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Rejection Slips
a - Learned
Dear Asimov, all mental lawsProve orthodoxy has its flaws.Consider that eclectic clauseIn Kant's philosophy that gnawsWith ceaseless anti-logic jawsAt all outworn and useless sawsThat stick in modern mutant craws.So here's your tale (with faint applause).The words above show ample cause.b - Gruff
Dear Ike, I was prepared(And, boy, I really cared)To swallow almost anything you wrote.But, Ike, you're just plain shot,Your writing's gone to pot,There's nothing left but hack and mental bloat.Take back this piece of junk;It smelled; it reeked; it stunk;Just glancing through it once was deadly rough.But Ike, boy, by and by,Just try another try. I need some yarns and, kid, I love your stuff.c - Kindly
Dear Isaac, friend of mine,I thought your tale was fine.Just frightful-Ly delightfulAnd with merits all a-shine.It meant a quite fullNight, full,Friend, of tensionThen reliefAnd attendedWith full measureOf the pleasureOf suspendedDisbelief.It is triteful,Scarcely rightful,Almost spitefulTo declareThat some tiny faults are there.Nothing much,Perhaps a touch,And over suchYou shouldn't pine.So let me sayWithout delay,My pal, my friend,Your story's endHas left me gayAnd joyfully composed.P. S.
Oh, yes,I must confess(With some distress)Your story is regretfully enclosed.