The Positronic Man

Twenty

IT WAS NOT A DIRECT FIGHT. Andrew had given Simon DeLong the clue to the right strategy to use, and Andrew agreed with the tactic; but it was DeLong's considered professional opinion that the campaign was going to be roundabout and slow. DeLong counseled patience.

"I have an endless supply of that, I suppose," Andrew muttered grimly.

Feingold and Charney then entered into a campaign to narrow and restrict the area of combat.

A certain Roger He

"I'm sure you're not aware of it, Simon, but something seems to have gone wrong with your accounting procedures lately. What I mean is, my invoices have been sitting here open since December, and it's coming up on June now, and-"

"Yes. I know."

"-it really isn't at all like Feingold and Charney to let an account run 80-" He

"Yes. The account has gone unpaid on my direct instructions, as a matter of fact."

Still blinking in astonishment, He

"That's right."

"For God's sake, why?"

"Because we don't want to pay you."

"What do you mean, you don't want to pay me? Do you know how many years my robots have been cleaning these offices, Simon? Have you ever had the slightest reason in all that time to complain about the quality of the work?"

"Never. And we intend to retain your services just as before. But we're not going to pay you any more, Roger."

He

DeLong smiled. "There's quite a good reason for it."

"And what may that be, can I dare to ask?"

DeLong said, "We aren't going to pay you because we don't have to. We've decided that your contract with us is invalid, and from now on your robots are going to work for us for nothing if they go on working here at all. That's the story, Roger. If you don't like it, sue us."

"What? What?" He

"Because you're a robot, Roger. There's only one robot in the world who has the right to enter into binding contracts, and his name is Andrew Martin. The rest of you, because you are not free robots, have no legal right to enforce"

He

DeLong was laughing.

He

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be laughing. I owe you a tremendous apology for letting this go on so long."

"I think you do. I don't expect lawyers to have much of a sense of humor, but a dumb joke like this-"

"It isn't a joke, though. We really are going to withhold your fees, Roger. We really do want you to take us to court. Our argument indeed is going to be that you are a robot, and that therefore it is quite within the law for us to thumb our collective nose at our contract with you. And we will defend our position with all the skill at our disposal."

"Will you, now?"

"But it is our profound hope, and our intention as well," DeLong went on, "to lose the suit. And when we do, you'll not only be paid the back fees that we owe you, which will be placed in escrow for you accruing interest, but we will pay all your legal fees as well, and I can tell you, strictly off the record, that there'll be a considerable bonus payment for you besides to compensate you for any incidental difficulties that this case may cause you. A very considerable bonus payment."

He

Then he said quietly, "I'm truly sorry for your troubles, Simon. You really have gone completely out of your mind, then. What a great pity that is."

"Not at all. I'm as sane as I ever was."

"Ah. Are you, do you think?"

"Absolutely."

"In that case, do you have any objection to telling me what this is all about?"

"I'm afraid it would be improper for us to disclose that to you in advance of the litigation. But I will say, Roger, that we have an excellent reason for it all, which will make sense to you in the fullness of time, and I hope that you'll cooperate with us even in the dark, so to speak, out of consideration for your long relationship with us. We need you to play along with us, Roger, and we'll take care of you properly afterward."

He

"So it's all a maneuver of some sort, then?"

"You could call it that, I suppose."

"But you won't tell me what's going on?"

"No. Not now. That would be too much like entering into a conspiracy with you."

"But you are entering into a conspiracy with me!"

DeLong gri

"Well-" said He

He

When the case of He

The robot He

"But my client is not a robot!" He

"Your client," the Feingold and Charney man replied, "was equipped some years ago with a robotic prosthetic heart, is that not the case?"

"Why-possibly he was. I'd need to check with him on that. But what possible relevance can this-"

"It is quite relevant, I assure you. And I respectfully request the Court to obtain a determination on this point."

The judge looked toward He

"I've got a prosthetic ticker, sure. But what-"

The Feingold and Charney man said, "Our position, your honor, is that the presence of a life-sustaining mechanical artifact of that kind in Mr. He

"So that's it!" He

The uproar in the courtroom was tremendous. The judge pounded his gavel and shouted, but he could scarcely be heard for minutes. Then at last what he was saying came through the furor. The case was dismissed, with a directed verdict in favor of the plaintiff. Mr. Roger He

Feingold and Charney appealed.

The case had a more elaborate debate at the appellate level, with expert witnesses called in to discuss definitions of humanity. The issue was approached from every angle-scientific, theological, semantic, philosophic.

The verdict in favor of He

Feingold and Charney appealed again.

They fought the matter skillfully and tenaciously, losing at every step but always in such a way that the issue widened steadily, from a simple Shall He