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«I like it rough sometimes, Richard, but not that rough. Sorry.»
He nodded and gave me a sad smile. «Raina helped me enjoy intercourse too rough for anyone else. She made Nathaniel like pain in a way that most people wouldn't even survive.»
«I know.»
He shook his head. «No, you don't. You think you know, but you can't imagine it. I saw some of what she taught him to enjoy.»
«He doesn't talk like you ever saw him with her,» I said.
«Blindfolds, earplugs, nose plugs; you can't see, hear, or smell who's in the room. She invited me over once, tried to get me to help her, but torturing was never anything I liked. Raina found that disappointing.»
I swallowed and tried to think of something useful to say; nothing came to mind. «I don't know what to say to that.»
«I don't know why I told you that. Did I want to shock you? Did I want you to think less of Nathaniel? Less of me?» He shook his head and started for the door again.
I was ready for him to leave because I didn't know what to do with the mood he was in, and I really didn't want more sex. The hard cramps had passed, but I was hurting, and would be for a while.
He stopped with his hand on the doorknob. «Do you realize that most of the men in your bed are ones that she was with?»
«I hadn't thought about it.»
He turned and looked over his shoulder at me. «Jean-Claude was with her and Gabriel; it was the price she demanded from him. You know she made Jason a werewolf?»
«Yeah.» I'd actually shared that memory with Jason. She'd tied him to a bed and cut him up while she fucked him. She hadn't cared whether he lived or died. I'd been inside her head on the memory, and she hadn't cared. She really was serial-killer material, because her pleasure had meant more to her than Jason's life.
I got a whisper through my head. «Think harder, Anita.»
I shivered, and that made my lower body hurt. «Go, Richard, go, okay?»
«What's wrong?»
«I think I need not to think about her so hard.»
«She talked to you?»
I nodded.
«You think you have her under control, and maybe you do, but you might just think on this. Jean-Claude, me, Jason, Nathaniel, all of us were hers first. Maybe there's a reason you're attracted to her old lovers.» With that very unsettling thought, he left, closing the door behind him. I was happy that Richard was doing therapy; it was helping, honest. The trouble was, he seemed to want me to do therapy with him, and that I wasn't ready for.