Un Lun Dun

16. Stuck

“Come on,” said Za

“I bet I could,” Deeba said, but she stood, holding Curdle.

“We deserve to,” Za

The UnSun was getting lower, and the sky darker.

“We have to find somewhere to shelter,” Za

“And food,” said Deeba.

They clambered laboriously up the slope, hauled themselves onto the ridge, and stared.

They were in the middle of undulating roofs, a slatescape in red and gray and the color of rust. It rose and fell like mountainside, steep, shallow, deep, flat, interrupted by trenches where streets must run, unlit alleys between houses. The angles were broken by dormer windows, by squat chimneys like patches of mushrooms, by tangles of ante

They stared for a long time in the direction Za

“What do we do?” said Deeba. “How do we get anywhere?”

“I don’t know,” said Za

“You’re kidding,” she said. Sighing, she put Curdle in her bag, and— slowly— followed her friend.

They stopped, suddenly, as an awful bleating cry sounded nearby, and was answered from a long way off.

“What was that?” whispered Deeba.

“How should I know?” Za

“Well I’m not Shwazzed. You know everything, Shwazzy. Shwa me what you can do.”

“Shut up,” said Za

“Shwat up yourself.” Za

They gripped a chimney stack and waited for their hearts to slow down. Far off, they could see the rise of tower blocks and the odd shell or vegetable or typewriter-and-fridge roof of UnLondon, but for a long way, it was just foreboding hillocks of slate.

The air was darkening. Deeba leaned into the chimney. Curdle nuzzled her forlornly.

“Oh man, ” Deeba said. She couldn’t stop herself saying, “I want my mum and dad. How do we get down?”

“Why in the name of Unstible,” a loud voice said, “would you want to get down?”

Za

They were surrounded.

There were men and women on the ledges. They wore tough-looking furs and padded boots.

They trotted carelessly on brick ledges, somersaulted like gymnasts, and landed poised on slopes. One man had a baby strapped to him in a harness on his chest. It gurgled happily as he scampered up and down giddying slopes.

“ ‘Get down’ indeed,” the same voice said.

On a roof overlooking them was a tall, athletic, imperious-looking woman. She strode casually, reached a gap between buildings, jumped calmly over it, and landed on her toes. She took hold of an ante

“You, young grubs, are in the territory of the Slateru

Za

“We’re looking for someone called Badladder,” Za

“Oh are you?” the woman said, and the Slateru

“Conductor Jones dropped us here,” Za

“He had to go,” said Deeba. “He wanted to stay but—”

“We were being chased by grossbottles,” Za

“What help is it you need?” the woman said.

“People want to stop me,” Za

“Shwazzy!” The whisper went through the Slateru

“You’re here?” someone said. “It’s happened!” And: “At last!” “Is Unstible with you?” “Did you bring the Kli

“I don’t know what any of that means,” Za

“We have to get out of here,” Deeba said.

“Will you help me?” said Za

“Of course, ” the woman said. “I can’t believe you’re here. At last. Now the bloody Ess Emm Oh Gee better watch itself!” She vaulted and landed in front of them. “I’m Inessa Badladder. This is Eva Roadshun; Alfred Stayhigh; Jonas Ridgetrotter; Marlene Chimneyvault…”

“I’m Za

“The Propheseers live in Pons something,” Deeba said.

“Shwazzy, it’s an honor to be of help,” Badladder said, ignoring Deeba.

“We have to go to the bridge,” said Za

“The Pons Absconditus,” said Badladder. “Of course.”