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'Oh, you know ... fu
'Like what?'
'Weird. Um. Lifelike, I suppose.
'It's sposed to be. Just like the real thing, it says. I hope you've read the manual properly. My dad spent a whole coffee break copying that.'
Joh
'Yes. Right. Better read it, then. Thanks for Star Fighter Pilot-' 'TeraBomber. My dad brought me back Alabama Smith and the Jewels of Fate from the States. You can have a copy if you give me the disc back.'
'Right,' said Joh
'Right,' said Joh
He never had the heart to tell Wobbler that he didn't play half the games Wobbler passed on. You couldn't. Not if you wanted time to sleep and eat meals. But that was all right because Wobbler never asked. As far as Wobbler was concerned, computer games weren't there for playing. They were for breaking into, rewrit- ing so that you got extra lives or whatever, and then copying and giving away to everyone.
Basically, there were two sides to the world. There was the entire computer games software industry engaged in a tremendous effort to stamp out piracy, and there was Wobbler. Currently, Wobbler was in front.
'Did you do my History?' said Wobbler.
'Here,' said Joh
'Thanks,' said Wobbler. 'That was quick.'
'Oh, in Geog last term we had to do one about What it's like being a peasant in Bolivig. I just got rid of the llamas and put in stuff about kings having their heads chopped off. You have to bung in that kind of stuff, and then you just have to keep complaining about the weather and the crops and you can't go wrong, in peasant essays.
Joh
He could just about remember the days when you could still get games where the instructions consisted of something that said, 'Press { for left and } for right and Fire for fire.'
But now you had to read a whole little book which was all about the game. It was really the manual, but they called it 'The Novel'.
Partly it was an anti-Wobbler thing. Someone in America or somewhere thought it was dead clever to make the game ask you little questions, like 'What's the first word on line 23 on page 19 of the manual?' and then reset the machine if you didn't answer them right, so they'd obviously never heard of Wobbler's dad's office's photocopier.
So there was this book. The ScreeWee had turned up out of nowhere and bombed some planets with humans on them. Nearly all the starships had been blown up. So there was only this one left, the experimental one. It was all that stood against the ScreeWee hordes. And only you ... that is to say John Maxwell, aged twelve, in between the time you get home from school and get something to eat and do your homework ... can save mankind.
Nowhere did it say what you were supposed to do if the ScreeWee hordes didn't want to fight.
He switched on the computer, and pressed the Load Game key.
There was the ship again, right in the middle of his sights.
He picked up the joystick thoughtfully.
There was an immediate message on the screen. Well, not exactly a message. More a picture. Half a dozen little egg-shaped blobs, with tails. They didn't move.
What kind of message is that? he thought
Perhaps there was a special message he ought to
send. 'Die, Creep' didn't seem to fit properly at the moment.
He typed: Whats hpaening?
Immediately a reply appeared on the screen, in yellow letters.
We surrender. Do not shoot See, we show you pictures of our children.
He typed: Is this a trick WObbler?
It took a little while before the reply came. Am not trick wobbler. We give in. No more war.
Joh
Want to go home.
Joh
Lies!
Joh
And then he thought: they never had the chance. They couldn't.
But games are a lot better now.
They never made things like the old MegaZoids seem real, with stories about them and Full-Colour Graphics.
This is probably that Virtual Reality they're always talking about on the television.
He typed: It is only a game, after all. What is a game?
He typed: Who ARE you?
The screen flickered. Something a bit like a newt but more like an alligator looked back at him.
I am the Captain, said the yellow letters. Do not shoot!
Joh
Joh
But YOU live again.
Joh
Joh
We do not understand the question.
This is daft, thought Joh
He typed: Why should I trust you?
LOOK BEHIND YOU.
Joh
Of course, there was no-one there. Why should there be anyone there? It was a game.
The newt face had disappeared from the screen, leav- ing the familiar picture of the inside of the starfighter. And there was the radar screen- covered in yellow dots. Yellow for the enemy.
Joh
Little fighters, big cruisers, massive battleships. If they all had him in their sights, and if they ....... He didn't want to die.
Hang on, hang on. You don't die. You just play the game again.
This was nuts. It was time to stop it.
He typed: All right what happens now? We want to go home.
He typed: All right no problem. You give us safe conduct
He typed: OK yes.
The screen went blank.
And that was it? No music? No 'Congratulations, You've Got the Highest Score'? Just the little prompt, flashing on and off. What did safe conduct mean, anyway?
2.
Operate Controls To Play Game
You never said to your parents, 'Hey, I really need a computer because that way I can play Megasteroids.'
No, you said, 'I really need a computer because of school.' It's educational.
Anyway, there had to be a good side to the Trying Times everyone was going through in this house. If you hung around in your room and generally kept your head down, stuff like computers sort of happened. It made everyone feel better.
And it was quite useful for school sometimes. Joh
Fu