Deadman Switch

Zagorin nodded. "I know what you mean—I lived in Cameo before I joined the Halo of God. I've sometimes thought that even without the rest of it, the stars alone would make life here worthwhile."

Something caught my attention, off to our right... "Something's out there," Calandra said sharply, peering into the darkness. "An animal?"

Zagorin followed her gaze. "No, there aren't any animals that size on Spall," she assured us. "Probably one of our people meditating."

"What, at this hour?" I frowned.

"God takes calls around the clock," Zagorin reminded us dryly.

I swallowed, my mouth oddly dry. "Tell me, Shepherd Zagorin... what's it like?"

Even in the darkness I could sense Calandra's disapproval of the question. Zagorin, on the other hand, gave the distinct impression she'd expected me to eventually ask. "You mean, what's it like to be in direct contact with God?" she asked.

I nodded. "Do you actually hear Him speak? Or is it more like just a sense of His presence?"

She hesitated. "It's really sort of midway between the two," she said slowly. Prepared for the question or not, it was clearly not an easy thing to put into words. "It's a... well, a presence is probably the best way to describe it. A presence above and beyond that of humankind, circling us and filling us."

"And speaking to you?" I asked.

I felt her wry smile. "I'm sure He's speaking," she said. "Whether or not we know yet how to listen properly is another question."

Almost exactly the same words Adams had used at his failure to get guidance as to what to do about us. "But there are words to it?" I asked. "Or is it more like emotions or abstract thoughts?"

"For some of us, it's all three," she shrugged. "There's no obvious pattern—God seems to have chosen to speak to each of us differently. We don't know why."

Who has ever known the mind of God? Who has ever been his adviser? "Does it come clearer with experience?" I asked her.

"Usually, but there are those among us who were gifted at hearing Him from the first." She hesitated, just a bit. "As well as some for whom no amount of practice seems to help."

I heard something in her voice... "Such as the man who's out there now?" I suggested, waving toward the movement we'd seen.

I could sense Zagorin's surprise, and the wry acceptance that followed it. "You Watchers do live up to your reputation, don't you?" she said. "I wonder how you'd be at hearing God."

There was no insult or challenge in the comment that I could detect, merely genuine interest. "We're not likely to be here long enough to learn your methods," I reminded her.

"It isn't all that hard," she told me, begi

"We won't have time," Calandra put in. Her voice said to drop the subject.

Zagorin caught the tone, too, and reluctantly gave up. "Well, if you change your mind—either of you—just let me know. So. Shepherd Adams's letter implied you'd be heading out from here in the morning. Will you be coming back at nightfall?"

I shook my head. "Probably not. We have a lot of territory to cover, and we've only got three days to do it in."

She very much wanted to ask me what exactly we were looking for, but politeness won out. "All right. I'll have the computer figure out the likely power you'll need for three days and have the sucon rings loaded into your car. We also have a couple of fold-down shelters on hand—if you've got room for them, they'll certainly be more comfortable than sleeping in the car."

I tried to remember whether or not a spaceship's standard survival pack included that kind of shelter. "If you can spare them, we'd certainly appreciate it," I agreed. "But if you're using them—"

"It's no problem," she assured me.

I thought back to Calandra's fears that the Seeker communities would be hostile to outsiders. I would have to remind her of that sometime. "In that case we accept," I told Zagorin with a nod. "Thank you very much. Tell me, what do you know about the territory east-southeast of here?"

"Not very much, I'm afraid. It gets hillier out there—that'll be obvious a kilometer or so after you leave Myrrh—with some genuine mountains and buttes cropping up here and there. You'll find thicker vegetation about where the hills start up, too, though it shouldn't be too thick for you to drive through."

I sensed Calandra's sudden interest. "Thicker vegetation of the same type as around here?"

"Mainly," Zagorin said. "There's also more variance in species, especially the larger types like thunderheads."

"More plentiful ground water?" I hazarded.

She shrugged. "I really have no idea. It could just as well be something in the soil or in the plants themselves, for all I know."

Calandra's guarded interest was begi

"In the middle of God's kingdom?" she asked, gently reproving. "No."

Beside me, I sensed Calandra's grimace. "Of course," I murmured. "Well, then..." I paused, groping for something else to say.

"Here we are," Zagorin spoke up smoothly into the gap. "I see the Mustains aren't home yet—will you be all right inside alone, Calandra?"

"No problem," Calandra assured her. "They prepared my room and showed me where everything was before di

"Good. I trust the Changs did likewise for you, Gilead? Good. Well, then, if you'll both excuse me, I'll need to get back to my office and get that power-use calculation done. Sleep well, and please let me know before you leave in the morning."

We assured her we would, on both counts. Exchanging good-nights with her, we watched as her dimly lit silhouette headed back toward the lights of the meeting house.

"Predators in God's kingdom, indeed," Calandra murmured from beside me as Zagorin's footsteps faded away. "How silly of you to even ask."

"Let's be a little less sarcastic, shall we?" I growled, a

"Yes, well, you'll forgive me if I get uneasy relying on people whose brains don't fit right, won't you?" she shot back.

"Since when—?"

"Come on, Gilead. They come all the way out here just so they can worship Solitaire's Cloud? What would you call them?"

I sighed. "So you think that's what their meditations are picking up, too?"

"What else could it be? The option is that they're all suffering from hallucinations or genuine mass insanity. Unless you want to suggest that this really is the heavenly kingdom?"

The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate being made of a single pearl, and the main street of the city was pure gold, transparent as glass... "If it is, the accepted description is way off," I conceded. "You know, it just occurred to me... on the way into Solitaire system Mr. Kelsey-Ramos asked me to try and see if I could sense whether or not the Cloud was alive."

"And was it?"

Evert now, the memory of what I'd been asked to do made me shudder. "I couldn't bring myself to try," I had to admit. "My point was whether the question itself might imply the Solitaran officials are starting to notice the Seekers' success with their meditation."

"You mean we're back to the old knot about just what the Cloud really is?" Calandra asked thoughtfully, interested in spite of herself.