The Warlock Unlocked

Father Al sighed, and sat back, loosening his webbing, gazing out the port as his current problem floated to the surface of his mind again. There was one big question that the PBB bio hadn’t answered: How could McAran have known about this man Gallowglass, about something that would happen more than a thousand years after his own death? And that question, of course, raised another: How had McAran known just when to have the letter opened, or who would be Pope at the time?

The boarding ramp shivered to a stop, and Father Al filed out into Luna Central with a hundred other passengers. Gradually, he worked his way through the flow to a data wall, and gazed up at the list of departing ships. Finally, he found it—Proxima Centauri, Gate 13, lifting off at 15:21. He glanced up at the digital clock above—15:22! He looked back at the Proxima line in horror, just as the time winked out, to be replaced by the glowing word, “Departed.” Then the gate number blanked, too.

Father Al just stared at it, numbed, waiting for the departure time of the next ship to light up.

Presently, it did—3:35 Greenwich Standard Time. Father Al spun away, fueled by a hot surge of emotion. He identified it as anger and stilled, standing quiet, letting his whole body go loose, letting the outrage fill him, tasting it, almost relishing it, then letting it ebb away till it was gone. Finagle had struck again—or his disciple Gundersun, in this case: “The least desirable possibility will always exert itself when the results will be most frustrating.” If Father Al arrived at Luna to catch the Centauri liner at 15:20, of course the liner would liftoff at 15:21!

He sighed, and went looking for a seat. There was no fighting Finagle, nor any of his minions—especially since they were all just personifications of one of humankind’s most universal traits, perversity, and had never really existed. You couldn’t fight them, any more than you could fight perversity itself—you could only identify it, and avoid it.

Accordingly, Father Al found a vacant seat, sat down, pulled out his breviary, and composed himself to begin reading his Office.

“Gentleman, I was sitting there!”

Father Al looked up to see a round head, with a shock of thick, disorderly hair, atop a very stocky body in an immaculately-tailored business coverall. The face was beetle-browed and almost chinless, and, at the moment, rather angry.

“I beg your pardon,” Father Al answered. “The seat was empty.”

“Yes, because I got up long enough to go get a cup of coffee! And it was the only one left, as you no doubt saw. Do I have to lose it just because there was a long line at the dispense-wall?”

“Ordinarily, yes.” Father Al stood up slowly, tucking his breviary away. “That’s usually understood, in a traveller’s waiting room. It’s not worth an argument, though. Good day, gentleman.” He picked up his suitcase and turned to go.

“No, wait!” The stranger caught Father Al’s arm. “My apologies, clergyman—you’re right, of course. It’s just that it’s been a bad day, with the frustrations of travel. Please, take the seat.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it.” Father Al turned back with a smile. “No hard feelings, certainly—but if you’ve had as rough a time as that, you need it far more than I do. Please, sit down.”

“No, no! I mean, I do still have some respect for the clergy. Sit down, sit down!”

“No, I really couldn’t. It’s very good of you, but I’d feel guilty for the rest of the day, and…”

“Clergyman, I told you, sit down!” the man grated, his hand tightening on Father Al’s arm. Then he caught himself and let go, smiling sheepishly. “Will you look at that? There I go again! Come on, clergyman, what do you say we junk this place and go find a cup of coffee with a table under it, and two seats? I’m buying.”

“Certainly.” Father Al smiled, warming to the man. “I do have a little time…”

The coffee was genuine this time, not synthesized. Father Al wondered why the man had been waiting in the public lounge, if he had this kind of expense account.

“Yorick Thai,” the stranger said, holding out a hand.

“Aloysius Uwell.” Father Al gave the hand a shake. “You’re a commercial traveller?”

“No, a time traveller. I do troubleshooting for Doc Angus McAran.”

Father Al sat very still. Then he said, “You must be mistaken. Dr. McAran died more than a thousand years ago.”

Yorick nodded. “In objective time, yes. But in my subjective time, he just sent me out in the time machine an hour ago. And I’ll have to report back to him when I get done talking to you, to tell him how it went.”

Father Al sat still, trying to absorb it.

“Doc Angus invented time travel back in 1952,” Yorick explained. “Right off, he realized he had something that everyone would try to steal, especially governments, and he didn’t want to see what that would do to war. So he didn’t file for a patent. He made himself a very secret hideout for his time travel lab, and set up a research company to front the financing.”

“There’s not a word about this in the history books,” Father Al protested.

“Shows how well he keeps a secret, doesn’t it? Not quite well enough, though—pretty soon, he found out there were some other people bopping around from advanced technological societies, cropping up in ancient Assyria, prehistoric Germany—all sorts of places. After a while, he found out that they came mostly from two organizations—the Society for the Prevention of Integration of Telepathic Entities, and the Vigilant Extenders of Totalitarian Organizations. He also found out that they were both using time machines that were basically copies of his—without his permission. And they weren’t even paying him royalties.”

“But you said he didn’t file for a patent.”

Yorick waved the objection away. “Morally, he figured he still had patent rights—and they could at least have asked. So he formed his own organization to safeguard the rights of individuals, all up and down the time line.”

“Including patentholders?”

“Oh, yes. In fact, he calls the organization ‘The Guardians of the Rights of Individuals, Patentholders Especially.’ Pretty soon, he had a network of agents ru

Father Al pursed his lips. “I take it that means he supports democracy?”

“What other system really tries to guarantee an inventor’s patent rights? Of course, supporting an organization that size requires a lot of money, so he went into the treasure-hunting business. He’d have an agent in, say, ancient Greece bury some art objects; then he’d send a team to dig ‘em up in 1960, when even a child’s clay doll would fetch a thousand dollars from a museum. With coins, he’d have ‘em dug up in the Renaissance, and deposit them with one of the early banks. It’s really amazing what can happen to a few denarii, with five hundred years of compound interest.”

“Speaking of interest,” Father Al said, “it’s rather obvious that our meeting was no accident. Why are you interested in me?”

Yorick gri

Father Al frowned. “I take it you have an agent in the Vatican, today.”

“No fair telling—but we do have our own chaplains.”

Father Al sighed. “And what is your interest in Gramarye?”

“Mostly that SPITE and VETO are interested in it. In fact, they’re doing all they can to make sure it doesn’t develop a democratic government.”

“Why?”

Yorick leaned forward. “Because your current interstellar government, Father, is the Decentralized Democratic Tribunal, and it’s very successful. It comprises sixty-seven planets already, and it’s growing fast. SPITE and VETO want to stop it, any way they can—and the easiest way is to let it grow until its own size destroys it.”

Father Al gave his head a quick shake. “I don’t understand. How can size destroy a democracy?”