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Letters From Laura
by Mildred Clingerman
Dear Mom:
Stop worrying. There isn't a bit of danger. Nobody ever dies or gels hurt like that while time-traveling. The young man at the Agency explained it all to me in detail, but I've forgotten most of it. His eyebrows move in the most fascinating way. So I'm going this weekend. I've already bought my ticket. I haven't the faintest idea where I'm going, but that's part of the fun. Grab Bag Tours, they call them. It costs $60 for one day and night, and the Agency supplies you with food concentrates and water capsules-a whole bag full of stuff Aey send right along with you. I certainly do not want Daddy to go with me- I'll tell him all about it when I get back, and then he can go himself, if he still wants to. The thing Daddy forgets is that all the history he reads is mostly just a pack of lies. Everybody says so nowadays, since time travel. He'd spoil everything arguing with the natives, telling them how they were supposed to act. I have to stop now, because the young man from the Agency is going to take me out to di
Love,
Laura
Dear Mom:
I can't afford to go first-class. The Grab Bag Tours are not the leavings. They're perfectly ail right. It's just that you sorta have to rough it. They've been thoroughly explored. I mean somebody has been there at least once before. I never heard of a native attacking a girl traveler. Just because I won't have a guide you start worrying about that. Believe me. some of those guides, from what 1 hear, wouldn't be very safe, either. Delbert explained it all to me- He's the boy from the Agency. Did you know that insurance is a very interesting subject?
Love,
Laura
Dear Mom:
Everything is set for tomorrow. I'm so excited. I spent three hours on the couch at the Agency's office-taking the hypno-course, you know, so I'll be able to speak the language. Later Delbert broke a rule and told me my destination, so I rushed over to the public library and read bits here and there. It's ancient Crete! Dad will be so pleased. I'm going to visit the Minotaur in the Labyrinth. Delbert says he is really off the beaten track of the tourists. I like unspoiled things, don't you? The Agency has a regular little room all fixed up right inside the cave. but hidden, so as not to disturb the regular business of the place. The Agency is very particular mat way- Time travelers, Delbert says, have to agree to make themselves as inconspicuous as possible. Delbert says that will be very difficult for me to do. Don't you think subtle compliments are the nicest? I've made myself a darling costume-I sat up late to finish it. I don't know that it's exactly right, historically, but it doesn't really matter, since I'm not supposed to leave the cave. I have to stay close to my point of arrival, you understand. Delbert says I'm well covered now with insurance, so don't worry. I'll write the minute I get back.
Love,
Laura
Dear Prue:
Tomorrow I take my first time-travel lour. I wish you could see my costume. Very fetching! It's cut so that my breasts are displayed in the style of ancient Crete. A friend of mine doubts the authenticity of the dress but says the charms it shows off are really authentic! Next time I see you I'll lend you the pattern for the dress. But I honestly think, darling, you ought to get one of those Lift-Up operations first. I've been meaning to tell you- Of course, I don't need it myself.
I'll tell you all about it (the trip I mean) when I get back.
Love,
Laura
Dear Prue:
I had the stinkiest time! I'll never know why 1 let that character at the travel agency talk me into it. The accommodations were lousy. If you want to know what I think, it's all a gyp. These Grab Bag Tours, third-class, are just the leavings. that they can*t sell any other way. I hate salesmen. Whoever heard of ancient Crete anyway? And the Minotaur. You would certainly expect him to be a red-blooded he-man, wouldn't you? He looked like one. Not cute, you know, but built like a bull, practically. Prue, you just can't tell anymore. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
You've heard about that fu
I flicked off the light, dropped my blanket, and ran.
From behind I heard a man's voice. "All right, sis, we'll play games."
Well, Prue, I hadn't played hide-and-seek in years (except once or twice at office parties), but I was still pretty good at it. That part was fun. After a time my eyes adjusted to the dark so that I could see well enough to keep from banging into die walls. Sometimes I'd deliberately make a lot of noise to keep things interesting. But do you know what? That character would blunder right by me, and way down at the end of the comdor he'd make noises like "Oho" or "Aha."
Frankly, I got discouraged. Finally I heard him grumbling his way back in my direction. I knew the dope would never catch me. so I just stepped out in front of him and said "Wellll?"
You know, in that drawly sarcastic way I have.
He reached out and grabbed me, and then he staggered back-like you've seen actors do in those old, old movies.
He kept pounding his forehead with his fist. and then he yelled, "Cheated! Cheated again!" I almost slapped him.
Instead I snapped on my perma-tight and let him took me over good.
"Well, Buster," I said very coldly, "what do you mean, cheated?"
He gri
"Darling," he said, "you look luscious, indeed, but what the hell are you doing here?"
"I'm sightseeing," I said. "Are you one of the sights?"
"Listen, baby, I am the sight. Meet the Minotaur." He stuck out his huge paw, and 1 shook it.
"Who did you think I was?" I asked him.
"Not who, but what," he said. "Baby, you ain't no virgin."
Well, Prue, really. How can you argue a thing like that?
He was completely wrong, of course, but I simply refused to discuss it.
"I only gobble virgins," he said.
Then he led me down into his rooms, which were really quite comfortable. I couldn't forgive the Agency for that cot, so when I spied his lovely, soft couch draped in pale blue satin, I said, "I'll borrow that if you don't mind."
"It's all yours, kid," the Minotaur said. He meant it, too.
You remember how pale blue is one of my best colors? There 1 was lolling on the couch, looking like the Queen of the Nile, flapping my eyelashes, and what does this churl want to do?
"I'm simply starved for talk," he says. And about what?
Prue, when a working girl spends her hard-earned savings on time travel, she has a right to expect something besides politics. I've heard there are men, a few shy ones, who will talk very fast to you about science and all that highbrow stuff, hoping maybe you won't notice some of the things they're doing in the meantime. But not the Minotaur. Who cares about the government a room's length apart? Lying there, twiddling my fingers and yawning, I tried to remember if Daddy had ever mentioned anything about the Minotaur's being so persnickety. That's the trouble with books. They leave out all the important details.
For instance, did you know that at midnight every night the Minotaur makes a grand tour of the Labyrinth? He wouldn't let me go along. That's another thing. He just says "no" and grins and means it. Now isn't that a typical male trait? I thought so, and when he locked me in his rooms the evening looked like turning into fun. I waited for him to come back with bated breath. But you can't bate your breath forever, and he was gone hours. When he did come back I'd fallen asleep and he woke me up belching.
"Please," I said. "Do you have to do that?"
"Sony, kid," he said. "It's these gaunt old maids. Awful souring to the stomach." It seems this windy diet was one of the things wrong with the government. He was very bitter about it all. Tender virgins, he said, had always been in short supply and now he was out of favor with the new regime. I rummaged around in my wrist bag and found an antacid pill.
He was delighted. Can you imagine going into a transport over pills?"
"Any cute males ever find their way into this place?" I asked him. I got up and walked around. You can loll on a couch just so long, you know.
"No boys!" The Minotaur jumped up and shook his fist at me. I cowered behind some hangings, but I needn't have bothered. He didn't even jerk me out from behind them.