say nothin' about their being lain all day in each other's arms, and the best part of the night too very likely though I can't speak to the night time, I must take my rest on guard and watch as I am while it's light outside, lain right in each other's arms,' she resumed, 'the almighty lovers they make out they are but no more than fornicators when all's said and done if you'll excuse the expression, where was I? Yes. "Love" this an' "dear" that, so they go on day and night yet they're no better than a pair of thieves mum, mis-appropriatin' your goods behind your back.'

'Mrs Welch,' Mrs T. protested rising to her feet with a deep look of distaste. 'I won't listen,' she was going on but the cook interrupted.

'I'm sorry mum but you must allow me my say. There's been insinuations made and it's only right I should have the privilege to cast 'em back in the teeth of those that's made it. They're like a pair of squirrels before the winter layin' in a store with your property mum against their marriage if they ever find a parson to be joined in matrimony which I take leave to doubt. And it's not your ring alone. Did you ever look to the cellar mum? Why you hadn't been gone over into England more than a few hours when I chanced to look into that jar where I keep my waterglass. I was just goin' over my stores as I do regular every so often. Believe it or not there was above a quart gone. So I made my enquiry. You'll never credit this'm. It seems that Edith has been makin' away with the peacock's eggs to store them. There you are. But that's child's play. Listen to this.'

'Peacock's eggs? Whatever for?'

'Because they're starvin' over the other side the ordinary common people are begging your pardon mum.'

'Really Mrs Welch,' Mrs Te

'I'm sorry I'm sure,' the cook insisted, 'but a few dozen eggs and a gallon or two of that stuff is child's play. Take the dead peacock. Stuffed 'im in my larder Raunce did all a'crawlin' with maggots over the lovely bit of meat I'd got for their supper. And what for you'll ask? As well you might. Ah you'd never believe their wickedness. It's to set that I. R. A, man Conor against me, that devil everyone's afeared for their life of in this place. And they're in it the two of them over your corn that's fed to the birds, Raunce an' that mad Irishman is. Like it was over the gravel between Raunce again an' Michael. The diabolical plunderers,' she said and paused to take breath, her face a dark purple.

'I'm not going to listen. I shall leave you till you're in a fit state…' Mrs Te

'Yet when they grow bold to come forward with their lying tales,' she went on, and grew hoarse, 'when they say cruel lies about the i

'All this is too absurd,' Mrs Te

'Gin?' Mrs Welch cried, 'I've not come upon any yet in this benighted island and you'll excuse me mum but I know who was intended, which Albert…'

'Now then,' Mrs Te

'An' my pots and pans,' she began once more but this time in a mutter.

'We won't say any more about this,' Mrs Te

As she came out of that swing door which bounded Mrs Welch's kingdom she found Raunce waiting bent forward in obvious suspense and excitement.

'It's been recovered Madam,' he a

'What has Arthur?'

'Why your sapphire ring Madam.'

'Thank you,' she said as though she had not heard. Taking it from him she slipped it on a finger. As she walked away she said half under her breath but loud enough for him to hear, 'And now perhaps you'll tell me what I'm to say to the Insurance Company?'